To see a therapist or not?? This is my question.

[JustmeIguess]

Some days I feel like a have a great life. But most days, I'm not happy at all. I have a 3 year old daughter who I love. I take very good care of her physically, but mentally I think I am depriving her. I don't get down and play with her, only watch. I talk to her until I get aggravated, then send her to play. I love for other kids to play with her so she has someone. I get agitated with her very easily, and resort to being mean. I feel like an awful mother every night after she goes to bed and I watch her sleep. I love her so much, really I do, but I just can't be that mom who does things with her child. I have tried really really hard. I remember when she was really young I was happy for other people to hold her and talk to her so she would be getting attention. Don't get me wrong, I don't totally ignore her, but I just feel that she isn't getting what she needs.

I've been married to the love of my life for 6 years now and don't know what I would do without him. He works and takes care of us. He is my best friend, my lover and an all around good guy. He keeps me "in reality" and if he's sick or not his usual happy self, I am just in total disarray. But I absolutely cannot stand his parents. I get physically sick to my stomach when I have to be around them. They are a pain in the rump all around. They pack tales, are selfish, think they are better than everyone else, etc. And it's getting to the point where I DO NOT want to be around them at all. But they are my husband's parents.....

There are my parents. They are sweet people, especially my dad. My mom on the other hand is alot like me. We argue like sisters. Here lately though I can't even talk to her without causing an argument.

I just feel like I'm never happy. I have good moments, but they are short-lived. I feel like I can't keep friends. And then there's times that I don't want friends. But then at the same time I feel so alone. Is it all in my head or what? Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me, but then I think i am just being a Hypochondriac. I have anger issues, and resort to being hurtful to others when I think they are criticizing me or trying to hurt my feelings. I really am a good person. That part of me is hiding somewhere deep inside. I know this is a rambling mess, but it's late and I'm aggravated, so sorry to those who read.

[shera]

I think therapy could definitely help. The irritability, the anger are things that you could talk to a therapist about and see what's really going on.

[JustmeIguess]

I kinda felt that maybe it could. I just keep telling myself that it's just me feeling sorry for myself. But it's not getting any better. I have no want to do anything but spend money. Buying things makes me feel better no matter what it is that I buy. I've noticed this has gotten worse in the past couple months...

[shera]

Well shopping is always a good (albeit not healthy) distraction from life...

Have you ever been to counselling before?

[JustmeIguess]

I went twice and then decided it wasn't doing anything. That goes back to me thinking that I'm just feeling sorry for myself I guess. Just wanted to know if others do this too. But I am considering therapy again and I want to actually give it a good try this time. I took Zoloft for about 3 months and decided I didn't need it either.

[waveseer]

Counselors can definitely help.

[shera]

Counselling is a process and two visits will not show results.

You have to be aware that often when you go for counselling you feel worse before you feel better. You're bringing up and dealing with a lot of things that might have been buried or that you're not aware of.

The most important thing is to look for someone you connect with, someone you feel safe with and can build a relationship with.

Just know you can shop around for a therapist...

and be patient and give it some time...

[JustmeIguess]

Thanks. There aren't a whole lot of options for counselling where I live (It's rural, but I love it.) but luckily I liked the lady I went to before. She made me feel comfortable. I'm thinking of setting up an appointment soon. I guess I just wanted someone's unbiased opinion of whether I'm being ridiculous. I don't ask anyone in my family about it besides my husband. Everytime I want to mention it to him I feel like he will think I am craving attention or that I am crazy. He has NEVER given me a reason to feel this way. I just make that up and agree with myself.

[waveseer]

Do it tomorrow, do it for your daughter if for no other reason.

[JustmeIguess]

I know I should if not to be able to connect and be a real mom. I know you guys probably think I am awful, but I swear I am good to her. She's healthy and happy. She loves me and tells me so all the time. Wouldn't she hate me if I was mean to her? I'd like to think so.

[yonkeehoi]

Perhaps you hit on something when you mentioned your mom. Often problems we have today are rooted in wounds from the past that remain unattended. This isn't deep, deep lay on the shrink's couch and curse your mommy stuff. With the help of a therapist who would help you explore your inner self, you may very well find that simply by realizing what has caused you some pain helps to diminish it or at least to put it in perspective. Doesn't happen in two sessons either. You have to be patient with your therapist and with yourself. Over a period of weeks the answers tend to present themselves. Then at least you have a much clearer picture of what you're dealing with.

[JustmeIguess]

I think I mostly went into it with an attitude of thinking it wouldn't help, or that it wasn't normal. It isn't a go to method in these parts.

[Mar1e]

A therapist sounds like a good idea. I would go to the doctors too, could be hormones or a vitamin thing.

[JustmeIguess]

My hormones and thyroids have been checked several times. I was put on Zoloft for my nerves and anxiety, but couldn't tell a difference and quit taking it. Thanks for the advice though. ;-)

[JustmeIguess]

I have made an appointment. Have to wait until the 25th to go. Currently in the process of trying to talk myself out of going. Thankfully I'm not winning yet.

[waveseer]

Good job! You will not regret seeking help.

[JustmeIguess]

Thanks..

[3boys]

If you're not totally against medication, you might want to try something different. Sometimes it takes 2-3 (or more) attempts before you find one that works. Also keep in mind that medication does not necessarily have to be a permanent thing. Some people will try to talk you out of it, but remember that not everyone reacts to medication the same way and it's something that YOU have to decide.

 

Good luck with the counseling...I hope you don't succeed in talking yourself out of it

[Mar1e]

On a new journey, for I have had a few things happen in my life that has sent it on a spiral out of control in grief and stress. I am going to see a therapist!!! The initial intake was not a hard as I feared, I am going to my first session on Thursday! Thanks for posting your message, it helped me realize that sometimes we cannot do things alone "all" the time. My children need me to be the best I can be. P.S. So do I!!!