Is There Any Hope? I'm begining to think not.

[QuestionMonster]

Well, I'll just be honest I guess. I'm fat. Overweight, Obese, Big, Whatever the hell you wanna call it. Anyhow, I'm also REALLY shy. I actually remember that when I was younger I didn't used to be this shy. Then for some reason I got older and now im REALLY REALLY shy. I guess I realized that I wasn't one of the skinny girls. Depressing sometimes, but I've learned to live with it. I was born this way and I really doubt I'll ever be skinny, no matter how much exercising or dieting i try to do.

So the fact that I was shy as a child, and now im even shyer (is that a word?) now I have almost no guy friends. I feel like such an idiot when I talk to them, even if I'm not attracted to them. I'm not a loner or anything, I have a lot of friends but most of them are girls.

Anyways, I just want to know if all guys only want those "skinny" or "athletic" girls?

And I know a lot of people say "it's your personality that counts!" but seriously, I don't have the greatest personality, either. A lot of people think I'm kind of "stand-offish" or "cold" towards them when in reality I'm trying not die of shyness when a stranger talks to me.

So it's looking hopeless to me. I'm beginning to think I'm just going to die an old maid with tons of cats...

Sorry if I was boring anyone. Anybody got comments, feel free to tell me them.

[Ladee-Jennifer]

i know you wanted a resonse from a guy but i understand from a personal level. its hard. Im also shy myself n fat, i cant really talk to a guy without giving off a stand-offish or cold attitude towards them too. all guys seem to want a perfect skinny athletic girl but lets face it, some girls who are skinny and "supposedly" beautiful can act as real biatches. and wen they meet those kind of girls they'll probably b turned off....u give off a stand offish attitude at first, because ur shy but deep down ur probably a really great person just waiting for a prince to realize that.(also if u didnt have such a great personality y do u have so many friends.) and trust me ur not going to die as a old maid with tons of cats. i thought i would never find a guy because of my appearance but i did n he became my first love. s0 dont give up, he's out there some where lookin for u. g0oD luCK.

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y0u can erase someone from your mind but getting the out of your heart is another story.

[Fisch]

Hiya question!

First off let me say, that its not that looks dont matter, its just that often personality can make looks almost irrelevant. And of course guys dont just want athletic and skinny girls (not all guys are athletic and built either) hahaha. You are not stupid or abnormal for being shy or worried about your looks, everyone does at one point or another. At your age people put to much worth into looks and this is hurting your confidence, your lack of confidence is hurting your self worth, and your lack of self worth is hurting you socially. Self worth is just a state of mind. If its your lack of self worth that is hurting you socially in the first place and you have a lack of self worth because you are hurting socially its like a vicious cycle isnt it? And u have to break out of it noww!! A HUGE part of how people treat you is affected by how you treat yourself. In way their opinion is your opinion first (not always). There is a million reasons for people to like eachother, because everyone has different needs. I know you cant just spank confidence out of anywhere, do something that will impress yourself, indulge in a talent, be bold in a group even if it is nerveracking. In the end you will feel proud of yourself and this will improve your confidence, experience is the best way to break away from shyness. it aint hopeless until you try something NEW!

-Your pal Fisch

[Rainy]

Hi, im not fat and im not thin either, id say i was more in between size!! but I think girls like me are to concerened on our size and watching what we eat and thats wrong, we are who we are and we should be proud, no one can love you if you dont love yourself and that is very true!!

 

I think once you overcome your shyness and your confidence improves you will be able to talk to guys, i am shy too and i used to find it hard going out clubbing and meeting new people, but i knew i had too, instead of going out hoping to meet Mr Right, go out and have fun, i think most decent men like women who are confident and have a personality of course physical appereance is needed, but im sure you are very pretty,

 

maybe you could see if there is any courses to build self confidence and esteem, im sure there is courses out there for this, its not sad to go to places like these, if it helps you to build confidence then go for it, try and go out and do things that you would think are scary and im sure once you do it you will feel proud and your confidence will improve!!

 

 

good luck

[Clevi84]

I am a girl and I lost some weight so for me I am not fat anymore but to other ppl I suppose thaa I am.But it's not the problem,actually b4 I thought I couldn't have a bf coz of my weight.I lost some weight and still I don't have a bf.And u know why?It's just that I built a wall between me and guys (that's why I don't have any guy friends) and now it's really hard to destroy it.Now I am more aggressive with guys that try to talk to me N I think that I am sure that there's not only personality that counts for guys. That's why I am so angry coz I am not interested by good looking guys.I am interested by smart guys.

 

[Derek]

Y'know, it's alot easier to turn a smart guy into a good looking guy,

 

but a good looking dumb guy will always be dumb...

 

 

 

 

[dartanian lives]

I myself am about 5 11 and 203 lbs (for anyone who doesnt know, that means a big gut and small man boobs). I have dated a girl for two years who was skinny, and now after dumping me has become even skinnier. She dumped me because of looks, but I also have been with a girl who is double my weight. The spectrum is endless, what you need to do is worry about turning a guy on as a friend. The greater the friendship, the better opportunity at a relationship. You have been given some obstacles (which shouldnt be, but because of status quo). I guess my point is, guys who are hott usually end up fat and bald. Guys who are heavy usually dont fawn over the hot girls, we are realistic and you have to be realistic as well. Take it slow and dont give up hope. There is someone who loves you out there, period.

[Tom_Bombadil]

Hi there!

 

No, not all guys are into skinny/athletic women. Though I find them attractive, I'm actually more into "thick" women. Their bodies are just more appealing to me I guess. I like the way they fit into my arms when I hug them. Personality is what really turns me on though.

 

Its sad, but we are brainwashed as children to think that the outside appearance is what really matters. It is most unfortunate as we miss out on getting to know some really beautiful people because of this.

 

If I had a choice of marrying either a supermodel-type gal that was snotty and shallow who was only into shopping and partying, or an overweight woman who was warm, caring, genuine and liked to read, I'd definitely go with number 2. She's a keeper.

[dartanian lives]

It's true ... I look at a girl who is skinny and I am like "HOT DAMN!" but in actuality, I don't think I would want to date them or end up with them. Somewhere inside of me I like "thicker" women as well. I mean, guys will be like "gross, you have terrible taste" etc, but it doesnt phase me. Tom is also right on the personality. About 10% of a relationship involves sex or foreplay adventures. The other 90% is your compatability and the mental attraction between the people. I mean don't feel too bad, if you want to try and lose weight do it for yourself, not anyone else. And trust me, just because you are heavy doesnt mean a guy wont get turned on when he sees you in the natural, it depends on the guy and your connection.

 

Hit Tom Up ... he has the answers.

[Shinobie]

I'm not that bad into it but i tend to like girls that are about my size because im 6 ft and only 130 pounds because i take after the long lankiness of my dads british side.Like the girl i like right now is prolly about 5'10 and a lil wider then me iono i guess its just all in opinion.But when it comes down to looks i have a broader range of looking at girls then most guys.Some girls that i tend to think are pretty my friends think that they are not really that much so im not big on the whole perfect look thing except for size thats my only thing.