Mustang Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 It works. Just recently, I was seeing a girl who was really into me, led me on and then suddenly backed right off, ignored me and then after a bit of nudging eventually gave me a bunch of cliches (it's not you, I'm not looking for anything with anyone right now, let's be friends). I turned it round on her by basically saying that she was doing me a favour, I have things in my life to sort out that are more important and I ended by saying that I'm not the sort of person to hang around as a friend when I'm rejected. She is now practically begging me to remain friends with her and trying to justify and explain herself even more. A few days ago, she was ignoring me in the hope I'd get the message, now she wants to keep me in her life! So now I feel like I have the power. I feel like I've rejected her for how she treated me and it feels so much better than wondering what's wrong with me, if there's someone else, etc. I encourage you guys to do the same thing. Turn the tables a little. It makes you feel better to rise above it and walk away from someone who is messing you about. Sometimes when they know you want them back, they have no need to speak to you. It's only when you take away their comfort that they panic and realise the consequences of their actions. I'm not saying it works to bring them back to you, but it's nice to have an ego boost from them after they've blown you out. Just say you're not happy with their behaviour, agree with the break up/their decision and tell them you are walking away. It works. Look at my thread on the dating forum with more info. It's confusing as hell but it makes me feel so much better than me chasing her. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 You went on some dates and she decided she didn't want to keep it going, right? Assuming you want to date her...what has changed? Do you really want her around as a friend? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 It may work in the short run. But, a power struggle is not stable. Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I agree with debaser, power struggles are definitely not stable! Those and games, not cool and completely exhausting. I wish people could just say what they mean and mean what they say! Maybe she really was unsure of what she wanted, is it so bad that shes possibly changed her mind, i mean it wasnt very long into it....... Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Yes the ball is in your court for now. Just remember what debaser said. A power struggle is not stable. So the moment you give too much slack, the ball will be in her court. Link to comment
Perfection Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I wish people could just say what they mean and mean what they say! truer words have rarely been spoken. life would be so much simpler if this was the case.. Link to comment
Mustang Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 All I'm saying is that for healing purposes, it's sometimes better to make them see that they've lost you. Rather than you losing them with them knowing that you still want them. It makes it easier for the rejected person to move on by turning things around a bit. It's almost like a self fulfilling prophecy. It sure is confusing though! Two days ago, this girl was ignoring me and I had no idea why. She was really interested in me one minute and then not the next. Now I've turned it around and said that I don't remain friends with people that reject me, she is practically begging me to remain friends with her, she's apologising and explaining her reasoning to me. I don't get what she wants! But this sort of confusion is better than me sitting here asking what the hell I did wrong, why she changed her mind, etc. At least this way I feel like I'm in control of the situation. Link to comment
Mustang Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 I wish people could just say what they mean and mean what they say! Oh believe me, I agree. But if you can't beat them, join them. Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 truer words have rarely been spoken. life would be so much simpler if this was the case.. Absolutely! Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Oh believe me, I agree. But if you can't beat them, join them. I know exactly what you mean ive been in your position before and its very difficult not to get drawn into games especially when personal pride is at stake, in the end though its all just, well, crap....power struggle after power struggle, * * * for tat, its never a real realationship Link to comment
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