kevinm Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I hate dating. I hate it. Everything about it. All the games people play... setting up little "tests" to see how their potential mate will respond. It's a joke. I don't know, maybe I'm dumb, but I feel it takes real time to get to know someone well... maybe a year or more. And to start down that path, and then be shot down because you didn't pass someones little test is just childish to me. Is it not acceptable to have differences with people? Can one answer be the end all? Can one test provide all the information one needs to make a determination of compatibility? Personally I look for patterns, not isolated incidents. I hate dating. I'm going to stop and just resign myself to a life as a hermit. -Kevin Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 hmmm. i guess we all have certain information we want to know right off the bat to keep us interested. for me, usually, brunette #1, then stuff like funny/sarcastic, into fitness, in shape, into their family, etc. if some of those things are off i'd have to evaluate how attracted i am to them and maybe let one of those slide. but some are set in stone. if i find out they are boring, no way. if they don't laugh much or get my humor, bye. stuff like that. it's not really a test, it's more like a checklist. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I think you need to go to hawaii and take a break from it all. Link to comment
Tarkan Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Does it really have to be a test like you call it ? Maybe it's just your perspective on things. You could just call it "hanging out together" instead of "date" and do, you know ... stuff. Just see if you feel it, is there a click or something. Doing the most casual things is often a good way too learn about eachother. I wouldn't take the act called "dating" too seriously anyway .. it all sounds so official and serious lol. When I read some topics it does indeed sound like a jobinterview. You know what ? Your test could be to see if the person tests you. If she tests you --> bye Link to comment
ays Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Oh God, I really hate dating too. I prefer job interviews. I find them agony and rarely enjoy them and i'm sick of the excuses and games. I got dumped by a guy once who then kept texting me to go back with him. I mean why dump me so. It's worse than work. Link to comment
kevinm Posted July 24, 2009 Author Share Posted July 24, 2009 Yeah, I get what you're saying Ghost. Okay, a little more background maybe is in order. So this woman and I talk on a dating site. We've been having good conversations, things are going smoothly and we even set up a date. I have to break the date off because of my ankle injury, but we still continue to exchange e-mails. Today she writes and asks me what I think about cosmetic surgery... boob jobs, face lifts, nose jobs, etc. I tell her basically that I think there's a fine line. While I'm all for building self esteem, for someone to go though all sorts of surgery to make themselves more "attractive" seems kinda strange and makes me wonder about what's going through that persons head. After all, there is always someone out there who is going to find us attractive and that it would be nice to have someone be attracted to ME and not a cosmetically altered ME. She writes back saying: "I really want my partner to be ok with choices others make that don't negatively affect anyone." Huh? Okay. And the problem is???? Am I missing something here? Someone please help. -Kevin Link to comment
kevinm Posted July 24, 2009 Author Share Posted July 24, 2009 I think you need to go to hawaii and take a break from it all. Ha... maybe. There's another story to that too Debaser. I'll post that one later tonight maybe... she's turning out to be a real "winner" again making me want to give up on looking for someone. -Kevin Link to comment
odile Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 It sounds like she's probably had some 'work' done, and is worried that you'll judge her for it. Link to comment
Dubb Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Sounds like she may have some self esteem issues. I hear that can be pretty common on a dating site. That's a pretty odd reply she gave you. Really unnecessary. I would not react to it in anyway. Just wait a bit and start a new conversation. Get into the habit of leading the conversations anyway. That way you can avoid stuff like that. When you guys go out look for red flags. If she talks negative about her looks, life, etc... I just get the vibe it's heading there even with the little info you posted. Keep us updated. Link to comment
tastytoothpaste Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 lol easy there, Kev. She didn't cut you off or say she didn't wanna talk anymore. Her message is such a bigger deal in your head than it really is. Deep breaths buddy, wooosahhh Link to comment
kevinm Posted July 24, 2009 Author Share Posted July 24, 2009 lol easy there, Kev. She didn't cut you off or say she didn't wanna talk anymore. Her message is such a bigger deal in your head than it really is. Deep breaths buddy, wooosahhh Nope, sorry, incorrect answer. She definitely cut me off. Last thing she said: "take care. we'll both find someone right" -Kevin Link to comment
Dubb Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Nope, sorry, incorrect answer. She definitely cut me off. Last thing she said: "take care. we'll both find someone right" -Kevin Just say no problem(or nothing at all) and be done with it. Link to comment
tastytoothpaste Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Nope, sorry, incorrect answer. She definitely cut me off. Last thing she said: "take care. we'll both find someone right" -Kevin Ouch! lol so much for cushioning the blow. Oh well, screw it. You're on a dating site. Sooooo many fishies. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I hate dating, too. And then when I finally do meet someone that I feel a connection with, they change their minds so quickly. I will never understand people and how their emotions can be so fleeting. Link to comment
RomanticAthart Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I hate dating, too. And then when I finally do meet someone that I feel a connection with, they change their minds so quickly. I will never understand people and how their emotions can be so fleeting. I know what you mean.. I mean I want to go on a date and just be Link to comment
RomanticAthart Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Oh, I know Misskitty.. I just want to go out on a date and be MYSELF and enjoy the time I spend with someone, not be always "worrying" that I am not living up to their expectations! Sounds like she DID have a bit of cosmetic surgery done already Kevinm.. otherwise, I have a feeling that she would not have made such a strange off-the-wall statement! You probably dodged a bullet, but that is precisely what I HATE about online dating.. You get your hopes built up before you even meet the person and spend lots of hours trying to get to know that person, only to be shot down or just have them ignore you period after awhile... Link to comment
Timbone Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 "I just want to go out on a date and be MYSELF and enjoy the time I spend with someone, not be always "worrying" that I am not living up to their expectations!" I decided that I am just going to be myself and not worry about what the potential date thinks of me. If I'm living up to their expectations then me not being myself isn't going to make me happy, so where's the sense in that? As Hogarth Hughes from the film Iron Giant said, "You are who you choose to be!" If your potential relationship doesn't like who you are when you're being yourself, well, screw 'em. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I never been out on a date yet, but dating sometimes seems to be overrated. Link to comment
eonsunshine Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 ahh.. dating is so much work. choose what to wear. place to go. what to eat. what to talk about. afraid says something wrong. etc etc. i hate dating, but guess we have to, if we want to find someone. Link to comment
mmike Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I think you need to go to hawaii and take a break from it all. Yeah, sounds good Link to comment
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