Why don't I know? Please help!

[Ms Darcy]

You know what? I think you are emotionally unavailable. You haven't really developed the skills or the will to learn how to communicate and connect with others and this is manifesting right now in not knowing how to proceed in your relationship. But, ultimately, the stem of the concern runs deeply within you because you do not have much of a sense of what it's like to experience emotional intimacy. I think once you understand your wants and needs, how to ask for what you desire, and how to share, you would have a clearer sense of what you find fulfilling in the long term.

[WomanWriter]

I don't know...I knew i wanted to marry my ex after only being together 4 months...I was 21 and he was 19 at the time. 7 years later and being engaged, my ex called it off saying he wasn't read. He was my first *real* relationship (I had others but they weren't as serious), yet somehow I *knew*...I just did...I didn't want anyone else...I couldn't even consider anyone else. I just wanted him. Unfortunately, I guess he started having doubts.

 

But for me, when I knew, I knew. There was no question. Since you don't know, I guess you don't want to marry him.

[Sparkley]

I don't know...I knew i wanted to marry my ex after only being together 4 months...I was 21 and he was 19 at the time. 7 years later and being engaged, my ex called it off saying he wasn't read. He was my first *real* relationship (I had others but they weren't as serious), yet somehow I *knew*...I just did...I didn't want anyone else...I couldn't even consider anyone else. I just wanted him. Unfortunately, I guess he started having doubts.

 

But for me, when I knew, I knew. There was no question. Since you don't know, I guess you don't want to marry him.

 

 

Yeah, felt the same with my my ex-husband, somehow you can just fell it that he is the one you are going to marry. Hard to put into words but when you find the right guy you will understand what we mean.

[N1607308058]

You know what? I think you are emotionally unavailable. You haven't really developed the skills or the will to learn how to communicate and connect with others and this is manifesting right now in not knowing how to proceed in your relationship. But, ultimately, the stem of the concern runs deeply within you because you do not have much of a sense of what it's like to experience emotional intimacy. I think once you understand your wants and needs, how to ask for what you desire, and how to share, you would have a clearer sense of what you find fulfilling in the long term.

 

Interesting, I think maybe there's truth to this. I don't know how to connect with others. I hate showing others my emotions; I feel really embarrassed about any displays of emotion on my part, and I don't know how to deal when someone else is emotional in my presence. It makes me really uncomfortable. That's also probably why the BF and I rarely fight. I avoid it at all costs, usually. Is this something that can be addressed on one's own?