Is this the real thing or totally wrong

[sasha1982]

I met this amazing guy through a friend just over 3 months ago.. We see eachother quite a bit anywhere from 4-6 times a week since we live close. He`s 34, I am 27.. I am very non-superficial, to me personality and how I click with someone is far more important than looks alone.. which is why in my past I have always dated men a little less in my league, however great personalities going for them. My current boyfriend is probably the best looking guy I`ve dated... he`s very in-shape does bodybuilding and takes amazing care of himself. He`s also the sweetest and most romantic man I`ve ever met... He is really thoughtful and sweet, tells me he cares about me alot, just the way he kisses and touches me is very passionate.. He will drive just to give me a hug or runs me a bubble bath and gives me a massage almost weekly... Sex life is great, we kiss amazingly he always touches my hair, face and just the way he looks at me is very very intense..

Sounds great right.. Well for me the problem is aside from our bedroom activities, cuddling and the emotional part of the relationship I don`t feel there is much there.... I still feel a nervous energy from him and feel it inside myself.. Sometimes on the phone I completely go silent as if I have nothing else to say.. I joke around alot, but I am nothing like my normal silly self around him... I feel held back or something... Like I can`t fully be myself... We carry conversations pretty well, but I don`t mind myself laughing as much as I`d like or clicking personality wise the way I may have with past partners.

Maybe we just need more time... We are completely comfortable sexually together, we get very intimate.. we have said I love you, him saying it first and I waited until I felt the time was right that I felt it as well... I feel something so strong for him, he makes my heart beat really fast and feel nervous sometimes... which is completely NOT normal for me after dating someone for 3 months! I think he feels the same because I sense he is a bit reserved around me... Maybe he doesn`t want to say the wrong things.. I am not sure.. As I mentioned, we don`t do a whole lot besides hang-in watch movies, sleepovers, go for food and that`s about it.. Maybe we need to start doing more fun activities together to lighten things up.. I`m not sure... I just feel something so intensely emotional that it`s scary and different for me.. I have never been in something like this before, my past relationships were more of a best-friend quality where we laughed and joked around a great deal.. No romance or passion like this one... that I am maybe freaking myself over it because it`s beautiful but makes me nervous..

 

Does this make any sense.. lol

[90_hour_sleep]

that makes some sense to me

 

you've never experienced this...so you're not really sure what to expect. i think if you're both open...this may be the time when you begin to have some more meaningful communication. there's a certain power in relationships...we naturally seek out people who will allow us to feel safe...that will allow us to heal past wounds (because we all have them).

 

is a part of you scared of the potential of this relationship? it may feel threatening...so your natural response is to become defensive...to protect yourself from possibly being hurt. most of the time...this is an unconscious process. it's something you've always done...so there's no reason you'd be aware of it.

[loulee]

that I am maybe freaking myself over it because it`s beautiful but makes me nervous..

 

Ditto! relax.. dont let your survival instincts take over...its all normal.healthy and kinda sweet..good luck with it..and yes get more active socially together..lack of mental stimulation can be a real killer... get out more and go do some exciting stuff together

[arcadefire]

I've been in a relationship with someone whom I've had excellent chemistry in the bedroom but not much else outside of it. Like your situation, conversations on the phone ends up with silence, even lunches and dinners can be difficult to hold a conversation. Eventually it fell apart.

 

Although it's great that you two share such a bond in bed, try to do activities outside of it. Talk more about yourselves, your goals, dreams, families, etc. Good luck! It sounds like a nice start to a relationship.

[mca1975]

Start acting like yourself!

 

I know what you mean, when you have been used to a different kind of love and now suddenly this is different.

 

Mine is the other way around though, I always felt nervous and totally uncomfortable with past boyfriends but now I am totally myself and its very, very comfortable, even a little less exciting, but still exciting, lol.

 

3 months is a marker where you do you feel like you need to show your trueself, this is very normal. Just decide to start opening up now and acting your true self, have a talk about it!