How long do you wait?

[ragdoll18]

It seems that most people who wait are doing it for two reasons. They're either not comfortable with having sex with someone who they don't have feelings for, or the longer someone waits the more likely they'll stick around after sex.

 

Personally, I would need to know the guy at least for a few days before I sleep with him so no one night stands for me. However I don't need to have a deep emotional connection with someone before I sleep with them. I have slept with a guy on the second date and also slept with my current boyfriend after a few weeks of knowing him. I do not get attached to people quickly, so if a guy leaves me after sex I would just move on. If a guy looses respect for me because I slept with him so soon which is the same thing he did, then he's a hypocrite and I don't want to be with a person like that.

[shadesofmediocrity]

For me it is a comfort thing, and I really do prefer some sort of emotional connection! I'd really like to avoid being used and I just...take it pretty seriously I guess. I want to KNOW the person first.

It definitely isn't an exact science, though.

[aura37]

I always try to give myself a time frame before giving it for the first time but it never happens that way. I start off strong if I'm comfortable with him and we just hit it off as soon as we both are ready (could be a day or a week, whatever).

[itsallgrand]

I take it on a case by case basis. Tend to wait until I've gotten to know the person enough to feel comfortable and know it is something I really want to do.

 

My only real rule is with myself, and I ask myself "If after we do this, am I ok with whatever may happen?". If the answer is yes, then all is good.

 

What matters to me is knowing I'm doing it for the right reasons. What the "right" reasons are depends on what I am wanting, needing, and am prepared to handle.

 

It's worked for me. I've not woken up ever feeling badly about myself for sleeping with someone. Not ever that I can remember! No regrets if you are true with yourself.

[WorriedLadyUK]

I've had long term relationships which began with us having sex on the first date. However, despite that, the way I would nowadays tell a guy I am serious is by NOT doing so. Maybe on the 3rd.