Silly Question

[smiley1979]

This is probably a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway. I just met this guy at a group a couple weeks ago. We're just acquaintances right know. We've only met twice. We don't go to the same college so we only see each other at this group once a week. The first week, he introduced himself and we talked for a couple of minutes. After that 5 of us went out for coffee. Before we ordered, he and I talked for a while. He asked me a lot about myself and seemed very excited about what I was talking about. He was smiling the whole time we were talking. When he came to join the 4 of us at the table, he sat between the two tables facing me. And he also offered me one of his donuts.

 

The next week after the group ended, he saw me, smiled and said hi, he remembered my name then he asked how I was doing? Later when he came back into the room, I thanked him for the books. He asked if I wanted the rest of them. I said I did. He told me he was joking.

 

After the group, 3 of us went out for something to eat. He smiled the whole time and he always seems to stand right beside me. We all talked about different things. Whenever I wasn't saying anything, either one of the guys would notice. This particular guy asked me what I wanted to talk about. I didn't have any particular thing I wanted to talk about. We were making jokes about reading the paper and he said jokingly pointing in a general direction saying " Hey honey, what does this say." Then he proceeded to say "Not that I have a honey." When we were talking about tv and movies. I told my movie preferences and he said "We wouldn't get along" but in a nice way. When he mentioned a particular show and I said that I liked it. He said excitedly "You do" then he said " I'm surprised." He also told me that I could come to watch a movie at the college when they put it on. Once the 3 of us left the restaraunt, he wanted to see my car. He examined the back of it and said it was a really nice car. While we were outside, I mentioned that I didn't bring any blankets to residence and he said he had a ton and I could borrow one if I wanted.

 

So, my question is. Is he interested? Am I reading too much into this.

[Batya33]

Right now it's pretty clear that he is interested in flirting with you and finds you cute/attractive. If he is interested in taking you on a date, he will ask you out on a date. I would definitely follow up on the movies conversation by asking him if he's seen a certain movie -- hopefully that will result in him asking if you want to see it with him.

[pinkrobot]

Sounds like he could be, but he's the only one who knows the real answer.

 

Why not ask him to hang out, just the two of you?

[DN]

Ask him if you can borrow a blanket and offer to buy a coffee as a thankyou.

[smiley1979]

Right now it's pretty clear that he is interested in flirting with you and finds you cute/attractive. If he is interested in taking you on a date, he will ask you out on a date. I would definitely follow up on the movies conversation by asking him if he's seen a certain movie -- hopefully that will result in him asking if you want to see it with him.

 

There's a movie playing at his college. He asked me if I had seen that movie and casually mentioned that I should go. I didn't respond at the moment. A few days later I emailed him and asked him when the movie was. He replied with a smiley face and told me when the movie was. He asked me how many people I was thinking of bringing with me. I haven't replied to him yet. I'm trying to find people to come with me but I don't know if anyone will come. If none of my friends are able to come, should I go alone and tell him that my friends were unable to make it? Should I forget about going altogether?

[DN]

I think he asked you how many you would be bringing to see if you were interested in a romance or a friendship.

[Batya33]

Well, look, the "how we met" story would be so much better if you end up with just the two of you going so in the interests of giving us all a great romantic story (after all, isn't that the most important thing? ;-) please please just tell him that you're not sure who's available but you'd love to go.

[smiley1979]

Well, look, the "how we met" story would be so much better if you end up with just the two of you going so in the interests of giving us all a great romantic story (after all, isn't that the most important thing? ;-) please please just tell him that you're not sure who's available but you'd love to go.

 

should I tell him that I don't know of anyone to bring or should I just show up alone? I don't go to his college so that I think it might be a little awkward showing up alone. So what should I say if I want to go but no one I knows wants to go? He assumed that I would maybe bring a couple of people to the movie. I was going to tell him that I was thinking of bringing a couple of people to the movie because I thought it might make him feel more comfortable knowing that it wouldn't be just me in case he does like me. Should I just tell him that I haven't found anyone to come with me but I'd still like to watch the movie?

[smiley1979]

I think he asked you how many you would be bringing to see if you were interested in a romance or a friendship.

 

So how do I know if he's interested in a romance or friendship?

[DN]

If when you tell him you are going alone he asks you to go with him.

[smiley1979]

Ask him if you can borrow a blanket and offer to buy a coffee as a thankyou.

 

I asked him if I could borrow a blanket but I didn't offer to buy a coffee as a thankyou. I might think of something later on. Anyway, we met at a store and he bought me a blanket! I thanked him very much. I met him at the store and we walked around and talked a little. So, does this mean anything or is he just a real friendly guy? I mean what is your opinion. I know no one can tell for sure if he's interested but what do you think?

[DN]

I think he might be , few guys would buy a blanket for a girl they were not interested in - you should ask him to see the movie with you.

[pinkrobot]

100% agree with DN. *

 

I would be shocked if this guy wasn't interested in you. Definitely join him for the movie!

[smiley1979]

100% agree with DN. *

 

I would be shocked if this guy wasn't interested in you. Definitely join him for the movie!

 

Even if I'm not really interested in the movie?

[DN]

Even if I'm not really interested in the movie?

Of course!!!!!!! #-o

[smiley1979]

Thanks for the advice. I will go.

[pinkrobot]

Of course!!!!!!! #-o

 

Haha yeahhhhhh...you don't turn down the chance to hang out with someone you like, no matter how uninterested you are in the activity.

 

If you go, it gives you the opportunity to mention something YOU like doing, and ask him to join you!

[Lonewing]

Tell him you're thinking you might just bring one person...him!

 

And you really want to go. even if the movie sucks. My movie tastes aren't the same as everybody else,s but I can enjoy the company of another while I am watching somethign horriawful

[smiley1979]

I don't think he likes me. One evening, I called him and we talked for abbout a minute maybe two and he kept asking me if there was anything else. I told him there wasn't. Anyway the next day I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to hang out. He hasn't replied yet and it's been a little over a week. He's been away but he has access to the internet so he would reply by now if he liked me, right? It seems whenever I think a guy likes me, and I try to communicate more with him, he doesn't like me. Maybe I seem to desperate? I don't know. Next time I think a guy likes me, I'm not going to do anything about it and just maybe the guy will ask me out.

[Batya33]

I don't think he likes me. One evening, I called him and we talked for abbout a minute maybe two and he kept asking me if there was anything else. I told him there wasn't. Anyway the next day I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to hang out. He hasn't replied yet and it's been a little over a week. He's been away but he has access to the internet so he would reply by now if he liked me, right? It seems whenever I think a guy likes me, and I try to communicate more with him, he doesn't like me. Maybe I seem to desperate? I don't know. Next time I think a guy likes me, I'm not going to do anything about it and just maybe the guy will ask me out.

 

I think if you express interest, but don't ask him out, you have a better chance of the guy in question seeing potential for a relationship. If you don't express interest then at least some guys won't want to put in the effort to ask you out, and if you ask him out, often you are usurping his traditional role so that even if he is flattered he probably will lose interest in you as a potentially serious girlfriend. Unfair, but I think true and has been true for years.

[smiley1979]

I talked to him on msn a couple of days this week. He told me he was sorry about not replying to my email and that he was swamped with grad school and work. We talked for about 30minutes on msn. I asked him if he had read my email and he said he had read it quickly but and asked if there was anything that needed an immediate answer. I told him not exactly then I proceeded to ask him if he wanted to hang out sometime and he said Oh... Yeah, I’m sure we’ll find a few times to hang out. It’s just a matter of time for me. He then said he should go study but he was still online and we kept talking. Finally, I told him that I’d let him go study. A few minutes later he logged off. A couple of days later, we were on msn at the same time so I said hi (name) and he replied with Hey there. I asked him if he got any studying done and he said he didn’t get enough done but everything would work out. He put a smiley face in there. Then he logged off a minute later. Today, I talked to him on msn, again and asked him what happened to him last night and he said that stuff came up and when he logged back in, I wasn't online. He told me he was going to jump offline just then to study then he said "Sorry!!!! I told him he was a busy guy and he replied with "Yeah-busy is my pace of life. Some of his friends stay and some leave because of it but he said he loves what he's doing. Then he said "Catch ya later!" I also asked him if he knew if he would be online this week and he said he doesn't really plan it. He said "on and off." The next day I sent him an email asking him if he knew anything about a certain event since everyone I talked to told me to talk to him about it. I emailed him at 8pm and he replied the same day at 8:40pm. My question is: does he like me? And Does he know that I like him?

What types of games would he playing if he was playing games? Is there any way I can make him interested again? If so, how can I do that?

I already asked him to hang out sometime. He replied with "Oh..Yeah, I'm sure we'll find a few times to hang out. It's just a time thing for me with work and grad school."

I'm away right now, so we can't really hang out this week. There's a group I enjoy going to and he usually goes,too. Afterwards, a bunch of us usually go out to eat. I enjoy this. He usually goes, also. Now, what should I do? How should I act around him? Should I go out to eat with these people? Should I stop flirting (that is,if I am)? Should I still talk to him like I did before he knew I liked him?

He added the smiley and sad faces in his messages.

[Batya33]

I think he's made it pretty clear by not asking you out on a date and not accepting your invitations that he is not that interested in you and does not choose to make you a priority. I don't think you should take that personally but I think if you continue to message him and ask him out/ask him to ask you out or get together it could get a little annoying for him. Don't burn bridges - he may know some nice guys to introduce you to!

[smiley1979]

So I hadn't talked to this guy for a few weeks. And he hadn't been at the group that we both attend for a few weeks. Anyway, he was there this week and I came in late. He waved at me when I came in. I waved back, then took a seat. There weren't any beside him. Anyway, when the meeting was over, he came up and talked to me and asked me about my vacation. He also asked if I was going to go to the movie they were playing at his school. I told him maybe because I didn't want to seem to eager. I did end up going with a few other people from the group. I sat behind him because there weren't any seats beside him, plus his friends were there so I didn't want it to seem obvious that I like him. Anyway, I noticed that he could not sit still. I don't know if he's that type of person or what. Anyway, I had to drive people home, so I didn't have time to talk to him. The next day, a bunch of us went ice skating. He wasn't one of the people who was coming but when I arrived at the rink, I saw him there. He greeted me and I asked him if he had skated before and he said he had. During a break, he said he liked my shirt. While we were all skating, I was trying to figure out how to stop. Anyway, I asked him to show me and he did. Then he would try to catch me if I was going to fall. Then I wasn't quite getting it, so he held on to my wrist so I wouldn't fall. We skated around a couple of times. I almost fell a couple of times and one time, I almost took him down with me. We were both smiling and laughing the whole time. I told him that I told people that I wasn't going to fall then I did and he told me that you fall when you push yourself and that's good. I'm still wondering if I have a chance with him?

[DN]

Ask him to go see a movie with you.

[Batya33]

My sense is that he is probably not interested in you romantically but if you feel that you need to test that to make sure then ask him out on a date. Certainly, holding you by the wrist when he had the opportunity to hold your hand without being seen as too forward is pretty telling that he is interested in friendship. He also might be interested in flirting, or in the ego boost he gets from his sense that you are interested in him, but I don't think he is interested in dating you.