redhearts Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 My best friend of about 5 years. He sent me this in an e-mail to say good bye. We had agreed before that it was just better to not be friends at all since he was in love with me. Your the first girl I ever loved and the women I'll ever love. You were my best friend and the girl of my dreams. He says I stole his heart. Those words haunt me now, pop up in my head and make me cry. His e-mail made me cry, no guy has ever made me cry. I just feel so sad. He is always the first person I call if anything good happens or bad and I can't anymore. It is just really hard. I seem to have woken up every hour last night, I couldn't sleep. I didn't shed a tear when I dumped the x, but this just really got to me. Link to comment
Mutley Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 At least he got it out of his system. Although the "ever love" part was a little bit melodramatic. Sorry for the loss of your friend. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 I know that part was, but he is like that. Poetic and artistic. I feel so depressed, can't stop crying. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I had a similar situation with a friend too. It sucks and you'll miss them, but you gotta realize he is doing what he needs to do. You have different motivations for the friendship. You see him as a buddy, he sees it as a stepping stone to a relationship with you. Now that he's realized it's not going to happen...ever... he has realized he also needs to move on and find someone else, and will have a hard time doing that while you're still in contact. Those realizations helped me to see his point of view and not take it personally. So, just try and understand that he's doing this for himself, and try not to take it personally. He has feelings for you, so try and think of it as the same way as if he were an ex bf or something that did not want to be friends after the break up because he still had feelings for you and needed to heal. Link to comment
alcide Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Big mistake, it won't last, follow your heart, true love has a way of coming back to you. You can run but can't hide. It will find you. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 I was the one that told him we couldn't be friends. I didn't want to put him through more hell. I didn't know he still loved me. He agrees with me. I know its best that we aren't friends. But damn its hard. Its like literally losing someone, as if he died because I'll never see him again. Link to comment
Mutley Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Actually, I applaud this guy for being honest about it. I know that doesn't help you.... Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 It is okay. I am happy he got it off his chest, that we aren't friends because he can move on now, he can finally be happy. Thanks. Link to comment
sosilver Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I was the one that told him we couldn't be friends. I didn't want to put him through more hell. I didn't know he still loved me. He agrees with me. I know its best that we aren't friends. But damn its hard. Its like literally losing someone, as if he died because I'll never see him again. What you did was very strong, but as you know already, it the best thing for both of you...and it will be hell right now but...maybe in the future you may be able to be friends again...hang in there. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 We tried the being friends again thing before. It doesn't work. I just think deep down he is always going to feel something for me. I have to do my best to stay away for his sake. Link to comment
jengh Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 This happened to me a couple of years ago. The guy was an ex, we had been together for 4.5 years... we remained friends and made it back up to best-friends status. He was my rock...then, out of the blue, I get this 4 page e-mail from him telling me all of the many ways I have wronged him and how we could no longer speak. Apparently, he was still in love with me. I cried for weeks. Sorry this is happening to you Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 I'll be fine. I have a bad memory, but for some reason I think I been through this with him before. We thought we could be friends, ya that wasn't right because here I am again. I'll just bug all of ENA for a while until I find a new friend, lol. If that ever happens. Link to comment
Zeitgeist Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Have you ever had a relationship beyond just friendship with him? Realize that no one knows what will happen in the future. Perhaps he will get over it and you two will be able to be friends again. Perhaps you will realize you love him as well and you will be able to start a great relationship. And let's say the worst happens, this is the last you ever hear from him. The pain will go away eventually (even if you don't want it to) and you will be left with the memory that someone once loved you very deeply. Much worse things could happen to a person. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 He waited till his 20th birthday to ask me out on a date, I said okay since it was his birthday. That led to me being the first person he kissed. After that I don't recall. I know we talked a little but then just stopped talking I forgot why. Then we started talking again and well now its better to not talk at all. I do have feelings for him, but I do know that his dad, his grandpa and him all have the same name. I know how much he wants a son to pass down his name, I don't like kids AT ALL. I never will. So I know its better for us to not be talking because we want different things. Even love can't conquer all. Link to comment
stripe66506 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I would tell him that if you haven't already. Is that the only reason why you don't want to get involved in a romantic relationship with him? How old are you? That may change as the years pass by. Link to comment
redhearts Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Oh I will NEVER want kids. I know its best to back off because I do know how much, really HOW MUCH he wants to have a son and a family. Link to comment
coolgirl Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I had the same thing happen to me it feels like hell, now I understand why the man i dated did this to me. When we first met he told me he had feelings for me. I confessed I had feelings for him. Because of his committment issues he has as hard as it was letting him go now I understand on why he did what he had to do. When he told me we cant be friends anymore I was devistated because I knew in the back of my mind I couldn't stand the thought of him going out with another women and he couldn't stand me going out with another man. He cut ties with me. As hard as it is moving forward I think that is what's best for both of us to do just to move on a find a new friend. Good luck to you redhearts ! Link to comment
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