feeling wierd about something "good" about to happ

[colly]

Hello everyone, its been about a months since my posts on here and I am on and off at the moment.

 

For whatever reasons I shall never understand I broke off my relationship only to find it could not be reconciled and whilst I still have hopes I am beginning to think they will not amount to much and am more hurt that it appears to have meant nothing to her as she appears to be getting on just fine.

 

 

Still, this is not entirely the point of my posting

 

Some history, quick and simple. – Some trust issues for me (despite constant reassurance) regarding an incident between my best "mate" and her are involved. Hence I was insecure and over protective. So, with her moving away to university, this was clearly an issue for me.

 

This of course no longer matters as we are separated before her moving.

 

So for me the fact she is going away is I suppose good (despite the fact I am jealous that she now has more opportunity to move on than I do due to the environment she will be surrounded in)

 

However, as you do, not letting go, I sort of figured that she would always have ties with her family living around here and would be about now and then.

 

Anyway, now it seems they are moving too – so that's it, over and done with. No more reason to ever see them all again

 

Its like fate that, had we been together with her at uni, she wouldn't have been back much as no longer has family here?

 

 

But hearing this news, the situation as it is well, this should be a good thing for me right? So why do I feel so sick to the stomach over it?

 

I feel like its all happened so suddenly and one day soon when i drive past it will all be gone.

 

I have no real questions in this topic, but perhaps some observations might be interesting from people.

 

Thankyou, as ever.

 

Ps I really need some stuff back and since I have had no contact (for reasons I did actually expect some) I need to contact to get it back or find out when its coming. Not wanting to contact for "no contact" reasons, plus that it will knock me back several steps how do I go about this?

 

^^^I guess I do have questions!^^^

[woobiegirl]

Hey Colly,

 

Since I don't have the history of your prior posts, I can only go by what you wrote today. Sounds like you may have broken off your relationship, but your heart wasn't really in it. Maybe your relationship was missing something...and thought suggesting the break up would strengthen it, or you assumed you would get back together and it would be stronger...sounds like it may have backfired?

 

I may be wrong, but it sounds like the break-up may have been easier for her since moving to a new location, new surroundings, new friends and is probably keeping very busy with school. You are the one still near her family and surroundings which is a constant reminder of her. Now that her family is moving as well, it is giving you an empty feeling which is understandable. At least with the prospect of her visiting her family, it gave you a sense of security that she would be back on occasion and that at least was something to look forward to. It also sounds like she's having an easier time with the split than you, and that always hurts because it gives the impression the other person didn't care as much as you did. I do thnk though, that breakups always affect both involved, it's just that we all handle it differently. Some just cover it up and hide the pain.

 

If you still need contact to get back some persoanl things, can you e-mail her? It might be easier than talking over the phone.

 

I wish you well,

 

Take care,

Woobiegirl

[colly]

Wow. You are bang on with you understanding of my situation! i cannot believe you figured all that . Are you phsychic?

 

Yes, stuff was missing from our relationship, or atleast i felt it was. She had become comfortable - too comfortable. So my breakup was to get some response. Daft huh....

 

Ironically, about 1 hour after posting this she did contact me (spooky given one month on)

 

She said i have my stuff back soon. I asked why she seemed to avoid talking about us and i have heard nothing since that so thats probably another error on my part since i suspect she still wants to do this" friends thing"

 

How you say stuff like she said and propose to make commitments one day and forget everything the next is beyond me - but still such is life i can only carry on and see what the next day brings me i suppose.

 

thankyou

 

collyx