Giving your New Ex a birthday present?

[tattoobunnie]

My guy and I, after 8 months of being exclusive broke up about two/three weeks ago because we weren't sure if we were ready to go to the next level, commitment (marriage/moving in). We both had some personal things to work out. He wants to stay best friends, though his actions are conflicting where he seems to keep me in his life, like odd excuses to see me, cute texts, random emails.

 

After some time of contemplation, a few days ago, I told him that my intentions were to get back together. We have plans next weekend to do something nice. His birthday is a few days after that. For the occasion, considering he spent a huge butt-load of money on mine, I want to get him a tie from his favorite store. Would getting him a present work in my favor, or is that a bad idea?

[Puckdog27]

Couldnt hurt, seems like you guys are friendly enough and spending time together. I dont think it will help or hurt getting back together.

[LillyLooWho]

What was his reaction to you telling him your intentions were to get back together? If he was receptive, then there is hope and a gift seems ok. If he wasn't, then maybe a gift would be too much. Maybe a card?

 

My ex's b-day is next week and I am going to send an email that says "Happy Birthday" and that's about it. I got a lot to say to him but what's the point? Better to leave well enough alone, well in my case anyway.

[tattoobunnie]

Well, he was receptive in a way that he's reading this commitment book I gave him, He's Scared, She's Scared. I wanted him to take some time to think about the possibility of us trying again, and told him to not give me an answer yet. We'll be talking about when we see each other next weekend.

 

I was thinking a card too...but then I feel a bit bad, since for mine, he did gifts, lavish intimate dinner, flowers, and paid an entire hefty bar tab for my birthday party with friends.

[tattoobunnie]

I just wanna make sure that if I do a gift, I don't wanna make him feel weird or pressure, and in the same token, I feel like if I don't get him one, he won't feel appreciated.

[LillyLooWho]

Ok, so maybe you get him the gift and tell him when you hand it to him that it made you feel good to reciprocate on his birthday after what he did on yours.

[HeartGoesOn]

Spending time with him, and buying him a birthday gift is not the way to win him back. You're giving him all the benefits of being in a relationship, without him having to put any effort into trying to get back together, in the true sense.

[tattoobunnie]

Mmm...very good point...just needed a lil' slap of reality...