Is it so easy to move on?

[Blanche1980]

I split up with my fiancee a week ago. We are still living together,he sleeps ont he couch and me on the bed. I'm in the process of moving out. yesterday he went out to a drinks gathering at his posh social club, i knew he was going as I saw a flyer, the drinks were over at 9.30pm but he got home at midnight, it's about an hour journey by bus so im assuming he left by 11pm. This morning,i say in between his agenda that he had a flyer for a black tie event at the same place "summer crush under 35's" that he probably got from the party yesterday. Behind the flyer , a girl had written her email address. This happened yesterday, i know he was with her but was it just a contact , someone he just met at the party? or is he trying to date again? is it sooo easy? im totally rotten but he seems fine and the fact that he was there at a party with her while i was totally miserable thinking in him makes it worst. I can't move on like that , peiople tell me go out and meet someone yourslef but i don't feel like it.

 

shall i check his phone see if they are in contact and he pursuing her already or will this be unhealthy for me?when i saw the name and surname of the woman i was devastated, i checked her on gogole and everything and saw her photo. I guess htis is obssesive but it did happen. I feel like i want to move out asap not to know what he is up to or not

[ragdoll18]

Everyone deals with break ups differently, and they accept the break up at different times. It's possible that he has accepted that you guys are broken up and is trying to move on and this is his way to deal with it. When me and my ex broke up, I was not the kind of person to really dwell on it or cry. I kept myself busy everyday and hid a lot of my pain. To a lot of people it looked like I just moved on right away and was over it, but it was just my way of coping. Unless he was already checked out of the relationship long before you guys broke up, I highly doubt that he is completely over the relationship and he's probably just trying to cope.

 

I would suggest going NC. I believe that any contact just prolongs the pain and and prevents you from getting over him. I would not suggest looking at his phone and moving out asap.

[Lauren.xo]

Hello. I would not look into this girl. People deal with breakups in different ways. Some just want to fill the empty void right away. He probably flirted but I doubt anything will come from it because you can't force yourself to like someone. It comes in time. I would check nothing. The more you check the harder and stronger the pain will be. What you don't know can't hurt you. I'm not ready to date either, but I don't tell my ex this.. As far as he knows I could be. Just think about you, go NC and don't worry about him-as hard as that is. Let him do what he wants to do, no spying or calling him out will stop him. If he can move on that fast.. Do you really want to be with a guy like that? Especially since you were planning on getting married? You know your better then that! Just keep your head up, do NC to the best of your ability and start focusing on yourself! Goodluck. Stay strong. Walk with your dignity and self respect. That is the best way to "move on".

[Blanche1980]

Hello,

 

I always read in this blog about NC but have no idea what that is, can someone explain?

As for him, yes, I guess he flirted but even though it hurts that someone can do something like that even though we are still in the process of splitting up, I cant really control him anymore. Its tempting to check his phone, etc but thats why i have to move out asap, not to know what he does , etc. Ignorance is bliss sometimes, the less we know the more unaware of things , the better.

 

He might sleep around, i don't know, i guess if he eventually comes running back to me, then that's because he really wants to and f he doesn't its because he doesn't want me anymore. Yesterday I went out and I realised i could meet someone else too, it's just m not ready yet