Torn up, i need to vent. feedback/advice?

[dld123]

first off i know this might be long and i respect that some people might not want to or have the time to read through it all, yet alone, comment back. but i thank you in advance. im gonna try to make this as short as possible.

 

-met a girl, hung out with her 5 days in a row and offcially we were together.

 

-she fell in love with me, shortly after i fell in love with her.

 

- it lasted about a year.

 

- we had a lot planned together. we fought often, a little less more than we loved, but it was just still amazing.

 

- she ended it with me 6 months ago, because she said she couldnt take it anymore. the fighting, the lying (small small lies), she felt i was miserable (she must of been blind cuz i was the happiest ever, i guess i just wasnt good at showing it)

 

its been almost 6 months since we broken up, and i tried and did everything to get her back. nothing i have tried worked, and i know i did some of the typical stupid things that shouldnt be done. she told me she lost a lot of romantic love for me, but still loves me as a person. we tried friends a couple of times, but it was just to hard for me. but we decided to try again, mostly me because i really love this girl and id do or try anything for her. and im just hoping that maybe soon she will open her eyes and love me and try this again. she said all she wants is a friend and i respect that im just having a hard time accepting., and i did her wrong and i have to earn her trust back and work my way back up from scratch. she always tells me im free to leave if i can handle it and she knows what i want but tells me nothings guaranteed at all, as she doesnt know if its worth it or whatever. ive been in longer relationships with uglier turn outs, but this one is just to hard for me. i really believe this girl is the ONE for me.

 

im not sure the main question i have here. i guess im just looking for advice. and if any additional info is asked ill certainly provide that.

 

thank you so much.

[Cuppedia]

Hello and welcome to the forum. Oh and don't worry your post wasn't long.

 

It's important to know why you used to fight so much. Some people can't avoid fighting with their partner because it makes them feel passion, like the relationship is not "dull" or "boring", others just don't know anything else. I don't know if either of those was the case or something completely different but the fact is fighting is a huge red flag and undeniable sign that what's happening is not healthy.

 

At least you can both see now that's not what you want.

 

I would say the best you can do is try to understand more about your behaviour, to get your life back on track without her, the best way to show another person that you deserve their trust and that you are changing is to actually change. I'm not saying that you should try to improve only to get her back but it would benefit both of you if it happens. I'm sure she has a lot of things she should work on too but because you can't do it for her you have to pay attention only to your side of things.

 

Don't pressure her, what's more, give her space to deal with her own issues. Don't keep trying to get her back, if it happens it has to develop naturally, so at least for a while just try to focus more on yourself.