ScorpiGal83 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Long story short... I met this cute boy at a friend's birthday dinner. There were lots of people there that night, some old friends I hadn't seen in ages, so during dinner I didn't really notice or talk to him much, I was just introduced to him, said hi, then continued talking to my old friend. Anyway, after the dinner, I was walking to my car (alone) and bumped into him and a friend. So we chatted a bit and he asked how I knew the birthday girl and so on. He was quite funny and sweet, and walked me to my car. After that I realised, hmm, he's kinda cute, I wonder if he's single... just a thought really. Added him on Facebook and voila, he is single. Got more interested. So I wrote on his wall saying 'hi', he wrote back the next day. Nothing for a few days after that, until he 'liked' my status. Then I poked him, he poked back. NOW what?? How do I make the first move? Is sending him a message saying hello and just chatting about general stuff (to suss him out) too creepy? Should I just forget it? I don't necessarily want to date him or anything per se I just want to get to know him. Ugh, this is all so 'playground' and silly... I know. Link to comment
Hopefully Not Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Hi. I've no idea what 'poking' is, but I do know about being a guy. He's interested. He'd like it if you asked him out. Be honest. Tell him you think he seems cool and you find him attractive and would enjoy spending some time together. Good luck. Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 'Poking' is just this silly facebook thing that you do to sort of get someone's attention but without sending them a message... just like "hey there". He could just be doing it to be polite, couldn't he? I mean... if he's interested... why isn't he sending me a message or anything like that? Other guys are/have been doing that. Funnily enough there is ONE guy I also met at the same party who is coming on a BIT too strong for my tastes - I hardly spoke 2 words to HIM and he's messaging me and asking me out and all... and every day on gmail he wants to chat. But I'm not interested in HIM, i like this other guy!! Link to comment
Angelstar30 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 'Poking' is just this silly facebook thing that you do to sort of get someone's attention but without sending them a message... just like "hey there". He could just be doing it to be polite, couldn't he? I mean... if he's interested... why isn't he sending me a message or anything like that? Other guys are/have been doing that. Funnily enough there is ONE guy I also met at the same party who is coming on a BIT too strong for my tastes - I hardly spoke 2 words to HIM and he's messaging me and asking me out and all... and every day on gmail he wants to chat. But I'm not interested in HIM, i like this other guy!! Maybe he's shy. I would straight out ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. Link to comment
quirky Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Maybe he's shy. I would straight out ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. wow, really? scorpiogal, please let me know what happens if you do! Part of me as well also thinks he could message you you know? Shy, not shy it's not too much of a move, nothing intimidating.. OP, is there any chance you'll see him with friends again? Is it obvious from facebook that YOU are single? Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 wow, really? scorpiogal, please let me know what happens if you do! Part of me as well also thinks he could message you you know? Shy, not shy it's not too much of a move, nothing intimidating.. OP, is there any chance you'll see him with friends again? Is it obvious from facebook that YOU are single? I don't think I'll see him with friends again... this was a one-off HUGE gathering and a lot of the people there don't usually hang out together regularly.. so the chances of me seeing him again are... not good. Yeah, on Facebook I am obviously single and available... I don't know what to say if I message him... i had this retarded idea of mentioning to him that he went to the same prep school as my dad but that's kinda silly... but that school is really proud of its 'Old Boys' or something.. gah I am grasping at straws here. I just wanna start a conversation and hope he'd take the lead in terms of hanging out... Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Maybe he's shy. I would straight out ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. *Gulp* I was afraid of that.... If I do it I'll let you all know what happens.... Link to comment
Angelstar30 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 wow, really? scorpiogal, please let me know what happens if you do! Part of me as well also thinks he could message you you know? Shy, not shy it's not too much of a move, nothing intimidating.. OP, is there any chance you'll see him with friends again? Is it obvious from facebook that YOU are single? What do you mean "Wow, really?" Link to comment
Angelstar30 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 *Gulp* I was afraid of that.... If I do it I'll let you all know what happens.... Trust me - I know how nerve wracking it is even thinking about making the first move! But you have nothing to lose. Do it! Just be casual about it. Ask him to hang out one of these days. Link to comment
anya1607307555 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I'm all for women making the first move (I was of the ActNowNothingToLose Brigade), however, since you're wisely considering ahead.. 1) Be clear about your intentions. First you say you don't necessarily want to date him, then it seems like you really do. Give this more thought before you push forward. If you're unsure, he will be too. Would you like to 'Hang out' as friends or 'Go out' as more, choose your words carefully. 2) So far I'd say the 'dance' has leant slightly more to your side, he has only really responded to your advances. (I'm not suggesting you are but keep in mind your own 'creepy guy', you don't want to venture into that territory.) Hang back and allow him to show his own intentions. 3) Patience. Difficult but sitting out that moment of 'I need to act NOW' usually leads to a place of clarity. Waiting and observing usually tells you all you need to know. 4) Good luck! Link to comment
SouthernSon Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Sounds to me like he already made the first move and might even be wondering what he did wrong. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Send him a message asking him if he wants to do lunch. When he replies, exchange phone numbers. Call the day of the lunch to solidify plans. (and officially break the phone barrier) and then go from there. Link to comment
Hopefully Not Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 'Poking' is just this silly facebook thing that you do to sort of get someone's attention but without sending them a message... just like "hey there". He could just be doing it to be polite, couldn't he? I mean... if he's interested... why isn't he sending me a message or anything like that? Other guys are/have been doing that. Funnily enough there is ONE guy I also met at the same party who is coming on a BIT too strong for my tastes - I hardly spoke 2 words to HIM and he's messaging me and asking me out and all... and every day on gmail he wants to chat. But I'm not interested in HIM, i like this other guy!! He could be just being polite. He could be shy, or playing hard to get. Most likely he's asking himself the same things you are about this situation. So what? Treat him like you'd want to be treated. Be honest. Set a good example. Worst case you make him feel good about himself, and maybe he won't be as shy next time whether he likes you or someone else. Take the advice in the post immediately above mine. Link to comment
Shudder Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 sometimes i wish things like this happened to me lol Link to comment
Di_ya2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 To be honest, I feel like you made some effort by adding him and messaging him so I don't see why he would be shy or not make any more moves. Do you know if he uses facebook a lot? Ask a friend what his situation is (I don't know if that's creepy)...but it'll give you an idea. But, him walking you to your car definitely shows interest on his part. Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 I was thinking about this and... well, considering I'm leaving the country in a month, perhaps now is not a good time to start anything. I don't think I will proceed any further, as one poster said, I may just confuse him since I myself seem confused. So I will leave it be for now. Thanks for all the advice guys! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 I think that you have to realize that you are the one putting out the effort, you added him on face book, and he appears to only be responding to the efforts that you do. I think you should step it up a notch and go beyond internet communications (of course this assumes that you have his number). If you dont have his number then I dont think that a message is creepy but realize that you have to be direct and only ask the question that you want an answer to. Link to comment
Timbone Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Hey gals, it's 2009. The tired dating games of your grandparents' day are just that, tired and old. For ages men have kept women from being an equal player in the world stage, and now that's changed for the most part. Women wanted to step up and take a commanding role in their lives, as they should and are entitled to do. I say you do that here in the dating world as well. Throw aside the old ways, and embrace the new ways of the world. Go for what you want, but be prepared to be hurt - just like guys have to do. You can do it. Link to comment
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