Everything was going great...and then he bailed?

[dopaminefiend7]

Hey so i'm new to this whole thing but this has really been bothering me so here we go...so my ex and i first dated about 2 years ago we are both in recovery...i was his first real relationship along with being the first girl he ever said I love you too...his mom and i were super close and she would always tell me how strange it was to see him being in a relationship...he had actually told me from the beginning "I never let anyone get that close" and my response literally was "Well we'll change that" ....i know healthy!...anyways....he randomly broke up with me after a few months and never really gave me an explanation.......i was heartbroken and just didnt understand...i finally let go when he moved to seattle and i had a solid year to move on....well of course as fate would have it he moved back randomly..and then added me on myspace...as soon as i saw the friend request my heart was racing...next thing i know hes IMing me the next day and then from then on started to leave random comments on my page and would continue IMing when we were both on...this was all new to me because before I was ALWAYS the one to chase him and make the first move or contact...finally we talked on the phone for FOUR HOURS!! he kept bringing up every detail of our past (the good things) and we laughed and had a great connection...a couple days later we hung out....and he kissed me i told him i was afraid..he asked why and i told him he just left last time..he explained that with where he was at in sobriety at that point it just didnt feel right..and was sorry he never explained that to me but he understood why i was afraid...i told him i knew we hadnt established what we were doing and i was ok with that but we need to take things slooooow..he agreed ( i should mention to you at this point he only has about 2 and half months of sobriety i have 2 and half YEARS..) he said he himself wasnt sure what was the right decision on where to go with what we were doing...so we just continued hanging out and pretty much dating he called every night and he was actually taking me out on dates which he NEVER paid last time around...i did because he was unemployed...and even now he was tight for money but would still take me out..he still didnt have a car so despite me driving us places he would fill up my tank..and always make sure to ask me if i needed anything or would just get me something when he did for himself..very sweet..of course you can only take it slow for so long when you've already been with someone so we had sex...he could not finish..we tried 3 different times and it just wouldnt happen...i was very sure to be observant of if he was going to start to be distant when this happened but he was still very affectionate and close...i was surprised because in the past he had always hated being touched when he slept and had even mentioned the last girl he dated annoyed him because she was constantly touching him and while he slept...but he would wrap around me when we slept...in fact i was the one annoyed because it would be hard to sleep with him all over me...but it was nice...he would wak eup and kiss me in the middle of the nightafter our last sexual situation he brought me over to his moms to hang out for a bit and she had invited us to come to dinner that sunday i watched him and he seemed to look scared?? i told her i had to work and he said "we;ll see whats up" which is an annoying response i hate ...he called me a day later but i was on the phone with an upset friend and said id call him back....i couldnt get a hold of him for the next couple days (he doesnt have a phone so i have to call the house and if no ones there no answer) last time he had called was a friday then finally friggin MONDAY he calls...and sounds SUPER DISTANT i asked what his schedule was that week and he said he worked all week which had never been a problem before? i was like ok so what mornings nights...? i told him i was off the next day and did he wanna hang out..he said he was maybe gonna hang out with this guy but he wasnt sure he'd give me a call...that night i broke up with him through email ( i know i suck) I said "Hey i dont think we should keep doing whatever it is we're doing..im already seeing red flags and honestly i have too much on my plate right now to worry about this (fulltimeschool) I know we never established what this was but i dont appreciate being left in the dark for a few days i deserve more consideration than that i wish you all the best...take care....he read it and never responded...i feel like i should have talked to him first or something but it felt like he was about to bail anyway...i love him so this really sucks...helpppppp suggestions plllleeeease!!!!!

[Havik]

After a year of being away, and making things work, and breaking up through an email, I would be completely shocked and angry. I would have just been like eff it. Seeing your the dumper, Idk how much advice people can give you. You didn't make time for him, how can you expect anything from this.

[dopaminefiend7]

but i did make time for him? do you mean that i didnt talk to him about it first...thats where i feel i messed up...see his pattern is normally to bail when everything is goin good...and i felt like that was about to happen anyway so i just got out while i could...i dont know what to do...havik help