boyfriend finished off in the bathroom

[lilsmc]

so the other night my boyfriend and i were having sex.. i really wanst planning on having sex because we had somewhere to go but apparently he was extremely horny and so i gave in lol.

Last month we had a scare because my period came extremely late and we were both freaking out about it. We dont use condoms as much as we should so it was s scarey situation. thankfully my period came so it was a great relief.

 

anyways, going back to the other night. we were having sex, it was starting to get pretty good but then all the sudden he stops. im like what jst happened?? he gets up and hes like we'll just finish off later.. im like um okay?? so i figured he didnt want to delay our plans.

 

He goes to the bathroom to clean up as he usually does, but this time he was in the for quiet some time. So my first thought was "he is finishing himself off in the bathroom" he turned on the ventilator so i would not hear him. i was like what the hell just happened!? i felt soo offended because he has never done that before.

 

The reason we stopped is because he didnt want to hold back our plans

but then he storms into the bathroom to finish off. I was so mad!!

 

i asked him why he did that and he said he was close to coming and he didnt want to risk coming inside me which i understand but usually i will finish him off by giving him oral sex which i really enjoy doing, but i dont see why he had to go into the bathroom to do this??

IS THIS normal??

[Isha]

Given that you both thought you were pregnant last month because you don't use condoms reliably then I'd say yes that would be a normal reaction to unprotected sex at first. Maybe he got heated up and then the thought struck him when he was about to ejaculate and he freaked out.

 

handy tip: Condoms only work if you use them every time.

[purpleduckie]

i really don't understand why you would take a chance like that. why, people??? obviously he's not ready for the kid so he'd rather do it to a toilet bowl than to you. i would too, it's nothing personal. it has nothing to do with wanting sex with you, i'm sure he does want that.

[yonkeehoi]

All due respect - why aren't you on the pill?

[lavenderdove]

If you had a recent pregnancy scare and he doesn't want a child with you, of course he's scared about coming in you, and might be afraid that he might leak too soon.

 

Is there any chance he suspects you of intentionally trying to get pregnant when he doesn't want a baby? If that is the case, he may not want to come in any situation where sperm might end up in your vagina (including not trusting you enough to try to impregnate yourself by 'borrowing' his sperm and inserting a finger in yourself to try to get pregnant even if he is not inserted in you.

 

I'd just practice better birth control, getting on the pill and using a condom every time, and your sex life should return to normal.

[Nixee]

I completely agree with everyone else that he is probably freaked out by the pregnancy scared and that you two should be more safe... however...

 

If you had made the decision to go about things unprotected anyways, and he had pulled out before finishing and then decided to finish up anyways.... why go off and do it in private?

 

I tend to agree with you that this is odd and it is a communication problem. If he has the self control to stop and pull out before finishing (as it seems he did)... why not finish outside on you, with you, orally, or whatever? Why in private?

 

If I were you, I would:

 

a) make it a priority to get birth control back in the picture, reliably

 

and b) talk to him about what made him feel he had to do that in private, letting him know that he really didn't, without being angry or accusatory

[vertigoxo]

A combination of birth control and condoms sure does help you in the long run. Trust me on this.

[agent1607307371]

I completely understand where he's coming from.

 

Get on the pill (or the like) and start using condoms properly.

 

The next time it might not just be a scare.

[laisla]

i asked him why he did that and he said he was close to coming and he didnt want to risk coming inside me which i understand but usually i will finish him off by giving him oral sex which i really enjoy doing, but i dont see why he had to go into the bathroom to do this??

IS THIS normal??

 

you have your answer...he probably wasn't thinking of oral, he was probably just frustrated and wanted to get it over with ASAP.

[diabolik]

If you had made the decision to go about things unprotected anyways, and he had pulled out before finishing and then decided to finish up anyways.... why go off and do it in private?

 

I tend to agree with you that this is odd and it is a communication problem. If he has the self control to stop and pull out before finishing (as it seems he did)... why not finish outside on you, with you, orally, or whatever? Why in private?

I agree with this. OP, like you, I've never been good about using condoms in a LTR, even if the girl is not on the pill. But I have never stopped sex to finish off in private - there's just too many better options as Nixee points out.

[Simplicity1]

I don't think you should be mad at him - you should ask him how he feels about the whole situation, talk it out. If it turns out that he's still scared, maybe you can start by letting him finish off in front of you if you don't want him running off to the bathroom to do it by himself. Also, let him know how you feel about the whole thing (but don't be mad, guys can be quite defensive, and are generally more receptive when you calmly bring things up).