What do I do :(

[soursobgirl]

Today is our one year.

 

I told him last night that it was our anniversary and he said to me we aren’t doing anything because we are going on an overseas trip this year. I didn’t say anything.

 

Anyway he didn’t even say happy anniversary to me or anything – not mention of today … nothing..

 

Instead we had an argument because I was joking around that hes never going to move out. Hes 31 and lives with his mum.

 

Hes like I know what you are doing ***** dropping all these hints that I need to move out. I am not dumb.

I said no I know your not going to move out – you might never move out ………………… then he got really angry.

He told me … this is why he cannot tell me he loves me. Its been one year and I haven’t heard it … he says we are too inconsistent for him to be able to tell him that he loves me. I have been with him over one year in total and he has never said it.

 

My heart is shattered into a million pieces.

 

I don’t know what to do .

 

I know I shouldn’t antagonized him about moving out – we have had various fights about the subject before and he said to me I know how much it annoys him so why do I bring it up.

 

Anyway we walk me back to work in complete silence and kissed me goodbye… then I went into the toilets at work and I grown 27 year old woman balled her eyes out.

 

What do I do …

[waveseer]

I was in a similar position once and my head kept screaming at me, "If you don't love me by now, you will never ever love me, ooo-ooo-ooo." It's a song. I had no peace until I cut myself loose.

[soursobgirl]

My friend said to me either he loves you or he doesnt. My friend is opting for the doesnt.... it shattered my heart.

I mean isnt it clear that he doesnt care about me.

He said we are saving money yet he went and spent 200 dollars on new soccer clothing that he didnt need. Yet we had to save money for our trip and no anniversary presents or anything?

[faithful14]

I think he's just really upset because of the joke you made. He seemed to take it really personally so it could be that deep down he does want to move out but he doesn't have either the financial means or motivation. I would just back off and give him his space so you and him can cool off. Just wait till you are both in a better mood to talk to each other. It would probably be best to just not bring it up anymore as it wil only cause more trouble in the relationship. If and when he is ready to move out, he will. Nothing else that you say or anyone will make him do it. This is a choice he will make on his own. And don't let yourself get too caught up in this, okay? Everything will be fine : )

[waveseer]

How does he act when he's around you? Does he treat you well in general?

[Ac143]

A man that cares about you wouldnt treat you this way. I have felt the way you have a few times & those guys weren't it...I would suggest finding yourself someone you deserve. The man that really cares about you wont let "that day" slip by without at least saying something, even if he didnt have money to get you something.

[pinkrobot]

It's concerning enough that he hasn't told you he loves you after being together for a year.

 

It's even more concerning that he openly acknowledges that he won't tell you he loves you, even after being together for a year.

 

And the MOST concerning thing is, it's not just that he won't tell you he loves you--but he doesn't appear to be showing it, either.

 

Are you sure you're happy with this guy?

[soursobgirl]

How does he act when he's around you? Does he treat you well in general?

 

He isnt very affectionate at all - neither am I ... people think we are best friends sometimes rather then lovers.

He does call me pretty and say I am his princess but he never says I love you or anything like that.

He isnt one for gifts or cards ... or anything like that.

He has sort of a push pull with me ... he gets angry pushes me away ... he likes being with me he pulls me closer.

People have called him a mommys boy because he lives alone with his 60 year old widowed mother.

 

He just wrote me this in an email

 

I cop so much cr*p about it. From you, sister, friends even other girls when I was single. 25+ yr old living at home = mommys boy, useless, cant stand on his own 2 feet… no independence… just basically pure garbage.

[waveseer]

He isnt very affectionate at all - neither am I ... people think we are best friends sometimes rather then lovers.

He does call me pretty and say I am his princess but he never says I love you or anything like that.

He isnt one for gifts or cards ... or anything like that.

He has sort of a push pull with me ... he gets angry pushes me away ... he likes being with me he pulls me closer.

People have called him a mommys boy because he lives alone with his 60 year old widowed mother.

 

He just wrote me this in an email

 

I cop so much cr*p about it. From you, sister, friends even other girls when I was single. 25+ yr old living at home = mommys boy, useless, cant stand on his own 2 feet… no independence… just basically pure garbage.

 

I agree with the other poster who said you hit a frayed nerve with the living at home thing.

 

What do you like about him? It doesn't seem like he's bringing very much to the table.

[faithful14]

I forgot to add though, I think not saying I love you or not even something as small as happy anniversaery is hurtful. Is he always an angry person?

[soursobgirl]

I agree with the other poster who said you hit a frayed nerve with the living at home thing.

 

What do you like about him? It doesn't seem like he's bringing very much to the table.

 

Well he does make good money... as in very good money.. more money that you or me would ever make. Thats not the point though.

I have fun with him, he is my best friend, we have similar interests ... and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him... if we got over this love hurdle.

 

He told me LOVE IS S*IT once because he has hangups about his ex gf. His dad passed away and then his gf left him and ran off with his best friend. He still has hangups about this ... this was 6 years ago.

[waveseer]

Well he does make good money... as in very good money.. more money that you or me would ever make. Thats not the point though.

I have fun with him, he is my best friend, we have similar interests ... and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him... if we got over this love hurdle.

 

He told me LOVE IS S*IT once because he has hangups about his ex gf. His dad passed away and then his gf left him and ran off with his best friend. He still has hangups about this ... this was 6 years ago.

 

Money can't buy you love.

 

I do okay money-wise without having a man to treat me poorly.

[soursobgirl]

I forgot to add though, I think not saying I love you or not even something as small as happy anniversaery is hurtful. Is he always an angry person?

 

Yes he is. His moods range all over the place. He has diabetes and his blood sugars are crazy = moods are crazy. I am not soley blaming his moods on it. But it doesnt help.

 

He is often rude to his mother ... his sister... has zero patience.

[soursobgirl]

Money can't buy you love.

 

I do okay money-wise without having a man to treat me poorly.

 

I know that money cant buy love and I have seen it with my parents first hand. My dad bought my mum a yacht and she freaked out at him after going through a lifetime of hurt and pain with him she left him after 26 years. Money isnt important to me and it certainly cannot buy love.

[faithful14]

Whatever happens, don't let him bring you down and make you feel worthless. If he can't respect you or just be somewhat affectionate, then it would be best to find someone who would treat you like a queen and adore you : )