*Will He EVER propose???*

[helpme21]

I will admit at first when we started planning out our future like we have we had those scary are we too young to be doing this thoughts. But we keep planning you know? We have 30 yr fixed mortgage. We plan on paying off our house by 30. WE talk about traveling together. We always do road trips together. We had our time apart because we were in high school and thought that there was more to life. We did lots of things beneficial to our twenties as a previous post mentioned. He traveled to Ireland. I went to Mexico for a month. We dated others and had relationships. We are back together because we consider each other the one person that we always thought about as the best person they could have dated. We love each other and may seem to be acting mature for our ages. If we just moved in together and didn't have the future plans, that would be a different story. We have constantly talked about getting married. For example, our anniversary is on Christmas. We always talked about getting married on New Year's so we would have a long celebration about being together. We aren't dumb naive children. Our parents married young and divorced. We see what could go wrong. We had our fears about that kind of thing. But we love each other and know what we want. We wouldn't have moved in together if we didn't. I expect the family pressure from my side of the family because they are looking out for their daughter. But his side of the family is driving me nuts. I mentioned how I would like my engagement ideally. But everyone already thinks we have been engaged for a year. How do we annonce when it finally happens, if it happens. And I have mentioned in 1 of the 3 talks I had with him about geting angaged, that I said "oh, if you don't I'll propose" as a joke and he seemed genuinely revolted by the idea. He insists he has to do it. So I can't propose to him, he'll say no and get annoyed. So see my predictament. I am just getting impatient because we planned to get engaged and he hasn't popped the question. It seems like his family stole our thunder.

[Hope75]

To me engagement is the period of time when you are actively planning a wedding. You can be committed and plan to marry without the ring, and get the ring and the proposal when you are actually ready to plan and pay for a wedding. Long term engagements never made sense to me.

 

I think to the OP is he rejects the idea of you proposing to him that it's fair enough that you ask him what sort of a timeline you two are looking at, and let him know when you want to be married by. After all, you bought a house with him and have shared investments, and you have a right to know where this relationship is heading and when.

[purpleJ]

I think the pressure your family and his family are giving you both could be the problem

I don't think hes not proposing cause he isnt sure about you, cause obviously his actions say he is so its just a matter of being ready..i would wait it out for a bit..talk about it properly once so you know what time frame youre looking at and then drop it and wait if he still hasnt by the end of that time then you have to make a decision

 

but yeah i also dont like long engagements, you shud only get engaged because you are ready to get married straight away otherwise whats the point..what you guys have together seems like marriage anyway

[Inked1]

Coming from a incredibly similar situation, high school sweethearts who split up and reunited, bought a house prior to engagement and a long term relationship with family pressure I can say that if you have had the marriage discussion and are on the same page, it will come.

 

It is so much harder from our side because the ball is in his court. I also feel pretty traditional about proposals so asking him was not an option. He gets to think, ring shop and plan while you get to just wait for it to happen. So I know what you mean when you say the waiting really rots.

 

His parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles and the like always loved to catch me in solo moments at holidays and ask ME when are you two getting engaged? I would usually brush it off with a funny retort (After he proposes, Ask Mike...etc) and asked him privately to please have them stop doing that because I found it hurtful.

 

Once he did propose, he let me know he had bought the ring a few months ago but wanted to wait for the perfect moment. Not once until the actual proposal weekend did I think it might be happening soon. You said you graduate soon, I would think it will come after that, once school is finished everyone feels a bit more adult and settled.

 

So yeah, the waiting sucks, but I wouldn't worry it won't happen, you just get stuck waiting for it to happen.