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Well I still have no change in my situation, my ex is still pregnant and still wants nothing to do with me. I haven't contacted her for nearly three weeks now.

 

Its so hard because of the baby, and it appears I'm damned if I do or damned if I don't.

I went through the usual stuff of telling her that I loved her but like most on here this seemed to push her further away. I still hold on to the glimmer of hope that it is the shock of being pregnant and the hormones that are making her act like this towards me. I will give her space so that she can sort her head out and then she may be ready to discuss us at some point. I'm still worried that by me not contacting her she will view it as if I am not concerned about the baby.

 

I want to move on and recover but feel that this is impossible because of the baby. Me and my ex will now be connected for the rest of our childs life, and she holds all the cards.

 

I have written a song, which is more for me than for her. As I think if she heard it she would view it as manipulation. Thats the way her mind is working at the moment.

 

Its link removed if you want to listen (broadband recommended.

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This is a really tricky situation because of the baby. I'm not totally sure that indefinate no contact is the best idea for the exact reason that you said. It would make it seem to think you don't care about the baby.

 

I suggest you contact her no more often than monthly just to see how she is doing, how the pregnancy is going, and whether she needs anything. This gives her the space she needs, while still keeping you in touch with the development of your child. Perhaps there are some expenses she will run into for the pregnancy that you can help with.

 

As it gets closer to the due date, then its time to try having a serious talk about how the baby will be raised. There is little you can do until the baby is born as far as legal rights and such, but it will be much easier to assert some custody and visitation rights if you have attempted to remain in contact throughout the pregnancy. If she won't take your calls, I suggest sending a certified letter with return receipt and keep a copy of what you sent. Then you can prove you at least TRIED to stay in touch for the sake of the child.

 

I will be praying for you and for the unborn child's safety. Its the best I can do right now. But I do hope your ex has a change of heart and will not make it difficult for you to participate in your childs life.

 

avman

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Benzonar,

 

definitely a tricky situation.

 

I am not even sure if explaining why you are not contacting her would work. I really feel for you. Fortunately in this day and age they are a little more willing to work with the father on visitation. Or so I have been told by my lawyer. My wife is trying to keep my time with my daughter to as little as possible. I don't understand it, but I am sure in her mind she has very good reasons (sarcasam)

 

Regardless if she won't listen to a thing you say there is not much you can do. I would at least try and let her know the reasons why you are not bothering her. Maybe if you can talk to her mother if she will listen to you. You could explain it to her how you feel, where you stand, and why you are going to leave her alone. But let her know you want to be involved in your childs life!!

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