Imissher Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hi everyone, I have some trouble with my jealousy. I get very uncomfortable with my girlfriend talking to other guys or having guy friends. I have never told her to not spend time with them though. I realize in my situation that would be hypocritical since I have have girl friends. She says she loves me and does not ever think of them as more than friends. I believe her, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I really hope you all have suggestions to help me. I do not want to be rude to her (its not fair), and I don't want to always be worrying about the small things in life when I have a great relationship in my life. What do you recommend? I'd like to clarify again, I never once have told her to not talk to her guy friends. I have kind of just kept the uncomfortable feelings inside of me. Thanks! Link to comment
waveseer Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 My suggestion is to pick apart your uncomfortable feelings. What exactly are you afraid of? Link to comment
Circe Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I recommend you focus on what you said - that it would be hypocritical because you have female friends too. I think that feeling of hypocricy is a good guide as to when you are expecting too much of your partner and when it's fair enough. Not the pefect guide.. but a good starting point. How would you feel if you werent allowed to have female friends anymore? You might be prepared to make that sacrifice but how would you really feel about it? Don't you think it would hurt your relationship in the end because you felt like you were making a big sacrifice you might come to resent? Or just because you didnt feel free anymore? Love should make you feel free. Jealousy is understandable you just have to keep a tight check on when its reasonable and when its not. Link to comment
Imissher Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 My suggestion is to pick apart your uncomfortable feelings. What exactly are you afraid of? I believe a lot of it could be self confidence I guess. I am not an ugly guy (not hot or anything though) I'm 6'4 215 lbs, I guess thats ok for the height. I just really love this girl and I feel like maybe some days I am not good enough for her. She never flirts with her guy friends. I have met then, and we have gone out on group dates or something like this before. I just think some days she will find someone that she thinks is ''better''. Link to comment
waveseer Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I believe a lot of it could be self confidence I guess. I am not an ugly guy (not hot or anything though) I'm 6'4 215 lbs, I guess thats ok for the height. I just really love this girl and I feel like maybe some days I am not good enough for her. She never flirts with her guy friends. I have met then, and we have gone out on group dates or something like this before. I just think some days she will find someone that she thinks is ''better''. That's really good stuff to air out and release. You are good enough and you need to train yourself to believe it. What qualities could a man have that would make her think he's better (in your estimation)? Link to comment
Imissher Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 That's really good stuff to air out and release. You are good enough and you need to train yourself to believe it. What qualities could a man have that would make her think he's better (in your estimation)? Maybe if she found a better looking guy. I don't want to make it out like I am some hideous monster, but I'm not some pretty boy model. There was an incident that happened when I was about 12-13 that left my body with quite a few disgusting scars. I wish I could get rid of them but the doctor already told me it would be very difficult. I'm not fat, but I don't even want to have my shirt off because of all of these scars. Some go from my stomach to my back. She always acts like she wants to be around me, she calls me so many times a day its hard to keep up. Texts me, emails me, ect. I just feel like my body may not be good enough. Link to comment
waveseer Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Maybe if she found a better looking guy. I don't want to make it out like I am some hideous monster, but I'm not some pretty boy model. There was an incident that happened when I was about 12-13 that left my body with quite a few disgusting scars. I wish I could get rid of them but the doctor already told me it would be very difficult. I'm not fat, but I don't even want to have my shirt off because of all of these scars. Some go from my stomach to my back. She always acts like she wants to be around me, she calls me so many times a day its hard to keep up. Texts me, emails me, ect. I just feel like my body may not be good enough. Is she physically affectionate and demonstrative? Has she given you any indication that she is turned off by your body? I think you have manufactured this fear because you haven't fully accepted how you look inside yourself. Work on that. Scars are hot because they make us unique and their stories have partially made us who we are. Link to comment
Imissher Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 Is she physically affectionate and demonstrative? Has she given you any indication that she is turned off by your body? I think you have manufactured this fear because you haven't fully accepted how you look inside yourself. Work on that. Scars are hot because they make us unique and their stories have partially made us who we are. She is always affectionate with me. She always kisses me and hugs me. She always wants to make love. She has been very passionate as long as we've been together. These scars are horrible. They came from a very bad day, and sadly they will be part of my life forever. :sad: Link to comment
waveseer Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 She is always affectionate with me. She always kisses me and hugs me. She always wants to make love. She has been very passionate as long as we've been together. These scars are horrible. They came from a very bad day, and sadly they will be part of my life forever. Then she for sure has no problem with your scars. The scars are part of who you are, accept them and love yourself. Link to comment
Imissher Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 Then she for sure has no problem with your scars. The scars are part of who you are, accept them and love yourself. I appreciate the feedback. I'll try to just relax and let life take its course. Things are good now. Link to comment
waveseer Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I appreciate the feedback. I'll try to just relax and let life take its course. Things are good now. Whenever you start to get anxious just remind yourself how much she digs you. And you're welcome. Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Don't worry friend...my ex was in an accident in his teens and had surgery on his eyelid, which he lost some of his eyelashes and you notice the difference in his eyes, but I still loved him regardless... friend, inside or out we all have some scars If you think to much about it she will begin to feel your insecurity and that is where the problem may start...she loves you...be happy...and try not to worry over things you cannot change. Hope this helps. Link to comment
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