Better late than never? "Doing two guys at once"

[digitaldiva]

From my past experience I should know lying can lead to awful things within any type of relationship.. I have been dating this guy for about the past two months.. We are not officially together but we are taking things slow to see where they will lead. About 2 months ago I met another nice guy... We talked on the phone a few times. Nothing serious and while I was in Atlanta this past weekend I saw the new nice guy. We had only a brief conversation because I went there to visit friends and hang out not to specfically see him... last night me and this new friend had an extremley long conversation... We had to talk for at least 4 hours.... But I did something very wrong..............................He asked me if I was dating anyone and I told him NO. Now I feel horrible about it. Is there anyway to redeem myself?? I should have just been honest with him....

[sphinx999]

Yes you should but you can easily redeem your slef, by saying that your are not technically going out with any one but you are seeing some one. That w2ay you only told a half lie

sphinx xx

[Princess777]

I think you should just be honest and tell him, Look, there's something I need to tell you, I have been dating someone else for a little while but it is not serious and that is understood on both sides. I am not really looking for a serious relationship right now but I would like to see you again because I enjoy talking with you. This way he doesn't feel pressured either..... I don't think he'll hold it against you for the white lie in the beginning....

 

Another option is to stop seeing the other guy, then you wouldn't be lying and you won't have to say anything about it again anyway.

[woobiegirl]

Just my personal opinion, ...but I think any lie eventually catches up with you and brings doubt to any beginning whether it's friendship or a potential dating relationship.

 

Next time you talk to him you could bring up his question and say you would like to clarify your reply. Simply say you have a friend you see on occasion, after all...he may be seeing other people casually too. If you have an exclusive agreement with anyone, that would change your situtation, but it doesn't sound like you do. You obviously said "no" because you have an interest in him.

 

Woobiegirl

"No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved"

"Amanymous"

[Nifty_Swifty1]

A lie is a lie, and all you can do is to correct that lie. Go back and tell the WHOLE truth. If you lie that makes you a lire, and as long as that lie continues you remain a lire. You redeem yourself by going and saying that you were wrong to not speak the truth and ask for the guy's forgiveness. If it were me I would tell my guy too, but that's just because I'm the kind of guy that admires when someone will tell the truth even when it's the hardest thing to do. That's the fastest way for a woman to gain my trust, to confess the little things and take responsibility for her actions when she could have well gotten away with them simply by not saying anything. I guess I should warn that most guys aren't like me, so you should use your own judgment.

[Princess777]

I just want to clarify that I don't condone lying to anyone..... I guess what I really meant to say was, I really think you should tell him the truth if you want to pursue a relationship with him and if you feel really bad, but if you don't want to see the other guy anymore anyway, break up with him, then you don't have to worry about feeling so guilty. You didn't really lie as long as you break up with the old guy... I consider it a lie if you continue to see both of them. He didn't ask, have you been seeing anyone? He asked, Are you seeing anyone? And you could have decided right then, NO I'm not, (not anymore!)..... I don't think that is dishonest at all and I think you're blowing it out of proportion... it's not like this new guy is your husband or anything..... you barely know him, you don't owe him your unconditional love right now.... it would be different if he were your actual boyfriend and you lied..... (a big no-no). I would consider him an acquaintance at this point, and I personally don't feel I owe acquaintances any details about my personal life. It's not lying, it's just keeping your private life private.

Don't take this the wrong way, I just don't think you need to worry about it.... It's not like you cheated on the guy, I think it boils down to the fact that you don't have to disclose personal information if you choose not to do so.