Unreasonable?

[COtuner]

That's why I'm saying this is spiteful anger and throwing everything out just isn't IMO the best thing to do. This kind of thing is common after a breakup and yes, inevitably you feel incredibly stupid about it once the adrenaline and the anger burns off in a month or so.

 

I personallly would pay the $50 and mail it (my own way of dealing) But you have to work through it in your own way. I've boxed the little bit of my ex's stuff up and stuck it in a storage closet for now. If he wants it back, he can come get it while I'm gone. If not, I'll give it six months and then toss it.

[chewy21]

You guys were right. I was just angry. I still am, but I've calmed down enough now to see where I might regret this later on.

 

Here's the message I sent her this morning:

 

 

 

Thanks for talking me out of something I may have regretted. I don't care what she thinks about me, but I do care what I think about me. I'm not the kind of guy who does that.

[COtuner]

You're welcome. Only know it because I have been there and it prolongs the pain to start kicking yourself later for things you did while you were in the height of emotions.

[CRGMEM]

Still, it was good to let your feelings out on paper...we all need to vent. Destroy it now!

[PsychGirly]

With all due respect, I can kind of now understand why she's avoiding meeting up with you.

 

You're extremely negative towards her.

 

Even if she did leave you to be with someone else, that was her decision & her right. There's no point in constantly demeaning her ("You don't deserve how forgiving I'm being", "let your cowardice give me something to feel bad about", "you are a coward", "last time you get to walk on me so enjoy it", "Devoid of Respect for You"). This is ALL so unnecessary.

 

I know you're still hurting, & I understand why it's so difficult to overcome, but all this hatred you show towards her isn't going to change the fact that she left, & it definitely isn't going to fix anything between you two.

 

Again, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, but there's a difference between feeling it, & actually showing it.

[chewy21]

With all due respect, I can kind of now understand why she's avoiding meeting up with you.

 

You're extremely negative towards her.

 

I haven't been until last night. She refused to meet up with me long before I ever got nasty with her.

 

I haven't said one unkind word to her since the night we broke up. Not even when I found out about the other guy. You say that I'm constantly berating her, but I'm not, and I haven't been. I'm just fed up with taking everything she dishes out without a peep. This whole event was the first and last time I'm going to let those negative feelings be known to her.

 

Like I said, this whole thing wasn't just about her refusing to come and meet me... it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

[PsychGirly]

I haven't been until last night. She refused to meet up with me long before I ever got nasty with her.

 

I haven't said one unkind word to her since the night we broke up. Not even when I found out about the other guy. You say that I'm constantly berating her, but I'm not, and I haven't been. I'm just fed up with taking everything she dishes out without a peep. This whole event was the first and last time I'm going to let those negative feelings be known to her.

 

Like I said, this whole thing wasn't just about her refusing to come and meet me... it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

I understand. Just make sure that even if she replies to that message, you don't continue with the negativity.

 

Just let it go & show her that you're ready to move on.

[Dancergirl425]

you're not asking too much. Tell her either you do it your way or she can come pick it up from your house. You're doing her a favor...you should be comfortable in the situation. You're not planning on getting back together so it shouldn't matter if you make her mad by requesting to meet somewhere else.

[COtuner]

He made a mistake - it's a lot like drunk dialing - some things you shouldn't do when you're hyped on strong emotions of any sort. Good or bad. We've all been there, I'm sure, and given the choice, it's easier to live with the angry email, I think.

[chewy21]

you're not asking too much. Tell her either you do it your way or she can come pick it up from your house. You're doing her a favor...you should be comfortable in the situation. You're not planning on getting back together so it shouldn't matter if you make her mad by requesting to meet somewhere else.

 

I see it exactly the same way, Dancergirl.

 

However, I also see that I have nowhere to continue storing her stuff, and that throwing it away would make me feel bad about myself later.

 

I'm just going to drop it off. After what happened with us last night, I'm sure that neither of us wants to have a talk anymore. So I'll silently give her stuff to her, and get mine from her, get in the car, and leave. And that will be the last time I have to see her. It disppoints me that this got so out of hand... I really feel that I wasn't asking alot of her after everything I had done for her already. But this just serves to reinforce my need to get on with my life. She was like a robot on the phone and in the messages she sent me. There's obviously nothing there anymore.

 

Thanks for your responses, guys.

[Capricorn3]

I'm just going to drop it off. So I'll silently give her stuff to her, and get mine from her, get in the car, and leave. It disppoints me that this got so out of hand...

Glad to see you're finally seeing the sense in it all. I've said all along - simply drop it off and leave. So easy and no drama. All the other stuff that happened overnight could have been avoided and was so unnecessary.

Drop it off and be done with it.

[journeynow]

I hope it goes ok, it can't be easy for you going over there. I know you've made up your mind to deliver it, and that sounds like a good decision, so this is a moot point, but another option is to tell her you'll donate it to charity, and send her the receipt so she can write it off. Easier for you, less emotional, and someone (the charity) benefits, and you're all good guys in the end.