HELP!! 9 months preg. & NOW he wants a break?! ADVICE?!?

[trina_marie]

alright, here's the situation.. me and my ex started going out when i was only 13 years old. we've were together for over 2 years.. he was my first boyfriend. my first kiss, my first.. well, everything. then, unfortunatley enough, after about a year and a half of dating.. i ended up pregnant. he was really shocked at first, but there by my side like the great boyfriend he was. then.. in about my 7th month.. mood swings checked in.. we fought non-stop.. ..it sucked. yeah, alot of it was my fault because of the mood swings and all and he just was NOT used to me being so damn emotional. i cried over everything he said.. which is NOT ME.. at all. we kind of took a break at the beginning of my 8th month because we definatly needed it.

 

well, our anniversary was coming up.. and even though we were on a break, we were still going to see eachother. nothing fancy, he was just coming over so we could be together. well, pn our anniversary.. 5:00 came around and he still hadnt showed.. so i called his cell phone and was like.. "hey babe.. when are you getting here?" and hes like.. "oh, umm.. im.. uh.. not." well, that. i hung up. i was so pissed and so hurt. i cried and cried and cried. and then, i started having contractions.. me and my mom figured they were braxton-hicks contractions (false labor).. and we went into the hospital just to ease my mind. well, turns out i was 2 1/2 centimeters dialated and my contractions were coming every 6 minutes. well, obviously, they kept me there.. i was way too early to have this baby. bryan did come and see me in the hospital, even though it was like 11:00 and he had school the next day.. we ended our break and were together again. he kissed me good-bye.. told me he loved me.. and went home for the night after being with me a couple hours. well, they had to transfer me to a hospital in seattle (2 hour drive from where i live) because my contractions were not stopping and getting worse.

 

then, hell broke loose. his mom called me and read me this note that she found in his pocket when she was doing his laundry. she told me she was just going to read me the "important parts" of the note.. it said stuff like.. "baby, i want you.. you turn me on.. if you ever want to have some fun.. you can come ride me". needless to say, i was pissed and hurt beyond reason. i called his cell phone and left this huge message on his answering machine asking him how the hell he could do this to me.. and that i hated him.. and i hope he has fun with his new wh0re. well, he listened to it.. and decided that i over-reacted and he was "too hurt to be with me" and dumped me..

 

(oh, and by the way.. he later read me the note.. the WHOLE thing.. and it was a huuggee joke from this girl that was one of his really good friends. his mom didnt bother to read me the name.. which would have totally eased my mind.. or bother to read the ENTIRE note, which also would have eased my mind.. because it was blatenly obvious that it was a joke when you heard the whole thing)

 

well, i was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks, and never got another visit from bryan. i got out of the hospital and a week or so of nothing but crying later.. i drove over to his house at about 11:00 at night and knocked on his bedroom window and told him to come outside. i told him that i loved him and i wasnt leaving until he took me back. he and i both knew he was going to take me back.. but he wanted to be a smart@ss and make me do something. so he took me to his basketball court and said i had to make a basket in 5 shots or less.. and then he'd take me back. (i suck, by the way).. i had missed my first 2.. and he changed his mind and said i had to make it in 3. well, i missed the 3rd shot and immediately turned around and said, "pleaaseee, no!" and he said, "what are you complaining about? you still got 2 more chances " ..so i made it on my 5th shot and ran up and hugged him and kissed him and told him i loved him. he told me he loved me too.. i went home and he called my cell phone and talked to me the entire way home.. and kept telling me how much he loved me. it was a great feeling to be back together.

 

then i went to his house 2 days later.. and he was being the sweetest he had ever been to me. okay, i absolutley think blow jobs are the sickest things in the world.. and he's always begging me for one. so, i figured id deal with it one time and let him have one.. just because he was being soo nice and we had just gotten back together. so i did, and believe me, he loved every minute of it. we went to bed and that morning he had to go to school.. and he kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me.

 

i called him later that night and was talking to him.. i said something and he goes, "whoa, trina.. what you talking about? we're not together.." and i was in shock. i was like.. " ..what?! i went to your house.. and i did the basketball thing and everything.." and hes like, "you had 3 shots. you missed.." and i was like, "it was 5!" and hes like, "no, it was 3.. i just let you try two more times cuz i felt bad." and i was like.. "then why the hell would you let me do that to you if we werent going out?!" (i was talking about the blow job..*YUCK*) and hes like, "trina.. i would let ANY girl do that if she offered.."

 

so, now.. we ARENT together and ive seen him once more in person. and even then, i only saw him for 2 minutes.. and he ran up and hugged me.. kissed me.. and told me he loved me about 5 times. but on the phone, he tells me im stupid, im annoying, that he doesnt think he will ever take me back, that he "knows if a girl pulled a move on him now, he would definatly go along with it.", and hes always telling me about girls.. he tells me.. "guess what hottie gave me a massage today?" or "oh yeah.. *so-and-so* sat on my lap all day today.." he's just a complete

 

but, sadly enough, i am totally 100% in LOVE with that . i would do absolutley ANYTHING to get him back. he's the love of my life.. and my best friend. PLUS, he's the father to my baby.. what the hell do i do?!

 

ADVICE ANYONE?!?!

[GeeCee]

Whoa Trina Marie

 

I am going to chose my words carefully, because the last thing that I want to do is sound judgemental.

 

I find it curious that you have posted a really long thread about your issues with your ex, and only in the last paragraph do you mention your baby. You have got your work cut out for you.

 

Firstly, you need to make yourself strong for the biggest priority of your life now - your child. Whatever you do, you must be strong for that child. YOu have a huge responsibility now.

 

Trina you and your ex are both young - too young, I believe to have a committed relationship, and your actions are demonstrating this without question. He wants to have the time of his life - and you want to join him. I don't think that you are in a position to do that now. What you need to do, perhaps with the help of both your families, is discuss ways forward in your relationship. You really do need to talk to each other, and perhaps having a mediator present would help you both get to have your say.

 

I really think that this is possibly too much for you to handle alone, and my advice, thereforeeee, is to get an adult involved who can help you both find some kind of mutual agreement.

 

I wish you lots and lots of luck. Enjoy your baby.

 

G xx

[trina_marie]

yeah, i understand where i did look pretty shallow for not mentioning my son through all of this.. but im mainly looking for advice with my ex, thats why..

 

well, to add my son in all of this, i have asked my ex to have us just try for, my son, conner's sake. we both come from broken homes and ive asked him to not make conner have one, too. he said no.

 

all we ever argued about was my son. the fact that he hasnt had to give up anything or make any sacrifices for him. i am the one who had to drop out of regular school and go to a school for teen moms. i am the one who lost all my friends. i am the one who has to wake up every night with him. im the one who cant go out anymore.. he goes out almost every night. i am the one who has bought every single thing my son has (crib, dressers, clothes, swings, car seat, clothes, diapers etc) and he hasnt bought one thing. he told me he was getting a job to help.. but he never did.. well, he did.. but he only to earn enough money to go on this choir tour thing where he gets to spend a week in a hotel room with all girls with no supervision.. (kinda goes to show you his priorities, huh? )

 

i love my son more than i will ever love my ex.. but i still love my ex, too. all i want is a family.. but i dont know how to get it.. and i'd love some advice to help me though all of this.

 

my mom is very involved.. she tells me to give up on him.. but its just a little too hard for me.

 

again, sorry for sounding so shallow!

[NightLily]

Well, I am sorry that your boyfirend is treating you like this--leaving you alone after giving birth, being immature, and acting very unloving and uncaring. I also feel bad that you got yourself in this position while not fully understanding the consequences of your actions.. or how suportive your ex would turn out to be.

 

As for what I think you should DO about this situation, I think it would be best for your baby and you if you try to move on from your ex, like your mom told you, and basiclly keep doing what you are doing. You have gotten your mom strongly involved, you work hard to give your child the best life that he can have, and you are making many sacrifices for your son. These are all very good qualities for a child to have in a mom, especially when the mom is younger like yourself.

 

Also, things I think you should keep in mind.. later on, when you have healed from all the pain your ex has caused you, you could very well meet a good, loving man that you could one day marry and could one day father your son. So, please, for your sake, don't give up all hope that your child won't live in a "broken family." And then, also remember, you are being a better mom then most young mothers, or young women who get pregnant. You didn't have an abortion. Which I have to respect you for, I am grateful for, and i'm sure your son will be as well. Good luck raising the beautiful child you brought into the world.

 

-Suzy Q

[Micksbabyboo]

Hey

 

First and formost, I would like to ask you say that you started going out with him when you are 13 and been dating him for two years making you 15? Also, No women Deserves to be treated like trash and you for one should not premite the way he is with you, You are carrying his son, He should atleast have some feelings towards the mother of his child. I think he is trying to get you jealouse by telling you about his days with other girls and i think he needs help if he keeps changing his mind about loving you everytime you see him or speak to him, You deserve better then that dont let any guy call you stupid or annoying because you try to show your feelings.

 

Love is Blind thats how it goes but no matter how blind love is you should always try to keep your self respect. I disagree with the fact that you say you love him, You need to think about your baby and the future is your Ex is the way he is now imagen him when he gets back with you, What kind of Example would he ve giving to the Gift that you guys share (the baby). You yourselve said you come from a broken home so you must of suffered all that we suffer (i say we cause i came from a broken home aswell). You SHOULD do whats best for yourself and your baby and take care of your self and your baby, Ive meet alot of guys who treat there wifes/Girlfriends the way you describe your b/f Treating you and all of them are alone now with kids.

 

I dont want to sound rude on this note, But i Hate to see guys treating the mothers of there babie's like trash. You Deserve the best along with your baby and dont let any one else treat you bad, Do it for your baby and keep on life is hard and you will just make it harder by an addition of your Ex who will Verbaly Abuse you and your poor baby if he had the chance.