Ex Girlfriend, desperate need of advice

[successfull]

My ex and I dated for 3 years. We had an incredibly good relationship we were very close. We stayed together her first year of college, then I found out she cheated on me this is when we split. I must add before we initially got together I wanted nothing to do with her, she chased me for months. Then I fell head over heels. So after we split I did my best to avoid her and her calls, thoough we did talk occasionally cause I didnt hate her for what she did after a little time. I mean we were so close, so I picked up a call here and there. Then about 6 months or so after the split, we saw each other out one night and she wanted to leave w. me and me being the gentleman I am of course we did, and this happened about 2-3 times and nothing became of it because I wouldnt let it, although I think she wanted more. So things cooled off again and we just talked occasionally. Another 6 months goes by and I was lonely when she called and asked to come visit me so I said sure. Now this is the first time we are getting together to do something since the split and it goes great...dinner, drinks and of course you know where it lead. That night there were a lot of I love you's being thrown around. Now I am kind of into her again and she is into me telling me she knows I am the one she is suppoed to be with "in the end" But I am getting very attached to her again and I am now doing a lot of the calling. We both want to be together eventually I think me just a litte sooner than her, how do I keep myself from calling, and not think about her all the time?

[Tinkerbell]

Exactly why do you want to keep yourself from calling and thinking about her all the time? If you love her this isn't something you should try to prevent. By the sounds of it she cares for you too, and even though you guys have gone through a lot in the past that doesn't mean you can't work things out. Love conquers all. You say you think you'll want to get back together sooner than she does, so give her some time. Just because you're giving her time doesn't mean you have to detach yourself from her though.

[Beec]

Well, I disagree with the other poster. I understand that you should not call all the time, or you are chasing your woman or seem very needy. But as how to not do it, just don't. Fight the urge to check on her. You should turn off the good stuff you give her, including attention. But while you fight the urge to do it, why no hatch some plans on how to surpirse her with soemthing good. Twenty days each with a nagging phone call does not match up to one nice evening. Should not do these thigns all the time, but hatching a plan on a month or every other month is a good thing.

[melrich]

Davew, relationships are not a game with a prescribed number of calls and rules of engagement. If two people feel strongly for each other they will usually welcome a lot of interaction, if they don't, constant interaction will be stifling. To me, if anyone in any relationship is questioning the number of times thay are calling their partner or making contact then something is wrong, there is something here in this relationship you are not computing. I would suggest you confront it and get to the answer sooner rather than later because you may be following the wrong path right now.