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so i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. since i was 15. we are best friends, and he is a great guy. i love him. but i know he isnt the one for me. There isnt even the attraction there was in the beginning. We havent had sex in over 6 months. we are not affectionate, its like were just close cuddly friends. I have been feeling unhappy with this situation for at least a year. i feel i am wasting my time with this "boyfriend". So one night i got really drunk and made out with another guy. it was super awesome to feel wanted and sexy. I admitted what happened to my bf and he forgave me. i told him i want to see other people and he said no. we stayed together. i continued talking with this new guy. we talked about personal stuff like relationships and family and we made out(sober). he was so sweet and he complimented me a lot and made me feel like im just the cutest girl ever. he said he liked me and trusted me, and he was an open book. this new guy knew i was freaked out to be cheating and he was super uncomfortable. we texted a little bit the next day. i called him, but no answer. i texted him but no response. now me and my boyfriend have broken up and i havent heard from the new guy. i cant stop thinking about him. i feel like a * * * * and a loser and i wish he would call me. i miss my bf too. i just want comfort, and i miss seeing my bf all the time. im really confused and hurt. what should i do? what is going on?

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