Why is it that every man who takes an interest happens to live on another continent?

[mad rabbits]

So, after just getting out of a long distance involvement that didn't go too well, I swore I would never get into anything like that again. He was in UK, I am in Australia.

 

Three months later and I hit it off with someone on a site. And he's from Ireland (he approached me).

 

I've already decided to tell him its not on, we are not doing any online relationship type thing or LDR. I am getting too old to live by half measures so its either all the way or nothing. I am happy to be friends and chat occasionally though.

 

I am just frustrated, this seems to happen to me a lot! Australian men don't seem interested in me at all, and I'm hardly ever interested in them. Grrr.

 

Does anyone else have this problem?

[cantexplain]

Let's face it. I'm single no matter what I've tried ... LOL!!

 

I've had some great Internet exchanges with gals as far away as Moscow, Bogota, Vancouver, and all around the States. Those I ended-up meeting were great people. But nothing has resulted in marriage or a long-term SO. Distance is always an obstacle, but not the deal-breaker. In any case it was always fun and I learned a lot. The Internet gave me these great opportunities.

 

Are you in or near a city in AU, or out in the bush? (not that I am trying to hook-up or anything). I'm just trying to get at whether you have many opportunities to meet people in your community. I'm just now getting out in some new venues locally around people with common interests and values. Granted: it is easier to start up a conversation on the Internet.

 

I can't fault the Internet or distance if I've not physically met someone. If I haven't met them in person I absolutely don't have enough info at all.

[Huzzah_89]

Im Australian too and i've got a thing for british and american women too. Dont ask me why.

[mad rabbits]

It's difficult isn't it?

 

I'm not in the bush, I'm in Sydney, the biggest city in Australia! There are opportunities to meet, but...it just seems Australian men - the majority that I've met - can't find much to value in me and vice versa.

 

I am unconventional and bookish and have a PhD. A lot of men here are, you know, into sports and surfing and beer and barbecues and such. Its a stereotype, but they just don't interest me, and they seem to seek the more conventional qualities in women that I just don't have.

 

I am very attracted to Englishman and sometimes Canadians too.

[agburns84]

I'm also an Australian guy from Sydney and before my current girlfriend I had the exact same kind of problems. American and English girls were always my favourites because overall I got along the best with them and I found some who could have been great matches if only we lived closer. I did have a long distance relationship with someone from the US and after that I always considered the issue of distance as something that can be conquered if you truly believed. As long as you have the time difference (for phone calls/time for chatting online etc) sorted out, it can work to some extent. But I guess it depends on what the individual wants in the long run. Now, I just love knowing I have met some great overseas contacts with whom I've become close friends.

[TBE_1989]

Hahaha! I'm in the exact same situation, nice guy interested in me living in a different country.

 

It's so frustrating, but I guess you have to look at the positives. Take confidence in the attraction and interest these 'faraway' guys have in you and use that to have anew degree of confidence in looking for guys who don't live so far away.

[quirky]

it just seems Australian men - the majority that I've met - can't find much to value in me and vice versa.

 

I am unconventional and bookish and have a PhD. A lot of men here are, you know, into sports and surfing and beer and barbecues and such. Its a stereotype, but they just don't interest me, and they seem to seek the more conventional qualities in women that I just don't have.

 

I am very attracted to Englishman and sometimes Canadians too.

 

Welcome to my world..! I'm having a very similar difficulty. I come from Greece but lived in the UK for 9 years and have never dated anyone of my own nationality (i'm back home now). I actually feel like I don't "get" them and vice versa, just find it hard to be free and sexy around them. Also they seem to lack a certain "quality" and I find it boring we speak the same language..!

[cantexplain]

I live in a city well-known for materialism and trophy cars and wives. The air is incredibly polluted while every creek for a 50 mile radius is seething with sewage overflows during and after rains. Our state is among the lowest in high school testing scores, yet we have many corporate headquarters. The economy is sound and secure. Money and opportunity is plentiful and relatively easy. The community doesn't talk about education or environment much. It doesn't value these things, so that's ok. I mean it is its choice to care about air conditioning and big kitchens .. whatever, I dunno. I do care about test scores of my children and the water they might play in after school. Those like me who do care about these things huddle together in off-beat neighborhoods and churches. We feel isolated perhaps, but we do have each other. I am into the environment, prefer to live simply, like my money in the bank instead of a car ... blah, blah, blah.

 

Meanwhile, I could be in Seattle, Portland, SF, Denver, Northern New England and find myself, on average in much different company. I do think that people gravitate to areas where the company more generally suits them. Those left behind feel out-of-place. Many of my friends eventually leave my city because of the same reasons I describe above. It just does not appeal to them. To those it does appeal, that is okay. They can have it. They made it, after all.

 

The Internet provides us the opportunity to connect with people with similar values --- anywhere. I could use the Internet to connect with people in my city. So I do think that there is some truth to this that we have good reasons for our interests in people from afar.

 

When some things change in my life, I do plan to get the heck out of this town I am in.