Is this a rebound relationship?

[lovetodance]

I would like to thank everyone in advance for all of your help and insight!

 

Here's my story...

Been going out with a guy for 3 months (hes 19, I'm 17). He broke up with girlfriend of 3 years 7 months ago. Still had deep feelings of love for her when they broke up, however they spent too much time together and he needed to find himself. We were friends for first 3 months after their breakup, he still had contact with her and they planned on getting back together one day. They ended up "giving up" and we started going out soon after.

 

Fast forward three months and our relationship is perfect. He is the most loving and caring boyfriend I've ever had and we just really click. All of my friends tell me how lucky I am to have found him and I completely agree. We are even to the point now where the two of us have begun to say "I Love You". My problem is that recently my friend brought up the fact that I may be his rebound since he never really resolved his feelings for his ex. They don't talk anymore but they are on pretty good terms and I know that she still loves him very much ( I don't know about his feelings for her). Is it possible for him to have moved on to me so much and actually love me or do you think that all of these are signs of a classic rebound relationship? Do relationships that progress so fast and seem so intense usually last? We've talked about how we are each others saviour and we really just have an amazing time together and would always like to be with one another. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[S4il]

Well first I'd like to say welcome to eNotalone.com it's a pleasure to have you here.

 

Now to your post, I would first like to bring up this "friend" of yours and what exactly she said, about you being his rebound...Thinking about this for only a limited time, i came to the conclusion that it's almost as thow that isn't the case, it's been 3 years, and even thow the feelings remain, from both sides in the past. when time goes on and people find new people, those feelings that were once there are no longer reciprocal..

 

(i think it's safe to say his focus is with you, Not the Ex...!)

 

What I'm Trying too say is sometimes those feelings don't always remain with someone, they dissipate, and start to close out, That probably has already happened, with you being his new girlfriend, the old one * I THINK* isn't in his mind anymore, so i would tell you personally "don't worry about it" and don't let it rent space in your head, that isn't healthy.

 

Also I think your Quote-un-Quote "friend" should of said nothing like that, even if it's a best friend, sometimes things are better left Un-said, especially if they would conflict with a relationship, or hurt some ones feelings...If a friend told me something along what you were told it would undoubtly put me on the Defensive side, So from here on out, i would just let everything she says, that sounds fallacious, play the role of the Duck, just let it roll off your back like water.

 

Really your looking at what you have, And that is something that is important to you, and that your B/F feels the same way, Don't let somebody tell you other wise, your the one making the judgements in the relationship...although it's doesn't hurt to seek advice, that is why you came here, correct?

 

I'll Sum up everything above with these simple words

 

Don't let what that friend said bother you, You have nothing to worry about.

[sweetharmony]

it seems as if this guy really cares about you, so live in the moment.he did have some time to heal after the breakup. if he literrally went right into the relationship w/ you within weeks or before two months, then i'd worry. but you can never tell. some work, some don't. i must warn you though, be cautious. Don't get so emotionally invested so quickly. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years b/c i was bored and i didn't feel loved anymore. that exciting romance was gone and i needed something else. i needed to feel that someone was passionate about me. i think the breakup for me was harder than for him. well, this guy who had liked me so much moved in and at first it was wonderful- i thought i met my soulmate- the exciting feelings of love were there- he told me that he was in love w/ me and wanted to marry me after only a few months he said it was destiny- well, once the initial wave of "love" or lust subsided abit, my rose colored glasses came off and i didn't know what the hell i was doing- i started missing ex who i loved so much and resented this new guy. well, i'm not saying this will happen to you, because it isn't the same situation, but hose exciting feelings of "love" wear off a bit, then the real love comes- the securty and knowing that that person will be there for you always. That's when you'll know. that feeling of being in love can last a long time, but the true test is just time. we have to put out hearts out there and just see. I'd give anything to have that security again over the "being in love" that doesn't always last. you may be luckyand get both. Good luck!