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I Don't Have A Best Friend


Drained18

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I was on Facebook the other day, browsing through pictures from member's of my class from graduation and the beginnings of their summer vacations. I realized that- in their big groups of friends- each individual person has a best friend... someone they hang out with with/without the big group. So I looked at my group of friends... and I realized that I don't have a 'best friend'. I don't have someone who I can call and they're always ready to hang out with me. I have a boyfriend of a year and a half and we hang out a lot but when he's not around, I'm alone. It's kinda sad. And I have no idea how to make a regular friend into a best friend without seeming like a damn creeper calling all the time lol... Ugh. Help!

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I was on Facebook the other day, browsing through pictures from member's of my class from graduation and the beginnings of their summer vacations. I realized that- in their big groups of friends- each individual person has a best friend... someone they hang out with with/without the big group. So I looked at my group of friends... and I realized that I don't have a 'best friend'. I don't have someone who I can call and they're always ready to hang out with me. I have a boyfriend of a year and a half and we hang out a lot but when he's not around, I'm alone. It's kinda sad. And I have no idea how to make a regular friend into a best friend without seeming like a damn creeper calling all the time lol... Ugh. Help!

 

I'm in the same situation. I have a group of friends, but I'm not all that close with any one of them. It sucks... I don't think you can really force making a best friend. You can try to meet new people and one might just happen. But that's easier said than done...

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cant help you here. i've lived this for a while now. i'd have friends come and go though.

its not a real problem, although i'm with you. recognizing the difference between you and other people is troubling. makes you wonder what you are lacking... but its nothing to be overly upset or worried about.

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I don't have many "close" friends either. Mostly because I have high standards when it comes to friendships. I give a lot, but I expect a lot too. And maybe it's unrealistic but it's just me. I feel like if I am going to trust you...you have to earn it, and most people

fail to earn my trust because they are just too unreliable for my taste. I don;t need any fair weathered friends. They are a dime a dozen...True friends are a rare find.

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I am the kind of friend who gives and gives and gives and receives very little in return. I'm a very loving and compassionate person and I feel like none of my friends are really that way. I'm the one who always has to call to make plans... no one every calls me. And it gets me really sad sometimes. I hate being alone all day long when my boyfriend and decide to have a day off.

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Pretty normal. I haven't had anyone like that since I was 12. Had a couple years here and there where I'd click with someone and we'd be that way for a little while, but VERY far between. I'm almost 40 and nearly totally alone in this world. One of those people that only my employer would notice if I was dead, and it would take them a couple weeks since I'm rarely actually in my cube.

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I understand how you feel, and how it makes you feel lonely. I'm the exact same way as you. In high school, I had a group of friends, some of whom I was closer to than others, but no "best friend" (besides my boyfriend at the time). A big part of that was because my main hobbies are playing video games and watching sports, and I wasn't really as interested in all the things that my girlfriends were.

 

Things changed in college, and my roommate became my "best friend." She ended up stealing my high school sweetheart (who I went to college with) from me. Ouch.

 

It still upsets me that I don't have a "best friend" anymore, and now I'm even more hesitant to get that close to one person in fear of being backstabbed again. I know how it sucks to be alone all day when your boyfriend isn't there... But it's perfectly okay to maintain friendships without a best friend, it definitely doesn't mean anything's wrong with you!

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Okay, I sympathize with you... if I were in your position I would probably try to get close to someone in the group I already hang out with. They clearly already like you and know you, so you're almost there

 

Start coordinating a lot of the group outings. Have people meet at your house. Then start breaking the group down a bit. Invite 2 or 3 of the people in the group to randomly go out. Just keep doing that until you feel you could be best friends with someone in the group.

 

Have you ever had a best friend before?

 

I used to really have a problem making friends when I was younger, but I'm quite good at it now. I have about 4-5 best friends. 2 I've had since 7th/8th grade... the other 2-3 have been from the last year of college. I just started taking a sincere interest in their lives, called to see how they were doing, and I wasn't shy about it. I'd be like- I want to see you, stop having a life. Let's hang out, etc. If someone likes you, they are usually pretty receptive to this because it's flattering. Just show you sincerely want to be a part of their life and people are usually pretty open to having you in it. Most people are selfish so they like it when they meet someone whose actually interested in them and their life.

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I understand your desire for a best friend. I had a best friend during high school... or so I thought. It turned out that friendship didn't stand the test of time past high school. We became friends after starting high school and both being rejected / drifting away from our existing friend groups. We had virtually identical interests and tastes and our eventual high school friend group formed around us as best friends.

 

I don't think best friends are really forever. I do think most people want a best friend forever though... it's just finding one that's though.

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  • 1 year later...
I'm in the same situation. I have a group of friends, but I'm not all that close with any one of them. It sucks... I don't think you can really force making a best friend. You can try to meet new people and one might just happen. But that's easier said than done...

 

yer same i mean i see other groups at school with people and best friends.. and like i think y cant i hav a best friend? eva since i was like 7 all of my best friends moved away from me to brisbane or sumthin... its like everytime i hav a chance to hav a best friend they r takin away from me.... and i think it mite happen again to me...i kno it will actually and the thing is the person i wish i could be closer to as a best friend is like.. SOO annoyingly weird about having a bestfriend and plus she thinks she too good for me and alot of other people to be her friend.. i mean yer just ditch me and go off with ur "friends" u guys wnt get my situation....

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u see tho how old r you now? hm? 24-23? was it really that easy to do this stuff if u wer my age? 14! ur too shame to do anythin incase people like just say no or sumthin. wens thers one person u want to be best friends with but u dnt kno bout them wat do u do? i mean this is so gay and frustrating for me.....

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  • 9 months later...
I am the kind of friend who gives and gives and gives and receives very little in return. I'm a very loving and compassionate person and I feel like none of my friends are really that way. I'm the one who always has to call to make plans... no one every calls me. And it gets me really sad sometimes. I hate being alone all day long when my boyfriend and decide to have a day off.

 

i am the exact saame way. i believe that only aholes........have all the luck with people. think about it, in relationships, even the jerk wins the girl... so i guess the jerky friend gets all the loyal friends idk, that's just the logic i've seen around these parts.

if you were here or i were there, we would be good friends. lol

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I don't have one anymore either. My best friend of 16 years slept with a girl I had started hanging out with ..... which was only 3 months after my ex- had cheated on me and left me for her trainer. I guess you could actually say I lost my two best friends in that time.

 

It's weird not to have that go-to person .... like a gaping hole in your life.

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  • 4 months later...

Right now I'm dealing with the same thing... I have so many friends, but none of them are close... The are more like acquaintances. None of them have even been over to my house, and I feel a little weird... I'm rarely alone at school, but when I'm at home on the weekends, I have no one to hang out with.

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It's perfectly normal to not have a best friend. I had 5 best friends growing up and we'd hang out all the time in high school even through college and after. Then I got a boyfriend and dated him for 4 years until he broke up with me recently. He was my best friend during those 4 years. Now during the darkest and most painful time in my life, it turns out that the 5 people who used to be my best friends weren't my best friends after all. I realized they were simply people who I partied and had fun with.

 

It's really true when people say that you won't know who your REAL friends are until you are at a time of great loss and pain.

True friends are a dime a dozen, they are really really rare. Most people go through an entire lifetime not having a single true friend. You have to realize that in this day and age, people are selfish. But there are people out there who are genuine. I hope all of us find one, one day!

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I feel that same way. A lot of the people I hung out with all moved away and I only been in contact with them through FB. But, I do have a close friend that just recently moved about 45 mins away with her fiance. Which it makes it even harder to hang out with her. I know 45 mins isn't all that far but, are schedules are a bit different so it makes it tougher to get together. I occasionally go surfing with my cousin which who I get along with quite well also. Though I do feel alone because it seems like all I have is my bf and his has friends that come over occasionally. My bf works for a farming company as a pest control advisor and during the winter he goes down to Southern Cali for a couples every week for work. Which this leaves me by myself and I feel lonely wishing that I had more friends. I love my bf's company and enjoy spending time with him. I hate feeling like this lonely person who should deserve a girls night out occasionally.

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  • 1 year later...

I know exactly what you mean. I have been hanging out in a group of 3 friends for the last two years now and its really starting to get to me. The other two people in my triangle of friends like each other more than me and at times make that obvious. We've been doing activities in partners and I've realized I don't have anyone to look to. I always end up being paired up with this no good trouble maker who nobody likes. I don't know if there's something wrong with me that makes everyone hate me, or if everyone just likes their own best friends more than me. I feel like I've dropped down and am now the least popular, least liked person in the grade. I use to have a best friend but she just stopped being friends with me and is best friends with another girl now. So I have nobody and have no idea what to do...

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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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