givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Then I'd probably get into it You seem like a man of few words. You would get into it how? Kiss her back for one kiss and then say goodnight? Try to make out with her on the front porch? Try to get into the sack? What exactly does "get into it" mean? Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I don't know why there has to be a thing that happened... There has to be something that causes you to feel this way. Because...she'd make me feel like a fool in front of everyone. And I'd think that's what the whole point of it was. Why would you feel like a fool? She is picking you out of every guy in the place, what is foolish about that? Because it hurts. To have someone look at you like that. They always want something then, and they think that you should be doing stuff for them. And then you feel like you should be doing things for them all the time, and it never feels like its enough and...it hurts. When two people like, love, respect and are compatible with each other, it shouldn't hurt. There may be some times that things get misunderstood, then you talk about it and you resolve it. When people love each other they don't go out of their way to hurt the other one. If that is happening then it really isn't love. Love isn't feeling hurt and guilty. It is unselfish and loving. Link to comment
Mantis Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Okay, so let's say that she did that. She asked you in private to go on a date with her, to watch a movie at her place, only you two. How would you respond? The way you replied almost sounded like you wanted her to tell you that you are doing this instead of asking if you wanted to. Well, I just meant that I want her to be completely clear about her intentions. If she just said something like, "Hey, wanna hang out and watch a movie or something?" I would still probably say yes. But I wouldn't know if it was a date or not. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 If it's on the front porch for all to see I wouldn't try to drag it out for too long. So something between options one and two Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Well, I just meant that I want her to be completely clear about her intentions. If she just said something like, "Hey, wanna hang out and watch a movie or something?" I would still probably say yes. But I wouldn't know if it was a date or not. Now that is very helpful. I have done the "do you want to do something" approach because I am shy and he is shy and I don't want to seem to forward and it didn't really work. He said, that he was just going to chill because he had to work in the morning. Link to comment
amethyst exchange Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 There has to be something that causes you to feel this way. Maybe I'm just broken.... Why would you feel like a fool? She is picking you out of every guy in the place, what is foolish about that? Because...she's kissing me...which...I'd fail at...and then she'd tell everyone...and she'd find out how useless I am and then everyone else would too. Because she doesn't really want me...probably...she just wants to make me look stupid in front of everyone. When two people like, love, respect and are compatible with each other, it shouldn't hurt. There may be some times that things get misunderstood, then you talk about it and you resolve it. When people love each other they don't go out of their way to hurt the other one. If that is happening then it really isn't love. Love isn't feeling hurt and guilty. It is unselfish and loving. Bah...I can't be near people without feeling hurt and guilty...They always want things I can't give... Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 If it's on the front porch for all to see I wouldn't try to drag it out for too long. So something between options one and two So, if you live further down the street, then on the front porch is a bad approach because you would be self-conscious that your neighbors are watching you? Ok, so then where would be a good place for her to kiss you, if that is the only time she can ever get you alone? Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 So, if you live further down the street, then on the front porch is a bad approach because you would be self-conscious that your neighbors are watching you? Ok, so then where would be a good place for her to kiss you, if that is the only time she can ever get you alone? Somewhere indoors perhaps Link to comment
Mantis Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Let me add a little something then. If a girl asked me to do something with it and I wasn't absolutely sure it was a date, I would assume it wasn't a date, just to be safe. Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Maybe I'm just broken.... Because...she's kissing me...which...I'd fail at...and then she'd tell everyone...and she'd find out how useless I am and then everyone else would too. Because she doesn't really want me...probably...she just wants to make me look stupid in front of everyone. Bah...I can't be near people without feeling hurt and guilty...They always want things I can't give... I don't think you're broken, I think you just need some self-confidence. You know there are some girls who don't mind teaching a guy how to be a good kisser (if you aren't good at it), but do you even really know whether you are or aren't? For some reason, I don't think you do. When you like someone you aren't looking to find their weaknesses and exploit them. Most of the time, if you like someone that much, you would rather help them. At least I would. Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Somewhere indoors perhaps If she invited you inside, would you say yes or decline? Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Let me add a little something then. If a girl asked me to do something with it and I wasn't absolutely sure it was a date, I would assume it wasn't a date, just to be safe. Fair enough...thanks for the input. Link to comment
amethyst exchange Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I don't think you're broken, I think you just need some self-confidence. You know there are some girls who don't mind teaching a guy how to be a good kisser (if you aren't good at it), but do you even really know whether you are or aren't? For some reason, I don't think you do. When you like someone you aren't looking to find their weaknesses and exploit them. Most of the time, if you like someone that much, you would rather help them. At least I would. I don't want to learn. I mean why does she have to like me? She'd have a lot more fun with anyone else. I'm just not well...and she'd get caught in it...and it'd just be better if she'd go away. I don't like the idea of someone liking me...it bothers me. I'd just ruin it anyways....because I'd have to test it all the time... Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 If she invited you inside, would you say yes or decline? I'd most likely go in Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I'd most likely go in You don't sound like you are that shy to me. The guy I am thinking of would most likely freak a bit and decline....then avoid me for a few days, weeks....but I also think that if I laid a kiss on him at the end of my driveway, he wouldn't be able to be concerned as to who is watching because he would be completely caught off guard by the whole thing. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 You don't sound like you are that shy to me. The guy I am thinking of would most likely freak a bit and decline....then avoid me for a few days, weeks....but I also think that if I laid a kiss on him at the end of my driveway, he wouldn't be able to be concerned as to who is watching because he would be completely caught off guard by the whole thing. Well most of my shyness comes in the arena of finding ways to meet women, approaching women, how to converse with women, how to get them attracted, etc. So it's finding them and getting and keeping them interested that's the hard part for me. If I know she's interested and she's already kissing me, I can do that as long as we're on the same pace Link to comment
givinggirl Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Well most of my shyness comes in the arena of finding ways to meet women, approaching women, how to converse with women, how to get them attracted, etc. So it's finding them and getting and keeping them interested that's the hard part for me. If I know she's interested and she's already kissing me, I can do that as long as we're on the same pace I that is pretty typical of most people...maybe not the one's who are only out for a one night stand, but if you are looking for something serious, I think most have those types of anxieties. Link to comment
GernBlanston Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I don't think you're broken, I think you just need some self-confidence. You know there are some girls who don't mind teaching a guy how to be a good kisser (if you aren't good at it), but do you even really know whether you are or aren't? For some reason, I don't think you do. When you like someone you aren't looking to find their weaknesses and exploit them. Most of the time, if you like someone that much, you would rather help them. At least I would. The point is that he doesn't believe she could possibly be interested in him, even if she kisses him. If she isn't interested in him, she must be kissing him for some other reason. It's not a huge stretch to conclude that she's kissing him in order to embarrass him. Alternatively, if she isn't trying to be cruel, she could simply be confused. She can't really want to be kissing him, so there must be something wrong. It would be unethical for him to take advantage of the situation by kissing her back, no matter how much he might want to. She can't possibly be interested. I can relate to that. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I that is pretty typical of most people...maybe not the one's who are only out for a one night stand, but if you are looking for something serious, I think most have those types of anxieties. Even if I were out looking for a one night stand, I doubt I'd be anymore successful Link to comment
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