Do women actually think about whether a guy likes them or not?

[Nutz]

Comments in blue.

[agatha]

1- yes, I can spend days thinking of a guy I talked to only once. probably never do a thing about it, (because I'm not really up to start searching my other half right now) but I'll enjoy experimenting the feelings in my mind.

 

2- to state or not to state? depends on the girl, and depends on what you want from her as well. I would not lose interest on a guy that plainly said 'I like you a lot, wanna go on a date and see if we can work?' (actually, I have had that twice. one of the times we both agreed that no, it wouldn't work. the second, I got really in love and then he dumped me T_T). but I like things straight forward, simple and clean. besides, what is the point of making a girl fall in love with you if all you want from her is sex? too manipulative to me X p

 

what is tricky about stating things is that you lose that aura of mistery and romance some cherish so much (funny, I find daily life so romantic... those boring and dull things like shopping, eating together, talking about the news while doing the dishes and all). also, sometimes actions don't match words (which is why I ignore words if actions don't match), and that can be confusing if you give words too much attention.

[Nutz]

In short, don't go to women seeking to understand women. Go to a wise person seeking to understand women. Or better yet, go to many and become yourself a wise person. More importantly, learn that it is you who must improve and grow in order to more effectively pursue women. Understanding yourself allows you to pursue without tripping on every ill step or following every wrong path you encounter. Understanding women only puts you more at peace with the universal truth that we all already know; that humans are a very silly race.

 

I agree that guys should get experience and learn what works for themselves. However, until they get that experience they should be looking to men who are successful with women to find out what works. And in this regard there are really only two options: Naturals and Pickup Artists. Most naturals I've found don't really know why they have success, just that they do. The PUAs on the other hand have learned what works, what women respond to, etc. That's why they find success. It's a synthetic improvement of social savvy, but in the end it's the same goals people come here for: help getting success in relationships. The PUAs just happen to have a very structured approach to the whole deal.

[whes]

oh god yes...

[Sparchitecht]

I agree that guys should get experience and learn what works for themselves. However, until they get that experience they should be looking to men who are successful with women to find out what works. And in this regard there are really only two options: Naturals and Pickup Artists. Most naturals I've found don't really know why they have success, just that they do. The PUAs on the other hand have learned what works, what women respond to, etc. That's why they find success. It's a synthetic improvement of social savvy, but in the end it's the same goals people come here for: help getting success in relationships. The PUAs just happen to have a very structured approach to the whole deal.

 

Personally I wouldn't ask advice directly from either type. Speaking in person almost always dilutes the words of value with drivel and flarf until they are of no value. I say, start reading. Genuine e-books, not stuff posted by random 3-sentence-warriors. Stick with the stuff that sounds more common-sensical; if there's a chapter on analyzing what direction the girl's feet point when standing in a lineup, take with plenty a grain of salt.

[Nutz]

Personally I wouldn't ask advice directly from either type. Speaking in person almost always dilutes the words of value with drivel and flarf until they are of no value. I say, start reading. Genuine e-books, not stuff posted by random 3-sentence-warriors. Stick with the stuff that sounds more common-sensical; if there's a chapter on analyzing what direction the girl's feet point when standing in a lineup, take with plenty a grain of salt.

 

Yes and no. Some of the best advice I've ever encountered were things that at first blush were quite counter intuitive. The common sense stuff is generally good advice though. Once I gave some stuff that was counter intuitive a go and finally got into the nuts and bolts of attraction and body language things starting becoming clear as day.

 

Following your example about the feet, while it's not always a reliable sign of interest, watching where their belly button is pointing is a good way of guaging interest. If you have an entire conversation and she never faces directly at you, there's a good chance she's not interested or is more interested in leaving for whatever reason. This often correlates to the which way the toes are pointing, so there is truth to that. You just have become aware of the context.

[dr_styles]

One thing I'll definitely agree with on Nutz is just how here and in other threads he goes back to what essentially happens in real-life (sure plenty of girls here say they want this or that ... but if you're eNA well, yeah).

 

As much as I think the PUA stuff sounds lame, over-the-top and without sounding too righteous just beyond my overly-conditioned morales, I will admit it probably would work. It might not be perfect, but if you want some success to start somewhere.

 

Like a lot that's mentioned on eNA, it doesn't translate to what people see. Ask me if girls like guys or girls think about guys, my answer purely on what I see would be no, even though I still know it's true, to an extent. Depressing stuff ...

[COtuner]

Maybe the guys on here need to read some books that girls like to read, that talk about things that women share in common. one theme that always shows up in books involving single women is the non stop thinking about why a guy said this, why a guy did that, and the whole spiralling imaginary scenarios about what could happen and so on. Most conversation I hear between single women is all about "what if" regarding a guy.

[t3nder_v1ttl3s]

If this is true then I guess I will never hit it off with a woman. I just don’t care for games. I do tend to put women on pedestals. It doesn’t mean I become so tongue tied that I can’t talk to them but if I like them then I like them. So basically I have to act like an ass and pretend that I don’t like them in order to get them to like me?

[Nutz]

If this is true then I guess I will never hit it off with a woman. I just don’t care for games. I do tend to put women on pedestals. It doesn’t mean I become so tongue tied that I can’t talk to them but if I like them then I like them. So basically I have to act like an ass and pretend that I don’t like them in order to get them to like me?

 

It's less being an ass and more not being a wuss. Don't put them on a pedestal no matter what though. It leads to coming off as needy/clingy and being a doormat.

[COtuner]

If this is true then I guess I will never hit it off with a woman. I just don’t care for games. I do tend to put women on pedestals. It doesn’t mean I become so tongue tied that I can’t talk to them but if I like them then I like them. So basically I have to act like an ass and pretend that I don’t like them in order to get them to like me?

 

No, don't listen to Nutz. I don't know what type of women he goes after, but mixed signals and arrogant crap will turn me off from a guy so fast it's not even funny. In my case that he referenced to try to "prove" his point, I was angry and hurt that he switched gears on me so fast. I was not laying in bed dreaming of sex, I was laying in bed wondering why this guy turned into such an a-hole....

[Sparchitecht]

If this is true then I guess I will never hit it off with a woman. I just don’t care for games. I do tend to put women on pedestals. It doesn’t mean I become so tongue tied that I can’t talk to them but if I like them then I like them. So basically I have to act like an ass and pretend that I don’t like them in order to get them to like me?

 

There is nothing universally true in the world of mating. A blanket statement such as "All women are interested in X" or "Women will love it if Y" or "You'll get success if you do Z" cannot apply with omni-accuracy beyond the ones we all already consider to be common-sense automatically. Women differ as much as situations and circumstances differ, and it is just as much the circumstance in which your behaviors occur that can tip the scale oh-so-much of the time. Remember to keep in mind there are many things playing a part in relationships and communication. For a simple sentence to accurately describe all the variables is in many cases utterly absurd. If this were the case then picking up women would be like Hollywood's version of "casting a spell". Do these steps, say these ancient cryptic words, cut up a cat, all before 2:55 am EST on Superbowl Sunday, and magically "X" will occur. Communication on the dating scene has more in common with Chaos Theory than it will ever have with the 5 Steps to Success syndrome.

[Yanet]

Nutz's advice is good. As he said before in this thread, don't take dating advice (for men) from women. If you verbalize any attraction you're likely to just get led along and used. And if you want to be used then you must have no self respect.

 

The solution isn't to act like an ass. You should have many options to choose from such that you will naturally be less needy on one woman, less likely to put her on a pedestal and find it easier to chat with her. Then it won't be pretending you don't like her that much, it'll be genuine. She has to prove to you why she's so great.

[COtuner]

The only advice I give is what's worked with me or people I know. Never promised that it would be applicable to anyone else. I've helped a few shy and dateless people meet someone and get married, so I can't be wildly outside the boundaries of what really happens out there.

 

As to Yanet's point, that's more common sense, to me. Being desperate and needy isn't the same as expressing interest and an attraction to someone. As for proving that she is great... well, if that's the case, how about the guys do the same for us? Just because you have an excess of testosterone and some hair pomade doesn't make you God's gift to my future (an attitude which I surprisingly see quite a bit, even at my age)

[Yanet]

As to Yanet's point, that's more common sense, to me. Being desperate and needy isn't the same as expressing interest and an attraction to someone. As for proving that she is great... well, if that's the case, how about the guys do the same for us? Just because you have an excess of testosterone and some hair pomade doesn't make you God's gift to my future (an attitude which I surprisingly see quite a bit, even at my age)

 

LOL

 

The only times I've criticized someone for showing interest is when they are being led along. Otherwise I always advise guys to flirt and ask the girl out. Why do girls have to impress guys? Because in society men nearly always make the first move and initiate things. Hence, men choose who they want to date and spend time with. Of course the guy doing this should be appearing confident and attractive to whoever he's talking to. Problems arise when a guy obsesses over one girl and tries to do anything to appease her.

 

And I don't know if I have too much testosterone and I use wax Are you in your late 30s? I'm probably a bit over decade younger than you then and would have to agree greasy middle aged men don't belong anywhere outside a brothel.

[hei]

Nutz seems to come straight off of a PUA website, c/p'ing whatever info's there

 

Yanet's saying pretty much the same thing as the essence of Nutz' posts. Just wrapping it up bit more neat before delivering to non-PUAs.

 

You just have to read between the lines, and it starts to make more sense COtuner.

[ghost69]

i think it's one of the biggest things women think about. especially with a new guy.

[COtuner]

Nutz seems to come straight off of a PUA website, c/p'ing whatever info's there

 

Yanet's saying pretty much the same thing as the essence of Nutz' posts. Just wrapping it up bit more neat before delivering to non-PUAs.

 

You just have to read between the lines, and it starts to make more sense COtuner.

 

LOL Same as dating... always have to read between the lines to figure out what the other person is after...

 

And yes, Yanet, I'll be 39 this summer, at least according to the calendar. I think the rest of me hasn't caught up yet.... well, except my ability to heal from sports injuries