Let's talk about this.

[blueangel]

Firstly, it deals with a suicidal human being.

 

Secondly, it deals with that suicide taking place online.

 

I think we, as people, should talk about the implications of our online usage and what it means. Why are we reaching out for help here?

 

I understand it helps but the nature of people, it could be made worse. This person committed suicide live on a webcam....and for hours, people watched him just lay there without doing anything.

 

If you're on here and wanting to die, understand fundamentally you are wanting help for your problems and see no other way out. It's not logic that is leading you to this choice. It's the pain of your heart that counseling and support can help with.

 

I tried to commit suicide before when I was in high school and stuck in a situation where my mom's boyfriend was emotionally abusive to her...it gave me panic attacks, I was a mess for other reasons too, and was missing school- afraid I wouldnt get to go to college and couldnt see any hope for my life.

 

I am now in college, studying to become a high school English teacher. Studying philosophy and Ayn Rand, Socrates, Plato really helps with my emotions because my emotions, my pain, comes from this place of "why?" and not knowing how to guide myself out. I read objective ways of thoughtin how to lead my life morally and for what reasons, and it quiets that emotion. Education can really do so many things.

 

Environmental Geology teaches me about the world and its problems. It gives me character because it makes me care, it makes me want to reach out.

 

Im involved in volunteer and community service work. You do what you have to do. I want to help out others and reach outside of myself. I also do a lot of art and poetry but since that makes me emotional, I take a ZUMBA class which is so fun!!! It incorporates street dances, latin dance, and african dance. It's the most fun Ive ever had working out with a bunch of people.

 

I dont let my pain dictate my time. Sometimes all we can do is "better manage our damage." And that's through how we live and what we strive for, an evaluation of our values and to challenge ourself to embrace life, seizing oppertunities as they come. I also look at world photography and will be studying abroad in Japan, China, and Scotland. If you ever want truth and beauty, look at Scotland photography.

 

But most of all, realize happiness is not a given to the human life. It's an achievement of values and dreams, thereforee ,it is a struggle to reach and is meant to be. I am so glad that I did not die. Now, a future high school English teacher, I will be able to inspire people and incorporate worldly subjects into my class to create awareness, end indifference, and motivate people to dream.

 

So Live. By God, LIve. What can you do dead? It's selfish. Anyone who even knows you will be greatly put into a dark place by its occurrence and live their life in a longing for a time and a person they will never happen again. Dont doubt your own worth.

 

I saw a skull and this place of pain when I tried. A clear image, Im not even kidding. It was a dark place of only screaming and agony. I knew that God sent me that image so I would fear suicide. I do now. That pain inside you, you go straight to it when you die if you die by leaving as a choice. I felt demons and darkness and all the suffering of the world waiting for me. I was literally wailing at the impact of this vision.

 

I know there is a light though...a beautiful light and it shines through love, kindness and generosity. Maybe challenge yourself that way rather than giving into the dark voices of pain.

 

That way, you can help yourself most.

 

And since this problem of pain is really a problem of purpose, know that you are not alone. It's the human struggle because life is not easy, but you must CHERISH it til the end and go naturally. Never planned....DO NOT KILL YOURSELF FOR ANY REASON. Learn from what is happening, find reasons, and take the RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF TO FIND HELP AND TO KEEP SEARCHING IF ONE THING DOES NOT WORK, YOU TRY ANOTHER. ITS YOUR ATTITUDE WHICH MUST GUIDE THIS, YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE FOR YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST HUMAN BEING TO GO THROUGH HARD TIMES. God uses everything and he turned my life around and is using me now to say "DONT DO IT." and I scream this with my entire heart and being. Let it matter to you that I have...

[Jeen]

It will never happen here.

 

 

[blueangel]

It will never happen here.

 

]

 

Good.

 

That's good. I remember a long time ago I came on this forum and some people would get angry at those wanting to take their lives and then that person wanting to would just get angry back.

 

Still, the point is online help is not the remedy or answer. It's to support you along the way as you retrieve it yourself. Never forget that, seek oppertunities for help if you find yourself falling under the weight of things. Other people, in a stable position, can lift you up. So if you dont get fulfillment here, get counseling. Let this just be your support added on top of that. It's up to you to find your own answers. There's only so much a forum can do.