can friends be replaced??

[divz21]

Hey guys... this is a random and weird problem.. but its to do with the guy i love with our mutual friend..

Our mutual friend who is a girl has found a guy and is currently going out with this guy who has waited to be with her for 8 months as she was studying at university. Our mutual girl friend is very close to both of us.. however my guy feels shes not going to hang around with us much as she has a new guy in her life.. she has said that things wont change as much, she values our friendship and isnt the kind of person to do that..

However it seems my guy is trying to replace her with another mutual friend by not making an effort as much.. but asking the other girl to come round.. the other mutual friend has only become close after a month or so.. weird as my guy says its hard to trust and be friends with girls... any suggesstions on what i can do to help???

[brahman]

any suggesstions on what i can do to help???

 

I don't think you should do much at all. Be supportive is about it. What it sounds like he is going through is an emotional thing he needs to learn how to deal with. I have been there before, loosing friends you know even though there is no hard feelings, you just are never gonna be that close again. It's part of growing up and learning. I would say to you that the best thing you can do to support him is to allow him to feel/learn what it is he needs to. Not to bug him or try to actively aid in his problem, but just let him sit alone sort of.

[divz21]

really but our mutual girl mate has come to me feeling like shes being replaced by another girl.. shes such a good friend to me, and i tried to reassure her that it wont happen...i dont trust the new girl that he is trying to get close too.. i get the vibe she fancies him.. so kind of uneasy with friends and relationship in a way...

[brahman]

Hold on, I need you to clarify a few things.......

 

Is this your boyfriend?

Is the good friend still hanging with him at all? Every day, couple times a week, once a month?

Does he seem to fancy her?

 

I think he still needs to learn how to deal with those things.

[divz21]

ok well we aint together in fact we are broken up, but trying to sort things out but its a different matter.. yeah our mutual girl mate is hanging out with him but less that normal.. he dont seem to fancy the new girl mate.. but i know he lied to me about seeing her with a group of people...i know he speaks to the new girl on the phone and texts and also sees her atleast twice a week....yeah i know he needs to deal with things i agree with you there.. but fact is i strongly feel that the new girl may cause problems...