Ex has just contacted her...........

[britgirl]

Hi Guys

 

My friend needs some good advise here...........she is on Day 49 of the 60 Day No Contact rule (we met up on a breakup group) and she has just received an email from her ex yesterday. Just says......Happy Easter.....and that's it......should she reply with a Happy Easter right back? Or just ignore it? She was doing pretty good with the No Contact thing but this has set her right off again....she doesn't know what to do. She feels it is impolite not to reply.

 

Is he just putting out feelers do you think to see how she will react?

 

Britgirl on Day 51 and nobody has contacted me.....

[Hopingpraying]

I did not realize there was a specific time frame for no contact?? I though each person was different on what points they can handle what.

 

As for your friends situation I think she shouldn't reply. There is no way for him to know whether she has checked his email or read it, unless he attached some type of notification with it, which most people don't do. So she can ignore it and no need to feel rude. However, if she feels she can just reply back Thanks, you too. And leave it at that and be okay with it then go for it. No contact basically is just a way for her to facilitate her healing which is why I think it is bad to just set a 60 day time limit and think everything will be okay after that. Based on you saying this has set her off again then I think replying would not be the correct course of action.

 

Maybe in another month or two.

 

Hope this helps

[britgirl]

Thanks Hoping and Praying,

 

I know she welcomes all views on what to do next. So just for today....you know one day at a time.......she has decided not to answer him.

 

I got the 60 day no contact rule from another site.....and I suppose I thought you guys on here were all talking about the same thing........

 

It was from this website

 

link removed

 

 

The 60-Day Rule: If you are the one being neglected or left, your partner will contact you within 60-days if they really do love and want you.

 

According to Dr. Pat Allen, men generally need this much time to realize how they really feel about you. During this time, if children or your job are not an issue, DO NOT contact your former partner in any way. Do not write, call, e-mail, ask about, drive by their home, workplace, and hangouts or arrange to bump into them. Each time you do, you will prolong the denial phase several weeks or even months. Prolong the phase and you'll prolong the agony.

 

Make a note of each time you make an excuse for your partner's negative behavior toward you

 

Ask your friends to remind you each time you 'romanticize' the ended relationship

 

Make a list in writing of all of the times your partner's behavior hurt you. Pull it out and read it three times a day.

 

Take yourself out of the picture. What type of advice would you give your brother, sister, close friend or child if they were experiencing the relationship instead of you?

 

Britgirl

 

[Hopingpraying]

It all sounds good, but if you just put it at 60 days and that other person doesn't call you are just setting yourself up for more disappointment. I don't know how anyone can make a wide statement like that. I just like to think of no-contact as something you do until you feel you could talk to the EX without being all emotional and breaking down into a pile of quivering humanity.

 

Thats what no-contact means too me.... Good luck in the adventure called life!!