Please help.... I am torn inside

[Iggy5129]

Ok, so this is just a quick (well...sorta) question. Ok, so my ex and i broke up in january (i mean officially ended it). Anyway, now he is saying that he misses me and wants to get back together. I want that too, I mean I REALLY want to get back together but the thing that I am hesitant about is the fact that he had sex with another girl while we were broken up. I know it doesn't really matter and I don't care that much since it's not like he cheated on me and our relationship was high pressure but I just cannot stop thinking about it and how much it pisses me off. I think I am just being jealous. Should I just forget about it and go with the "well, whatever happened happened, this is a new relationship and the past doesn't matter" mindset or is there some relevance to the "what the hell he had sex with someone else" thought in the back of my head. I really love him and he said he is sorry for what he put me through, and I understand why he did it. should I just let it go?

[sweetharmony]

who broke up with who? that really makes all the difference in my answer.

 

if he broke up with you, I wouldn't be so quick to get back. you can get past that, but I'd be wondering, did he break up to get some with someone else? if he did, why did he break up with you?

 

but if you broke up w/ him, then you can't be so judgemental. yeah, i mean it's wrong, I mean you broke his heart and it may have been some rebound thing or some way to numb the pain.

[Hopingpraying]

It really depends on the reasons for the breakup. I would not be so concerned that he slept with someone else while you were broke up, I would be concerned are we going to get back together only to go through the same crap again in a few months? So why did you break up?

 

Is the reasons for the breakup fixed?

 

The reason I would not be concerned about him sleeping with someone else is because you were not together at the time. And to be honest anyone you date will have slept with someone else at some point. There are not many virgins in this world anymore...

[water_baby]

i know how you are feeling. i went through the same thing and it was killing me. i could not stop thinking about what he had done and we argued a lot as a result. the thing that matters is whether you can get past it and try and move on from it.

it is natural to feel jealous...you love him but the realtionship is worth it you should try.

i realised that the more good things we did togther the more what he did became the past. now i can think about it without getting mad ( there was a time when i never thought that was possible). it can work if you are willing to try.

good luck

waterbaby

[Lilu]

Hello Iggy,

 

It seems you didn't give us much information about why and how your relationship ended. Maybe by explaining a bit more, we could help you better- But for now, all I can say to you is to make sure no matter what happened, you both take time off. Have some time to think about things, before getting back together.

 

Lilu

[woobiegirl]

Hi Iggy,

 

sweetharmony & hoping&praying brought up a couple key points. Right now the ball is in your court, give it clear consideration based on what YOU want. Consider what made you break up, evaluate what was said and/or brought up during this time, you can learn so much that you really never knew the other felt or didn't feel. The bottom line being you can now "take it or leave it"...which will you be happier with? If you sieze the opportunity, don't bring up the past. If you need to talk to him about it, tell him to meet you for an open heart talk, to confirm your both on the same thought pattern...then put it behind you and consider yourself blessed to get a 2nd opportunity. It's not about "who did what"...it's about what we learned and the changes we made that are most important.

 

To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction.

 

Good luck,

Woobiegirl

[sashagirl]

The main reason you should consider this is how much you love him. If you were broken up when he slept with someone else, then I wouldn't hold that in your way. Just ask yourself if he is really worth it- does he bring out qualities in yourself that you like? Figure out he sees the situation and then act on that.

[rusty_boi]

its like the saying you dont know what you got til its gone im not going to tell you what i would do if i were you because i dont know all the details and how much you like him etc but i will tell you this be careful if you do decide to get back with him and maybe having sex with her opend his eyes to show how much he wanted you