stella74 Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 This is a really good post BellaDonna. I had this come up for me recently. I rarely burn bridges, unless a friendship is very toxic. One friendship I ended many years ago was with an old girlfriend who had something to do with the sexual assault I experienced when I was 13. After all these years, she found me on facebook and sent me a friend request. I declined it. She sent me a second request. I was going to let it go, but then I saw it as an opportunity to let her know why I no longer wanted to be friends. I sent her a message and she wrote back with an apology. She wanted to renew the friendship. I told her I forgave her but that it wasn't in my best interest to be friends again. In my mind, burning bridges has a negative connotation, such as a falling out filled with anger. Ending a friendship can be a positive thing if it's simply letting go. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I think people hesitate to burn bridges because of fear. They would rather hang on to something no matter how much it hurts them than risk being lonely. I would much rather risk being alone than have to cling on to people who don't care for me. That's just a waste of time. Move on, move on!!! Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I've had some nasty crash and burn experiences, where the bridge wasn't burned -- it was atomized. Each single atom of the bridge, electrons, protons, neutrons, quarks in a hydrothermrmal nuclear explosion -- vaporized. Other times, things just faded away and no contact was made. The only girl I'm going out with now so far we are getting along well. Most sane girl so far and I think it will work out. Link to comment
candykisses Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I've burned a few bridges with exes, friends etc. and it was the best thing I could have done. Some people are toxic and need to be out of your life. I don't think I've ever ended up reconnecting with anyone I've purposely avoided. I don't burn a bridge unless I'm absolutely sure I must. Yeah, I'm with Binoo. I rarely burn bridges - it is not a part of my personal philosophy. However, I do burn bridges when I'm absolutely sure it has to be done. There were only two occasions in my life where I had to, and they were both exes. And when I do, I don't look back, ever. Link to comment
candykisses Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Some bridges need to be burned. I only adopt this philosophy of not burning bridges in my professional world. If someone in my personal life was a total ass to me, their bridge can be burnt and buried. lol Well summed. Link to comment
noneStar Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Could be that. Could also be a high level of compassion. Or perhaps a combination of the two. Saying you could never be a dumper sounds like you're saying you couldn't leave someone even if they were bad for you. That sounds like low self esteem. To say you could never hate or dismiss someone you loved sounds like you have compassionate heart. So based on what you're saying, I'd say it sounds like a little of both. "bad" for you? I guess, it depends how "bad". if i accept someone, i accept them. it would take something awful for me to stop contact with them. i guess that's why i can't deal with NC too well, from my ex. it makes me think i did something awful and i feel incredibly guilty. i can't deal with crash and brush, not at all. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I'll put it this way. I don't like to burn bridges with people and hope people don't want to burn bridges with me. I always believe in forgiveness and "letting go" is something I have a hard time dealing with. Link to comment
cykosomatik Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 sometimes, some bridges need to be torched, TNTed and such. B/c you know that's not the bridge you ever want to be on, ever again. But that does not mean that you can't forgive and move on. Link to comment
ellandroader Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 I hate to burn bridges too but when I made such a big effort to repair it when it was creaking and the other person wasn't, then I will reluctantly disband it at the end. For my own dignity and preservation because quite frankly, you should be treated better by a mate and if they can't do that or face the problems, why stay in touch? Link to comment
waveseer Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 One thing I have learned, if the other person really cares about you they will forgive you for burning the bridge even if they are done interacting with you. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 One thing I have learned, if the other person really cares about you they will forgive you for burning the bridge even if they are done interacting with you. I wish that were the case with me. I would love it if one of my "friends" forgave me. Link to comment
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