What the heck is he feeling? Should I give up?

[zestygirl]

I'm trying so hard to figure out where I stand...but he makes it so impossible....

 

What do you guys think?

 

He and I have been breaking up on & off for two years. Together 8. He continually 'came back' and also continually told me he just wanted to be friends, but had moments where he confessed I was his 'heart' and he loved me more than anybody in the world.

 

Now we have been NC for 6 weeks and I'm seeing him tonight (possibly). He is dating a new girl (disgusting....he dragged her home from the bar both of them hammered almost two months ago and now she's the one?? He was still sleeping with me, I TOLD her about it via text, and she stayed? idiot)....But I don't care about HER I care about HIM. He will be visiting MY children tonight, and there is a possibility I will see him...I want to react the best possible way....but I don't know what that is...should i continue NC to give him more opportunity to miss me? Should I suggest he come in after dropping off the kids?

 

He most recently says he feels sorry for "Our Pain" and wants to be friends.

 

HOW DO I KNOW IF HE STILL LOVES ME??? If there is NO HOPE of reconciliation, I don't want to talk to him. It'll just hurt me more.

 

How does one know if there IS hope?????

[NewPhillyGuy]

I'm in a similar situation right now with a girl.

 

On and off - she really likes me, wants a relationship, but is too scared. Gets really close, then disappears - Breaks dates last minute, takes forever to return calls. Then, when I call her out, she says she's in turmoil and thinks it's best that we be friends only.

[Pixiedoc]

He's still with someone else.

 

He says he wants to be 'friends'.

 

Don't count on a chance meeting after 6 weeks' NC as being anything other than not wanting a 'scene' when he sees your kids.

 

I would be very wary of indicating that you're still interested (might not hear from him for another 6 weeks) and don't plan a 'surprise' encounter unless you're willing to be friendly and accept that he's moved on and is with someon else.

 

In any case, if he picked some random person up from a bar, I would keep your distance, he may have picked other things up as well

 

Just let it go, if you can - there are no signs at all that there is any hope of reconciliation, sorry.

[zestygirl]

I initiated the NC. Mostly because I knew how much I still meant to him....and was hoping that a long break would help him miss me. He suggested dinner with my children. (Very, very odd). I feel like he is trying to 'make his way back in' via the children. (Not that he is using them....he does care for them).

 

I guess I will find out though, if he tries to see me.

 

My biggest question is: SHOULD I see him? Or should I make him wait longer?? (Perhaps force him to admit he WANTS to see me directly...rather than him trying to sneak in a visit while visiting with my kids)....Or should I LET him come in? If so...how should i act????

[IMAbadman]

Zesty... girl what are you doing?!?

 

You mention how you know how much he still cares about you... really??

 

He left you. Meets some bar-fly and is bumping uglies with her... oh AND YOU at the same time. That's been going on 2+ months now. So you figure if you if you tell her, which you do, she'll dump him and come crawling back to you. Instead she's still with him and your FWB supply got cut off. Hmmm.... I wonder what he told her when she questioned it? Where's your self-respect?

 

I'm sorry but in my opinion he's dead weight.

 

I guess if you really want to know how or where this is going you keep what lines of communication you have open. Don't be an emotional lap dog humping his leg everytime he gets in the yard. Stay cool, calm, and collective. Try to be unaffected by the break-up... as if you're moving on. In fact back off a little, see if he initiates. AND FOR CHRIST SAKES KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON. NO MORE SEX.

[zestygirl]

You're right badman.Very right.

 

I've decided to tell him he's fine to visit the kids...but that I can't have contact with him...not to punish him, to heal me.

 

I do not wish to continue torturing myself.

[IMAbadman]

You're right badman.Very right.

 

I've decided to tell him he's fine to visit the kids...but that I can't have contact with him...not to punish him, to heal me.

 

I do not wish to continue torturing myself.

 

So how you holding out hun? Chasity belt still intact?

[savignon]

Zesty... girl what are you doing?!?

 

You mention how you know how much he still cares about you... really??

 

He left you. Meets some bar-fly and is bumping uglies with her... oh AND YOU at the same time. That's been going on 2+ months now. So you figure if you if you tell her, which you do, she'll dump him and come crawling back to you. Instead she's still with him and your FWB supply got cut off. Hmmm.... I wonder what he told her when she questioned it? Where's your self-respect?

That is EXACTLY what I was going to say and add that you call *her* and idiot... come on now!!

He doesn't need to see your children (if they're not his). He wants the stability of you while he gets his kicks from her....PLEASE!!