Using LOA to get your ex back

[jennb0benn]

It's love without attachment.

 

Very well put. This is exactly how I feel about some important past exes.

[thathoopla]

Step 1 - 3 has been very helpful right now...I feel a million times better already...Thanks for posting!!

 

The only things I had a problem with were admitting that these were not true:

"Who would want me? I'm unlovable"

"If my ex didn't want me, then something must be wrong with me"

 

I guess I can admit that it didn't work out, he wasn't right for me, etc. etc. but when it's about myself - I hit a roadblock. That's probably going to be harder to get over than him.

[LONEMAN]

It really depends on the couple, but keep in mind it takes TWO to make a relationship work whether it's a romantic one or just one of friendship, and this includes what happens during a breakup. If a couple decides to just be friends and are cool with it or whatever, then great, but if two people want different things, then regardless of what happened, you must respect the dumper's wishes first and foremost. This is the time to really step aside and take advantage of being selfish and focusing on yourself. Do not worry about what's going on with the other person or what may happen. Do not try to help them. They do not want your help. Continue to focus on yourself even if you think their inner self is crying out for help. Do it for you, not because you want to be better for them.

 

The time will come when your mind will be clear enough to really think about the relationship and what you really want. This is being honest with yourself. You may ultimately realize there are bigger and better opportunities out there. For me, it took just one night of looking at pretty girls and realizing I was much better off with girls like these because the relationship lacked so many things, including a strong sexual connection and frequency.

 

Now, for those that are really honest with themselves and truly want their exes back one way or another, don't worry because another post will be along shortly and I will post the link to that post here.

[aftershaing]

For my previous breakup, I did the 'nurse the pain' route by weak default. Boy that took years to get through. Bad method.

 

My current breakup, I am totally taking charge of my life and on board with option 2. This is excellent advice. Thanks for reposting it!

[LONEMAN]

I proudly present the original DNS post on how to get your ex back in this thread

[sahasupa]

The only problem with that there is no guarantee it will work. That said, if you apply the advise rigorously and move on emotionally, at the end you will not care that much whether you got your ex back or not.

[LONEMAN]

Again, this particular advice is for those who truly, honestly, need to move on and never look back. If you really desire your ex back, then check out the link above.

[Minx2012]

This is ONE OF THE BEST POSTS I have ever read in my life on any forum. Great one, " DNS " ( wherever and whoever you are ). I am not going through a break up at all. I am just browsing this forum to check out what people have to say about love and everything else. From my experience, the post is shockingly true and right. I have tried the " slow, nursing the wound " method at the age of 17 when I first got my heart broken by my high school sweetheart. The pain lasted until I was 21 years old. So much for " nursing " the wound. It made it worse.

 

After 21 years of age, I got busier with my University, postgrad, professional licensing and now career. I am 30 years old now and more energetic, powerful, well-rounded and wiser than I had ever been. I noticed that my relationships between the age of 21 - 30 have all been " easier " in terms of break ups. In fact, either I dumped them or they dumped me and it was a lot easier because I started doing " Method 2 " ( NC all the way ). Seriously, tried, tested and true : NC really does help you in the long run. As far as it being " harder " in the short run, you get used to it. Interestingly enough, all my exes have gone back to me or begged me back etc....but by then, I was so completely over the whole thing and them that I was able to bow out and reject them with grace.

 

I would suggest to people : Print out this advice from this wise " dns " person and paste it on your wall if you ever go through a break up.