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Hi all,


Let me start by saying I'm a gay guy, and I've been going through a really awful dry spell (1 1/2 years with no date) although that's coming to an end now. I also am really inexperienced and lack confidence in dating and tend to overanalyze, although I did have a 2 years realtionship a couple years back. All the dates I've found so far have been off of internet dating sites because I'm too shy to go to the bars and there's not a lot of other options for gay guys.


So- there's this guy (let's call him Stan) who I've known for a little while through school. I've always found him really attractive (most other people agree) but he was in a long-term relationship so I didn't act on it, although it did seem to me at times like he might be attracted to me. I'm pretty sure I caught him checking me out one time.


I found out via facebook that Stan and his boyfriend split (I don't know why) back in May or June after being together for quite a while. Since then, I've seen him a couple of times- he invited me to a birthday party, I did the same. Under normal circumstances I would say Stan's out of my league, but his old boyfriend wasn't any better looking than I am, so maybe he just has peculiar taste. (shrugs) Neither Stan nor I have made a move or anything so I don't know if he's necessarily interested or not but I think he might go out with me, maybe?


At the same time I belong to some internet dating sites and have been talking to a guy I'll call Caleb. Caleb asked me out and we had lunch on Sunday. It was really nice, he seems like a kind, well-grounded person, smart, and cute. I had a nice time.


So now it's getting to the 3 day mark and I'm debating whether to call Caleb back. I'm worried that I might not put as much effort into Caleb as I should if I'm still secretly hoping for somehting to happen with Stan. On the other hand, I'm in the midst of an intolerable dry spell, I don't get dates every day, and Caleb seemed like a great person and I don't know either of them all that well yet.


I have a long history of ruining relationships and making perfectly wonderful guys really miserable- the first guy I dated didn't work out because I was still in love with my first love from undergrad, who was straight, so that should show you how messed up I am...


Perspective, anybody?

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