Ideal Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I've read a few posts about dumpees receiving or waiting to receive a "happy valentines day" message from the dumper. My ex (the dumper) sent a message last night at like 1 am saying "Happy Valentines Day"...Just curious, does it really mean anything when the dumper sends the dumpee this kinda message ? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 No. It doesn't. It just sets you up for more hurt by continuing to power the idea of you two getting back together. If they wanted to get back together, they'd get back together with you. Link to comment
CAgirl Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I really doubt it. My ex called me first thing this morning, but I personally feel like it didn't really mean anything. It is just a courteous thing to do. Link to comment
Ideal Posted February 15, 2009 Author Share Posted February 15, 2009 I really doubt it. My ex called me first thing this morning, but I personally feel like it didn't really mean anything. It is just a courteous thing to do. Yeah, I was thinking it was more of a gesture. I think I'm just trying to find some hidden meaning, oh well, I won't look into it. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Only two things it means for sure is that they (1) thought about you and (2) put in the effort required to send a three word text message. So, what it means is -- not much. I didn't send any of my exes any Vday message and I didn't receive one from any of them...and I really do think that is for the best, all around. Link to comment
CAgirl Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Yeah, I was thinking it was more of a gesture. I think I'm just trying to find some hidden meaning, oh well, I won't look into it. It would be best if you didn't. I hope that you had a good day regardless. Link to comment
Ideal Posted February 15, 2009 Author Share Posted February 15, 2009 Only two things it means for sure is that they (1) thought about you and (2) put in the effort required to send a three word text message. So, what it means is -- not much. Lol, put in the effort to send a three word text, I love that That really put the whole thing in perspective, thanks lol Link to comment
Ideal Posted February 15, 2009 Author Share Posted February 15, 2009 It would be best if you didn't. I hope that you had a good day regardless. Thanks, I did actually, I hope you had a good day too! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I agree with the others not to read too much into it. On the flip side, I'd advise those who didn't hear anything to not necessarily read anything into THAT, either. The previous two New Year's Eves, I got a text from my ex wishing me a "Happy New Year." This year...nothing. I didn't really expect anything (he and I still see each other at work, so it's not like we've been in NC -- we speak regularly), but I realize that, just as the two previous New Year's texts didn't mean he wanted me back, neither did the lack of a text this time mean much -- it's just a three-line text -- or lack thereof. Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I've read a few posts about dumpees receiving or waiting to receive a "happy valentines day" message from the dumper. My ex (the dumper) sent a message last night at like 1 am saying "Happy Valentines Day"...Just curious, does it really mean anything when the dumper sends the dumpee this kinda message ? what do you want it to mean?? if they know it's over and know what "having hope" feels like and how much it hurts, why on EARTH would they want to put you through that????? It seems selfish and super immature. SHOULD they feel like some type of reconciliation is something they want, they should contact you and meet with you and open heartedly talk to you. man, people are so friggin' immature!!!! lol I was sad that my ex didn,t send me anything , and I just realised that it is becasue he s NICE that he didn't. Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 To be honest, no. I don't think it means anything. Everybody sends a simple 'Happy Valentine's Day' message to everybody else these days, regardless of intimacy or relationship. Link to comment
rapunzel Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Well I got a Happy Valentines Day all! through group email sent by my ex pertaining to a business reason.....since it was sent to 8 other people beside me, including several men, I know it means nothing! Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Nope, they're just throwing you a bone. Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 To be honest, no. I don't think it means anything. Everybody sends a simple 'Happy Valentine's Day' message to everybody else these days, regardless of intimacy or relationship. I sure did. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 At one place I worked I shared an office with a male colleague. He was about 10-15 years older than I and was married and had a child. We had a good working relationship and used to joke around and chat. One year on Valentine's Day he put a chocolate on my desk as a Happy Valentine's Day. It certainly wasn't a romantic gesture, it was just a fun gesture in the spirit of the day...kind of like how many people dress in green on St. Patrick's Day even if they are not Irish. It just becomes something to celebrate in the spirit of good fun. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 We are talking about an ex here. It is my belief (and experience) that most ex's prefer to AVOID contact unless they still have some residual feeling or hope to reconcile. Now, I am by no means saying it means a dumper wants to reconcile. Just that you are in their thoughts and everything they feel for you is not dead and gone. Actually, I find it is just the opposite. The ones that respect you leave you alone and do not contact you. They also do not contact to save their own feelings. The ones that don't care will keep you dragging along. The text is just a fun game for them. Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Yes, it means something. If someone had no feelings for you whatsoever, they would not bother sending it. They wouldn't even make contact. .. Actually, no, they don't. My friends all send me Happy Valentine's Day messages ad I'm not in intimate relationships with them, and my colleagues from work sent me Happy Valentine's Day e-mails just to be friendly... this is what I was getting at. Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 .. I understand. The difference here for OP is that this was not a friend or colleague. It was an ex. I see a text message of any kind (or email, phone call, etc) to an ex (unless it is for practical matters or kids, etc) as "reaching out", unless the two have been friends since the breakup and have remained in contact, which I don't think is OP's case. Did you contact any ex's to wish them happy V-day? I didn't. This is definitely true, you're right. But I think it depends on the circumstance. If it was just a message that send something like "Happy Valentine's Day!" it could have been a mass-message sent to all of their friends. I know heaps of people do things like this. But if it was more personalised towards the OP... then you're right - it could most definitely be a way of reaching out and possibly means something... Link to comment
Ideal Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 This is definitely true, you're right. But I think it depends on the circumstance. If it was just a message that send something like "Happy Valentine's Day!" it could have been a mass-message sent to all of their friends. I know heaps of people do things like this. But if it was more personalised towards the OP... then you're right - it could most definitely be a way of reaching out and possibly means something... It was an IM, not a text, so it wasn't a mass message. Also, MIsskitty, apart of me hopes you're right about him reaching out, but I guess it would be better to just not think much of it because I tend to get disappointed every time he brings my hopes up. If he was reaching out, then hopefully he will find a more effective method, if not, then I hope that was the end of it. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 It's really easy to get false hope from things like this. Link to comment
JenniferSNJ Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Actually, I find it is just the opposite. The ones that respect you leave you alone and do not contact you. They also do not contact to save their own feelings. The ones that don't care will keep you dragging along. The text is just a fun game for them. Completely agree. I was careful not to make contact with my ex in the past 8 or so months because I didn't want to send him any mixed signals. I personally feel it was the mature and respectful thing to do. I really cared about him and I still wish him well so I did my best to disappear and let him heal. Although he was a jerk after we broke up (we still talked for a little while), I realize it's because he was hurt and needed to move on. If you really care about someone, you'll act in both of your best interest and stay no contact unless you want to get back together. Link to comment
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