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What about a jerk or an a-hole is a girl attracted to? Is it a power thing? or a low self esteem thing on the females part? The reason why I ask this is because this is a battle I've been fighting when it comes to dating women for years. I'm the nice, sweet guy who treats girls good and I'm always single. For example, I'm back with my old band again and the rest of my bandmates have girlfriends who get treated like crap and I see it everyday and here I am Mr Nice Guy and single. Now, every single person has told me that I have to either "stop looking" or tell me that I haven't found the right girl yet.

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What about a jerk or an a-hole is a girl attracted to?


From my point of view, mostly girls with low self esteem ends up in relationships with jerk. What makes some women attracted to bad boys:


  • They have status / high position in the hierarchy
  • They are not afraid of taking risks
  • They are willing to "fight" for their girl
  • They are not afraid to be sexual
  • They stand up for themselves

Neither of these things are necessarily bad things, but jerks takes them to an extreme. "Good guys" should be able to balance these traits better.

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Difference between bad boy and jerk. My ex was a jerk, but he was most definitely not a bad boy. Low self esteem was definitely part of it, but so is the limited selection of guys available who were single. Seemed like I should work on what we had when things started going downhill after a couple years, than to walk away and maybe never find anything better. Stayed stuck like that for another 2 years before I finally walked.

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They are not afraid to be sexual

I believe it comes down to this. They may not be a better lover or want sex more than a nice guy, but they will make the first moves to get the girls. The nice guys will hesitate and that's a turn off to many girls.

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