Im going crazy!

[Haywire]

Hi,

 

I have posted here before about having depression and wanting to die. Life is driving me crazy at the moment and I need to let out my feelings. In my life I have many wonderful things like family, friends, career etc and I appreciate them dearly. Depression can be made better by eliminating the things that cause it. What do you do when life itself makes you depressed? I want to explain exactly what I mean by this so you can have a good understanding of what I mean. Your born without choice, obligated to live and will someday die. Life is so unfair. I was watching a television show about a young guy who had suddenly got a disease that has left him bed ridden and unable to speak for life. When that show finished I changed the channel and a Hollywood star was having an interview about how successful they were etc. I thought to myself that is so unfair. Don't get me wrong I hope people have an excellent life but why do some have it bad and others don't?

 

Life is so fragile, you can get sick and die tomorrow or just be doing some work around the house have an accident and blind yourself for life. These types of things make me so sad. I hate this system in life. My goal in life is to find out what the truth is. If there is an answer out there it only makes sense to follow it. I feel so guilty these days just drinking a glass of water. I think that some poor people out there don't even have this. Is it their fault or is that just the way it is. For me living everyday is torture I hate all this crap. One kid is blessed with looks and brains while the other has major physical problems. How does that work? It's so unfair. Some babies are born, live a couple of days and then die. It sounds mean but they get the easy way out of life.

 

Human error causes alot of the problems in life. I hate the stuff ups I have made in the past, it makes me feel so down just thinking about them. What makes me feel more down is that in life I will make more stuff ups here and there, nobody is perfect. When you die do you just die? I have so many questions. I'm going crazy! When I'm asleep I'm happy because I'm not living as such. The time goes by and I don't even know. That is paradise! I feel as though all the money, friends and family in the world cant cover up these things I feel. They are in my face all the time. Do I have to just put up with it?

 

I really feel depressed about the things that happen to others. I don't want to witness all this stuff. Do I have a disorder? Am I a perfectionist? At the end of it all I appreciate everything I have because someone out there isn't as lucky as I am. To me dying looks like the only way out because all these things I have talked about will never change, its been going on like this for centuries. I would like to hear any comments that you might have. I want a way to work it all out.

 

Thanks for your time.

[sweetharmony]

I am not religious by any means, but sometimes I feel that "bad things happen to good people" because it sometimes teaches us lessons. It saddens me, but tragedies often bring family members closer . Also, we become more spiritual in desperation, and learn to appreciate the little things in life when we are in fear. I guess I look at life like a series of lessons. Sometimes it's difficult, but we have to make the best with what we have. This is my belief. I've been through depression. I've often thought of the same things you have. feeling helpless to change others' circumstances. Learn to appreciate what you have. Volunteer your time to others who aren't as fortunate. you might be surprised, but many people learn to appreciate what they have. some people who become paralyzed in a car accident may be overwhelmed with depression at first, but many learn to cope and find positives. it's all about the way we use the cards we 've been dealt. and we never do know. I'd like to believe in reincarnation or life after death. but the truth is, we will never know. there isn't a way, unfortunately. we must try to live our lvies as meaningful as possible and try and do good unto others. that's my philosophy. i hope you learn to cope with your intense sadness. think about joining the peace corps. i think an experience like that might be meaningful. just an idea that I've often thought about.

[michaeltinker]

yo love

 

life is both rezilent, and fragile,

 

you can kill some one with a finger strike, but you can also have your brain hanging out your face and make a full recovery. it is all about when your time is up, or when you want your time to end.

 

life is like a rollercoaster, don't quit when you still just in line.

 

READ MY OTHER POSTS AND TELL ME IF I AM MAKING sense TO YOU AND IF SO I HAVE MUCH MORE I CAN SHARE.

 

GO TO kazza and download Dr. depak chopra, and dr. wayne dyer, and maybe some dalia lama. audio books. easy learning and the result will be very enlightening.

 

let me know i would love to share the lessons i have been tought.

 

much love

michael

[Archith]

Hi Haywire,

I think I have posted a reply to one of your previous messages.

I have had thoughts like u are having too. But then I discovered Eckhart Tolle and his book "Power of Now". The mind(or ego) just loves to compare all the time. Stop comparing and don't take your thoughts too seriously...

Try link removed edited by Andrew Cohen. Its an excellent window to a spiritual world. Try visiting link removed too...

 

Cheers..

Archith

[Archith]

Hey Haywire,

Its me again. I was going thro Eckhart's book "Power of Now" and found something:

"Negativity ranges from irritation or impatience to fierce anger, from a depressed mood or sullen resentment to suicidal despair."

"Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry, or hard-done-by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane."

 

So, Haywire..just drop negativity like u would drop hot coal on your hands.

I don't know if I am violating copyright..but I'm sure the above quotes would make u understand what's happening with u and many others.

 

Cheers..

Archith

[the_peacemaker]

It seems to me that you're very unsatisfied with all the unfairness going on in life and you're trying to look for the true meaning of life, just who control birth and death and what is the meaning of our existence. These are difficult questions and i believe no one right now can provide you with a straight answer. i.e An apple is red. Regarding unfairness in life, take the people who are in say.. Africa who doesn't have enough food and water. What makes you think those people are suffering? To me, it's all relative. Probably in the eyes of those people, they're enjoying the best in the life time, having friends and family altogether, working hard physically to get what they need to live. Rather the business man with lots of money in a big city is not necessary the happiest man, nor a happy man. Every minute he could be worried about his finance in business, stock market.. or an uncurable sickness. If you stop comparing for a second and look deeper, each person is assigned with different responsibilities and happiness does not necessarily come from physical materials. I wouldn't say this world is 'fair', but at least most people should be thankful about their presense. It's you to control how much you want to enjoy the best out of this life, not some spiritual force.