Ex girlfriends things...

[Trinny]

I'm round my partners for the week. (long distance relationship) and he's had to work today.

 

So I've been left in his house alone. He said I can use his laptop, play on his games, look through his dvds etc.

 

So I thought I'd put a film on, and as I was looking through his collection, I saw a CD case. I hate to think I was snooping, but I looked at it seeing as it was in a pile of DVDs.

 

And I found that it was a cd made by his ex. A collection of romantic songs, loving words etc.

 

A little background about his ex: she cheated on him quite a lot, and he took her back every time. She then left him for her religion.

 

He's assured me in the past that there is no way he'd get back together with her and he hates her for what she did to him. And I trust him totally when he says this.

 

So should I be upset and hurt that he's kept this cd? And god knows what else of hers?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I have, literally, dozens of cd's made by my ex boyfriend.

 

But, even "our songs" don't remind me of him at all.

 

It's nothing.

[SapphireNoir10]

I have CD's made by ex boyfriends too. I like the music on them. Theres no sentimental meanings.

 

Unless you find some sort of shrine, or her underwear or naked pictures I wouldnt be TOO worried

[rikka]

It has been said time and time again “exes are exes for a reason”. You mentioned that he has no desire to reconcile with her again – and that you believe that. To him it is probably just music, or something he overlooked. I would not take it personally or a sign of anything. Like debaser wolf, I have a few cd’s made for me by exes. I kept them because a) it was just a disc and b) I generally tended to like the songs on them.

 

 

Unless you find some sort of shrine, or her underwear or naked pictures I wouldnt be TOO worried

 

Yeah, what she said!

[Cognitive_Canine]

My ex was the one that got me into a lot of the bands that I love today. So, I listen to those cd's a lot. ha.

[arcadefire]

If you find more than one thing from his ex-gf, I would tell him about it nicely. For example, "Hey, I noticed you have some things left from your ex-gf. It would mean a lot to me if you clean them out since these things have no place in our relationship now." If he really cares about you, he would do it because by now it would mean nothing to him anyway.

[Cognitive_Canine]

If you find more than one thing from his ex-gf, I would tell him about it nicely. For example, "Hey, I noticed you have some things left from your ex-gf. It would mean a lot to me if you clean them out since these things have no place in our relationship now." If he really cares about you, he would do it because by now it would mean nothing to him anyway.

 

I think that's kind of controlling, in my opinion.

 

I wouldn't throw out my cd's just because an ex bought them or burned them for me.

[rikka]

If you find more than one thing from his ex-gf, I would tell him about it nicely. For example, "Hey, I noticed you have some things left from your ex-gf. It would mean a lot to me if you clean them out since these things have no place in our relationship now." If he really cares about you, he would do it because by now it would mean nothing to him anyway.

 

I don't really think this is necessary, and like debaser wolf suggested it is a bit controlling. It is also giving WAY to much power to inanimate objects. It would be different if they were senitmental things (old clothes, photos on display.... I don't know I can't really think of what could be that significant). They are just things. He is not still connected with his ex, he is not holding on for some reconcilliation (at least I don't think). They are just cd's or books or movies or a sweater she bought him. Life goes on after a relationship ends and I would never expect someone to purge everything that has been given to them by an ex. Then again, I just see them as things.