boogiedb Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 Recently I had my first sexual experience with a woman. She is someone that I really got along with well before we decided to become intimate. We made plans to make love and everything was going great until I tried to perform oral sex on her. Without going into great detail she had a hygiene problem which made it impossible for me to continue. I told her since it was my first time, I wasn’t ready to go all the way, but I think she recognized what was going on. Afterwards she told me to call her the next day and we would make plans to get together again. The next day I called and she was very rude to me. She told me she was disappointed with our love making and didn’t want to be teased like a kid in a candy store. She said that the previous night was my chance to show her what kind of lover I really was and that I basically blew it. We got into an argument and both of us said terrible things to eachother. Our fight got so bad that she said she never wants to see me again. I really feel bad about this. Never in my wildest dreams would I think hygiene would screw things up for me. I wanted her so bad, and I still do. I know that I could never tell her what really went on that night. I just wouldn’t know what to say. Since I’m new at this, I’d just like to know what I can do, because I still care about her. Can somebody help me on this one? Link to comment
oneandonlydebbie Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 I think this woman is being very cruel, she knew it was your first time and should have had more respect for you than that. Especially with her having a hygeine problem. Had i been her, i have to admit i would not like to be told that downstairs is a bit wiffy but had you given me the same excuse you gave her i would have taken the lead and tried my best to make you feel comfortable. If you really want this woman then of course you both will have to sort this out, call her and apologise tell her you want to see her again. Theres no use in playing games ive found its better just to be flat out and honest with people. If she refuses then fair enough, youve asked her, she knows how you feel and the ball is in her court and she doesnt sound like the kind of girl whos too shy to ask a guy out. Maybe then after a few weeks you could ask her out again, if again she refuses then leave it and move on. if she says yes the 1st or 2nd time be prepared to wine and dine her and show her you mean business, although you did nothing wrong she has to build up her confidence and trust in you again. and when the time is right move on to sex, if the same happens, suggest (if appropriate) maybe having a shower together and wask each others bits, there you go, youve washed her you know how clean she is BINGO!! I hope this is of help to you!! Good Luck Link to comment
bleeder Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 Oh man...that is disgusting! Sorry, but I was a little taken a back with her "hygiene problem". Please tell her that no man can "perform" well when the sewer is located right at her lower quarters. Of course, try and tell her tactfully. If she is not willing to "clean up", then I'd advice you to stay away from her. That is one BIG turn off dude. Tk care. Link to comment
cookies Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 oh man...thas just an awful situation to be in. Firstly, i dont think tht you owe her an apology, because it seems to me that she is just embarrassed and is trying to find a reason to make u feel guilty. Im sorry to say that, but its how i feel as a female. There is no excuse 4 a woman to be stankin when her man is goin down on her, and that makes me sick to my stomache to even think about why guys even wanna do that after hearing ur story...LOL...but im not complaining..just wandering... I agree,,...that is such a turnoff...thas a sign of a poor hygine problem, because ppl in genreal should keep their bodies clean, and to think ur gonna be intimate,..special care should be taken...ie..trimming the area really sexy, making sure u look, smell and possibly taste good there "in case" ur man wanna do the "smell" test...havent u heard of that b4? You must be totally honest with her and let her know that she had an unpleasant odor which got u out of the mood to continue, she needs to know that her hygiene was the cause, not because u cant perform well... AND...when u do it again...to make sure that u wont be facing that...shower with her, and u wash that area urself. Use body gels that has a delicious fruity smell to it, and dont just wash the area once...do it more than once...and if u "trim" her area down there...thas sexy and a turn on too..and gets that hair off that may be holdin in the stinch....im not being mean..just talkin to u as if u were my brother...k? Men as well as women perspire in that area..and i would never wanna be in a situation with my man wanting me to perform and hes smelling awful...so u gotta talk to her about it...or just wash her up, and tell her that u love the way these body bath gels smell..and gve her a BIG gift of them...asking her to use them every time...or u do it... good luck cookies Link to comment
jaiva Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 You must be totally honest with her and let her know that she had an unpleasant odor which got u out of the mood to continue, she needs to know that her hygiene was the cause, not because u cant perform well... AND...when u do it again...to make sure that u wont be facing that...shower with her, and u wash that area urself. Use body gels that has a delicious fruity smell to it, and dont just wash the area once...do it more than once...and if u "trim" her area down there...thas sexy and a turn on too..and gets that hair off that may be holdin in the stinch....im not being mean..just talkin to u as if u were my brother...k? I agree. Tell her that she smelled. That's the best way to handle that situation. Jaiva Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 I think you need to somehow find a way to be honest with her, without being mean... it is a sensitive issue after all. I don't think that you did anything wrong and I sure don't blame ya!! I just feel that even though she is the one with the problem, being really blunt and mean about it will just push her away... which is not what you wanna do if you still care about her and want to have sex with her in the future. Take advice from the previous posters too! Especially the one about showering together, trimming (a turn on)... telling her how awesome she smells and tastes, and possibly giving her the gels as a gift. Good luck Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 I'm sorry, but I must agree. She is being cruel. It was your first time, and I feel that quite a lot of compassion needs to be shown to people who are new to the concept of love making. ESPECIALLY if the person they are with is already experienced. You have a lot weighing on you in a situation like that! You're nervous and you don't know what to expect. If things catch you off guard or you're simply not ready to move forward, a GOOD partner would be understanding and supportive and caring. I would say that if she isn't caring for you and supporting you, then SHE'S the lousy lover! And she gives women a bad name. No offense... I know you still care for her. But I seriously think that she has her own issues in bed that need to be solved before she'd be a decent lover. Making love isn't just about sex. It's about the attitude. And her attitude is wrong. Link to comment
jessijess Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 Wow, sounds to me like this woman is awful! & I'm not even talking about her hygene problem. She knew it was your first time & she acted like that?! I agree with the above posts that suggested that you take a shower with her & maybe even help her trim. But I do have one question for you? Are you sure you want to continue with someone that treats you this way? Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 That's a great question. Do you want your first experiences to be negative ones? Wouldn't you much rather be with someone who will respect you? Link to comment
Carthiana Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 Don't hold this against all women We aren't all nasty and smelly. There are some of us that keep it 'ready' so that there aren't issues like that that come up. We are always looking for the guy that's willing to do what you were ~! Link to comment
Morky Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Hey man, I feel your pain. I was in the same predicament about 15 yeras ago. Lovely women but man did she smell. She wanted oral in the worse kinda way but there was no way I was munching on her with it smelling like decaying fish matter. Got to the point where she asked me why I wouldn't lick her lilly and I told here she stinks. No easy way to do it just be honest. You klnow the crazy part, she admitted she wouldn't gob the nob if I smelled like it. Talk about being a hypicrate. Anyway that is where it ended, i didn't see her again. Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Wow Morky... I don't think you could have been anymore graphic if you tried. Link to comment
Morky Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Ya know I love you don't ya PADreamer ;-) Link to comment
AzureSkyes69 Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 I think that is a horrible situation and it is very difficult to be tactful but gentle without offending someone. If you want to see her again just tell her it was your first time you were nervious and se what she says.. Btw that is gross someone not taking care of themselves be it man or woman. I would also suggest if you really want her to plan a romantic night at your place cook for her or order out. get candles,wine etc.. most of all get the tub filled up with bubble bath and suggest you have a candlelit bath together..(before the action) Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 I wouldnt worry about the embarrassing moment, cuz it wasnt your problem. You made an honest effort and and she got pissed. If she wants to make an issue of this then she can only blame herself but she obviously seems to blame you for this. Link to comment
Cartecay Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Think about this: She knew you were going to make love and she didn't even bother to "freshen" herself. Then, she unloads on you and criticizes your "performance". Sounds like a "ball buster" with no consideration for other people. Do you really want to try to continue this relationship? If she's this bad now think how will she be later? Typically, people try harder in the beginning of a relationship and if this is her "beginning" just how bad will it get after your relationship is more established? I suggest you move on and find a woman who will be absolutely delighted to help teach you the things you obviously want to know! Besides that, who wants to spend time with someone who isn't clean? Yuck! PS - I just realized I assumed you were male. Either way, she's wrong even if she might not be a "ball buster"! Link to comment
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