choosing?

[pianoguy]

Hi all,

 

Let me start by saying I'm a gay guy, and I've been going through a really awful dry spell (1 1/2 years with no date) although that's coming to an end now. I also am really inexperienced and lack confidence in dating and tend to overanalyze, although I did have a 2 years realtionship a couple years back. All the dates I've found so far have been off of internet dating sites because I'm too shy to go to the bars and there's not a lot of other options for gay guys.

 

So- there's this guy (let's call him Stan) who I've known for a little while through school. I've always found him really attractive (most other people agree) but he was in a long-term relationship so I didn't act on it, although it did seem to me at times like he might be attracted to me. I'm pretty sure I caught him checking me out one time.

 

I found out via facebook that Stan and his boyfriend split (I don't know why) back in May or June after being together for quite a while. Since then, I've seen him a couple of times- he invited me to a birthday party, I did the same. Under normal circumstances I would say Stan's out of my league, but his old boyfriend wasn't any better looking than I am, so maybe he just has peculiar taste. (shrugs) Neither Stan nor I have made a move or anything so I don't know if he's necessarily interested or not but I think he might go out with me, maybe?

 

At the same time I belong to some internet dating sites and have been talking to a guy I'll call Caleb. Caleb asked me out and we had lunch on Sunday. It was really nice, he seems like a kind, well-grounded person, smart, and cute. I had a nice time.

 

So now it's getting to the 3 day mark and I'm debating whether to call Caleb back. I'm worried that I might not put as much effort into Caleb as I should if I'm still secretly hoping for somehting to happen with Stan. On the other hand, I'm in the midst of an intolerable dry spell, I don't get dates every day, and Caleb seemed like a great person and I don't know either of them all that well yet.

 

I have a long history of ruining relationships and making perfectly wonderful guys really miserable- the first guy I dated didn't work out because I was still in love with my first love from undergrad, who was straight, so that should show you how messed up I am...

 

Perspective, anybody?

[hexaemeron]

Hey man. There is nothing wrong withgetting to know multiple people until you know if someone is right for you. Just keep everyone on the level, wear a jimmyhat and when you're ready to go exclusive with someone, do so.

[Timbone]

Just keep seeing other people as much as you can before you have to put all your eggs in one basket. You never know where these dates can go, or if they go nowhere. Just paly the field right now, you aren't tied down to anyone right now!