Lost all interest in dating all of a sudden!

[Puma]

I'm the kind of person who has always desired an intense and fulfilling long-term relationship while sharing good times and new experiences with that special someone. I was politely dumped after a short-lived relationship recently and was back on the prowl this summer. However, after taking lots of time to reflect on the past and realizing further what I want to pursue in life (school/career), all of a sudden I lost all and any interest in finding a suitable partner, and my focus is shifting much more towards reinventing myself... and I almost feel that getting too invested at this time will distract me and possibly ruin my plans for the future as I intend to relocate.

 

It doesn't have to do with being burned in previous relationships nor am I at all fearful of being in one again (in fact, I would welcome it given the correct circumstances and chemistry).

 

Has anyone else ever felt this way? I found it very unusual since my yearning for sharing my happiness with someone else has always been a strong feeling. It's like a neon "No Vacancy" sign on my heart lit up out of nowhere once I had a clearer idea of what I'll be doing in life.

[brando]

Puma,

I think it is fine to feel a loss of desire for dating. Its meaning is irrelevant.

Besides you are focusing on the most important person you will ever get to know, yourself.

 

I am certain that in time as you further develop your self, and accomplish the goals you would like to achieve, you may begin to desire dating once again.

 

You are in the meantime, and it seems you are on the right track by looking inward and not out.

 

be well,

Brando

[Timbone]

You've got plenty of time to date still, so I would certainly concentrate on yourself and your career. That's the best place to spend your time and efforts.

 

if you aren't feeling it for the dating world right now, then shut that part out! It will be there when you get back to it, and you'll be in an even better place to attack it than where you are now.

[Eye]

I've never felt that way--wish I had! Although I have put dreams/career ahead of a relationship in particular instances (and vice versa).

 

But I've heard from people who have experienced exactly what you say, and I think it's a good and healthy thing. A relationship can come later--or when you least expect it!

[Puma]

Sorry to bump this thread, but I feel this is relevant.

 

I was just cleaning out some old files in my computer a few nights ago and stumbled upon a couple photos of my ex and I (who dumped me back in June) at his college graduation party from a few months ago. I was able to look at it and not feel a thing - not an ounce of sadness, regret, anger or self-pity surfaced like I imagined it would. I stared at it for a few minutes remembering the good times and decided not to delete them just yet.

 

Perhaps it's my indifference towards dating/relationships/anyone else at the moment and constant overanalyzing that has caused me to become so numb towards something that used to be such a touchy subject for me. That was exactly my goal all along and I'm happy to say that I've achieved it.