I can't seem to find happiness in life lately

[Imissher]

Hi everyone,

I'd like to start off by saying, I don't make this post to whine, complain, or look for sympathy. I just want a life change.

 

For the last year or so, I haven't been as happy in life. In high school (while I was living in Florida), I had tons of friends, a great social life, everything was great. I was active on the schools football team, and was constantly out with my friends. I had so many plans for the future. I was happy everyday and felt very satisfied in my life.

 

About 2.5 years ago, I moved to Kentucky with my family. My father had a job transfer that moved us here. I am currently 19 years old. Since I moved here, I have been in a "funk". I keep in contact with quite a few of my close friends. I finished high school right after moving here and didn't have time to really make friends. After living in Kentucky for about 1.5 years that started to change. I started working a job with tons of other college kids.

 

I've made quite a few friends since starting this job. I have a fairly active social life. That's hard though since my job is during the graveyard shift (11 pm to 9 am).

 

I am trying to find joy in life, but I can't do it. I tried to do a semester of college, but I hate school. I had lots of will power when I was working towards my brewing/distillation degree (I'm a brewer and occasionally work at local breweries). As of until Jan 09 the school was accepting people who were at least 18 years old. This year they changed that to no one under 21 will be permitted. I lost a lot of my drive in school. My job pays for my school, but I still ended up dropping out of school.

 

Now I've been sitting around trying to work towards something that will improve my life. I can't sit here and make $9.50 an hour forever. I want a family someday and I want to provide for them. Recently I have been talking to the military, to find some sort of work that will help me with a degree in my future. I like this idea to some extent. I hate the idea of being owned and gone for 4 years though. I love being free, but I have no drive to carry on.

 

After I get my pre-reqs out of the way I will be 20 years old, or very close. After that I have to wait until I'm 22 because the class starts over in Jan and I won't be 21 until Feb.

 

I feel trapped, and I feel like I'm running out of options. I am so depressed. I don't sleep much, or eat much. Each day I wake up and feel bad. I figure if I go into the military I will be out when I'm 23 - 24. That's still young, but maybe I will be missing out on 4 great years of being young.

 

I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but I keep thinking it would just be easier to shoot myself. I don't have to worry about leaving, getting an education, being owned my the military.

 

I just want that drive in my life again. I want that happy feeling I had long ago. It's more than all this. I have felt out of place ever since I left my hometown of Portland Oregon. That was about 8 years ago. I was happy in Florida, but I still felt a bit out of place. I don't know whats going on with me. :sad:

 

Any suggestions?

[ellandroader]

Hiya,

 

I can relate to exactly how you feel. Mind you, you are only going on 20, you have PLENTY of time to get things right, trust me. I think you are struggling in a transitional state right now. I felt the same when I emigrated from England to here at 21. The move was too much, considering things were rough as well. I had grown up in Yorkshire, with what I knew and believed and Florida was just so so different. I couldnt believe it.

 

I got out of it by keeping busy, I threw myself into new things. Volunteering, sports etc etc and slowly it started to come right. You won't ever feel 100% away from home because your home is your home - again I know how it feels. But work kept me busy, I made sure I had things to look forward to too.

 

I am not sure what advice I can offer other than to keep at it. You are at a transitional stage and the military may not be the answer. You will be a LONG way away if that doesn't feel right.

 

No, shooting yourself isn't the answer!

[ftheunion]

maybe watchin comedy or chris farely is good

 

 

or do random stuff like fart right in your pet or siblings face, do a hardcore cannonball into a jacuzzi, try to wall run, get a slingshot and some paintballs, or dig out a bomb shelter or techno rave. Just anything that pumps you up like Joe on family guy lol

[skarlet]

I feel almost exactly the same way!

 

So much work and confusion needed to keep surviving, and what is the point of survival?

 

The only point of surviving seems to be the hope that if I survive long enough, I'll find a reason to live, and then I'll be glad that I survived.

 

But what if I never find a reason to live, or enjoy life? I think that's statistically improbable. So I keep hoping...

[Will D Ness]

Imissher and Skarlet,

 

This is going to sound a bit odd to you on an early Sunday morning perhaps but I want you to at least know that there are people out there who really care, who hurt because you're hurting. It is mainly people who have been through what you're going through and have come out alive, wishing they could help someone else. You'll be there one day, too, but for now you're trying to figure out your own way up and down the mountains.

 

What you are experiencing is quite common in life, most likely everyone experiences it to some degree or another. Here's why: you've made several major changes in a short period of time. Imissher, you graduated from high school, moved to a new state, and started college all at once. Those are all big steps and as much as we'd like to believe otherwise, our minds and emotions don't change quite as quickly as our bodies and belongings! It takes a little time to adjust emotionally to new things. Give yourself permission to "come around."

 

Right now, how can you deal with the emotions? I know it's tough and I know it sounds a bit altruistic or "cheesy" but one sure fire way to deal with these emotions is to turn your attention on other people. I know, I know, you don't "feel" like doing it. But that is exactly the point we've already made: your emotions haven't yet caught up with your physical well-being. So, we'll force the issue. Nothing makes you feel better and more productive than helping someone else. Want to test this theory? Next time you see someone with a flat on the side of the road, stop and help. Even if they don't need help, stay with them and hand them the tools. As you drive away, check your emotions: most people report they just feel "warm" inside. That is because we are all wired up to feel better about ourselves when we know we can affect our worlds.

 

You both can do this. I know you can. Perhaps this will help. I hope so.

 

I'm going to have a great day. I hope you can too. If not, come on back here. We're always here.

 

All the best.