Do you think this girl is interested in me? I am so bad at this when it is me. XD

[Jpo]

So there is this girl on my team at work and while we work "together" for a while, I never really talked to her that much because we didn't sit that close. Although we have we have always been friendly with each other, and I know everyone fairly well through team meetings/events or sometimes she has been there when a lot of us go out after work.

 

Anyway, recently our seats were moved and she sits right next to me. She was talking to me about online dating (I forget why) and asked how I would describe myself if you couldn't post a picture and what I would write for my personality summary. At first I answered sarcastically making a joke about how awesome I was, but then told her I would probably undersell myself a bit, because I would be afraid the girl would think I was this super great guy and be disappointed.

 

She responded that I was a super great guy, at which I started laughing, and then she said something like, "no seriously, any girl would love you.

 

Would you just say that just to be nice, or is that a sign of interest?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Hard to say. I could see myself easily saying this to both a guy I saw as a friend, and a guy I was interested in.

[Jpo]

...

 

That is not helpful.

 

Thanks though, that is kind of what I suspected the answer would be.

[Cognitive_Canine]

How did she say it?

 

Did she touch you at all when she said it? Was her body angled towards yours (legs crossed towards you, shoulders angled towards you)? Did she give you a flirty look?

[ProtestTheHero]

The first comment is good. She is fishing for information in a way that is subtle...she gets to talk to you and get to know a little bit more about the man that is Jpo and what Jpo thinks of himself.

 

The rest is good, too, but it's hard to gauge whether or not she's just coming to your rescue or is actually romantically interested. I hear the second comment all the time from people not at all interested in dating me, but you and I are very different (and I think this is what Debaser is alluding to, it can be used many ways).

 

In your position, I would ask her out and feel relatively confident that she'd say yes.

[greywolf]

Why don't you ask her out to find out?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'm also on the "ask her out and see" bandwagon.

[lila...]

Why don't you ask her out to find out?

 

I agree!! Come on jpo, go for it.

[Jpo]

How did she say it?

 

Did she touch you at all when she said it? Was her body angled towards yours (legs crossed towards you, shoulders angled towards you)? Did she give you a flirty look?

 

Uh, I cannot remember. I don't really notice those little details when people are talking to me. XD

 

She was completely facing me for sure though, and she didn't touch me, but there is enough distance between our work spaces that it would have seemed very forced if she did (we work in cubicles).

 

Why don't you ask her out to find out?

 

I probably will, eventually, but since we sit right next to each other at work, I would like to be fairly certain before/if I make any moves. I'm still not even sure I would want a work relationship.

[loulee]

She sounds interested to me. Her body language should speak volumes. regardless it is a lovely compliment. So when are you asking her out????

[greywolf]

 

I probably will, eventually, but since we sit right next to each other at work, I would like to be fairly certain before/if I make any moves. I'm still not even sure I would want a work relationship.

 

Why do you need to be certain first? If she says no, she says no.

[Cognitive_Canine]

There is always the chance that she's never thought of you that way and once you ask her out she'll think about and become interested after she finally entertains the idea.

 

That's happened to me a few times. I didn't become interested in a guy until he asked me out and I finally saw him that way.

[Jpo]

Why do you need to be certain first? If she says no, she says no.

 

Stop trying to make things so simple!

 

Really, it just seems like it could be kind of awkward if she says no.

[greywolf]

Stop trying to make things so simple!

 

Really, it just seems like it could be kind of awkward if she says no.

 

It'll only be awkward if you let it be.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Stop trying to make things so simple!

 

Really, it just seems like it could be kind of awkward if she says no.

 

It's really only awkward if you make it awkward.

 

And, even if it is awkward....better than it being regrettable for not making a move.

[ProtestTheHero]

It's really not that awkward. Just say no problem and then talk about something else or go take a piss or something.

 

She thinks you're a great guy, so even if she does say no she will do it nicely. No drinks in your face, no laughing, etc. It is a total win-win.

[Jpo]

There is always the chance that she's never thought of you that way and once you ask her out she'll think about and become interested after she finally entertains the idea.

 

That's happened to me a few times. I didn't become interested in a guy until he asked me out and I finally saw him that way.

 

Hm, that is interesting, I never thought about it that way.

 

The biggest thing I am worried about right now though is being in a work relationship. I would be seeing her a lot if we did start dating. I'm talking about sitting next to each other 4-8 hours a day. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that I literally do absolutely nothing at work beyond sit there (not because I'm lazy, because we have nothing to do - long story), so we would be interacting quite a bit.

[lila...]

Or you could say: "Well, would you love to be with me?" Kind of jokingly, that way you're kind of asking her out, but not really... just in case she's not interested hehe.

[Jpo]

Or you could say: "Well, would you love to be with me?" Kind of jokingly, that way you're kind of asking her out, but not really... just in case she's not interested hehe.

 

Haha, I like that. Sounds like something I would actually say.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Hm, that is interesting, I never thought about it that way.

 

The biggest thing I am worried about right now though is being in a work relationship. I would be seeing her a lot if we did start dating. I'm talking about sitting next to each other 4-8 hours a day. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that I literally do absolutely nothing at work beyond sit there (not because I'm lazy, because we have nothing to do - long story), so we would be interacting quite a bit.

 

Have you never seen "the office"?

 

I don't think it's that awkward.

 

If you do go out, try and keep business professional and I'm sure it won't matter much.

[Jpo]

Have you never seen "the office"?

 

I don't think it's that awkward.

 

If you do go out, try and keep business professional and I'm sure it won't matter much.

 

I love The Office.

 

You eNA ladies are going to get me into trouble, I think you convinced me to go for it next time I am at work.

[lila...]

Have you never seen "the office"?

 

I don't think it's that awkward.

 

If you do go out, try and keep business professional and I'm sure it won't matter much.

 

I agree. I compare it to dating a classmate. It's only awkward before it happens and you start thinking about it, but once it happens, everything seems to fall into place and going breezy That's if you keep work and the relationship apart.

[Jpo]

I agree. I compare it to dating a classmate. It's only awkward before it happens and you start thinking about it, but once it happens, everything seems to fall into place and going breezy That's if you keep work and the relationship apart.

 

Aren't you supposed to be in another thread right now posting your picture?

[Cognitive_Canine]

When my ex and I broke up, we were both in jazz band. Worse than that, we faced each other in class. Him on piano and me on trumpet.

 

Now, THAT'S awkward.

 

If I can handle having to be face to face with my ex (who dumped me the week before prom, the day I bought my prom dress, in an argument about prom, over myspace), you can deal with sitting in a cubicle (you have a wall between you) with a girl at work who said no to you for a date.

 

 

[lila...]

When my ex and I broke up, we were both in jazz band. Worse than that, we faced each in class. Him on piano and me on trumpet.

 

Now, THAT'S awkward.

 

If I can handle having to be face to face with my ex (who dumped me the week before prom, the day I bought my prom dress, in an argument about prom, over myspace), you can deal with sitting in a cubicle (you have a wall between you) with a girl at work who said no to you for a date.

 

 

 

You tell him!