jammer180 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I've seen lots of threads on rebound relationships, and how they rarely work out... but I'm wondering, what is considered a rebound relationship exactly? Is it running into the arms of the first person you meet after a relationship has ended? Or could it also be considered a rebound relationship if they met the other person while still with you, and basically dumped you and just transitioned into a relationship with them? In either of these cases, do people really believe that these rarely work out? Anyone ever been in a rebound relationship? How long did it last? Link to comment
Radίaηce Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 A rebound is someone that you unintentionally or intentially use to get over someone you previously dated, or keep on the side when you miss the aspects of being in a relationship in general, or the person you used to be in a relationship with. It happens to all of us. You will either have a rebound or be a rebound. Sometimes they are good, some times messy. I would hope we all have good morals and unintentionally do the rebound thing. Link to comment
jammer180 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 A rebound is someone that you unintentionally or intentially use to get over someone you previously dated' date=' or keep on the side when you miss the aspects of being in a relationship in general, or the person you used to be in a relationship with. It happens to all of us. You will either have a rebound or be a rebound. Sometimes they are good, some times messy. I would hope we all have good morals and unintentionally do the rebound thing.[/quote'] So, my ex met someone, and dumped me to date her... that's not a rebound relationship then right? Because he chose her over me, he didn't use her to get over me. It was his choice to break up, so he had nothing to get over. So why do people use the term rebound relationship when talking about ex's that left them for someone new? I'm confused. Link to comment
Radίaηce Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Well, if you don't allow enough time to heal after he left you, then there is big possibility the next person you are with will be a rebound. Now as for him, if it doesnt work out with the new girl, you will probably be on his mind, and he might even attempt to get back together with you. IF he cannot, then for sure there is a possibility that the next girl he dates after this one will be a rebound for him. Link to comment
Slagar Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 There is also a chance rebounds can work out - it just depends on how much you've healed over your last relationship, and how well the new relationship functions. It was his choice to break up, so he had nothing to get over. This is not true at all How long were you together? Even if you break up with someone, you can certainly still miss their company, and the happy times you shared together. This is why many people "choose to break up" with someone, and then after a short time of being on their own, decide it was a big mistake and try to get back together with the person. You really have to let your intuition guide you - how was he acting before he broke up with you? It sounds to me like this new person could be a rebound, and that there is a chance he might try to come back to you at some stage. You should be wary of this. In the mean time though, don't hold your breath or waste your time waiting for him. Link to comment
rustyschackelf Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Rebounds rarely work out, I've been a rebound and gotten hurt. And now that my gf just broke up with me a few days ago I worry I may be trying to turn another girl who I think has always like me when I had a gf, and who I suddenly got back into contact with, into a rebound. Just be careful of rebound relationships, keep your guard up and be leery about jumping into anything too soon. And if your ex does try to get back into contact with you I would suggest not reciprocating, don't be his second choice or his fallback. Link to comment
jammer180 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 I guess I was just wondering if the girl he is dating now would be considered a rebound becuase he met her just before he broke up with me, and then dumped me for her. He didn't know that I've known this all along though, until about a week ago. We dated for a year on and off. A couple weeks before breaking up, things were still ok, he even asked me not to apply for a job in vancouver I'd wanted because he wanted me here with him. Then he started acting distant, wouldn't commit to plans on weekends, and became too busy. Then suddenly one morning, he wanted to talk about how he wasn't sure we had a future together and wanted a break to think for a week. I gave it to him, after the week he wanted to break up, but was still really unsure so asked for more time. I said forget it I'm not waiting for you. I was VERY upset though and he knew it... He was very uncertain and upset. But, we broke up and had a big fight and never spoke again.... Until a week ago... He's been with her for 6 months, we've been broken up 6 months. And he emailed me to see how I've been and mentioned that he'd love to tell me what's been up with him but wasn't sure I'd like to hear it... said he didn't expect to hear back from me but it would be nice to hear from me.... I chose not to respond. It felt as though he was trying to throw in my face that he had a gf. He didn't know that I'd known all along though, and I wanted to avoid a fight, and figured by the email that it wasn't him trying to get back with me. Then 3 days later, he messaged me on msn and started trying to catch up like nothing ever happened. So I blew up at him, told him that I hadn't responded for a reason and that his email was rude and that I already knew about her, and I'd known the entire time and had no interest in speaking to him. He got really defensive, saying he'd just wanted to see how I was and say hi.... It was strange to me, becuase I didn't respond to him. He couldn't just take that as that I'm not interested in speaking and forget about me? He has a gf! He pursued trying to catch up which pissed me off cuz it felt like he was then trying to force his information about his life on me. Anyway, the end of our conversation was ok I guess. I told him a bit about what was going on with me, he apologized and said he could see how it seemed selfish of him contacting me and that he wouldnt contact again and didnt want me to feel that i had to talk to him but that i could if i wanted to.... So, I wonder if she was a rebound and it's not working out ... or if he was just trying to rub it in my face that it is working out to justify what he did to me for himself... I was doing so well... .I just can't get my mind off this now. I wanted him to contact me and I was sooooo rude to him now I regret it. Link to comment
striker_dude Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 I would hope we all have good morals You can hope but that's pretty far from the truth. If we all had good morals there wouldn't be policemen, courts, and jails. Link to comment
jammer180 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 .. It is none of those things. It is not a rebound - he met her before you guys broke up and has been with her 6 months. She was the catalyst for your breakup. Also, why would he want to rub her in your face, especially after 6 months? No, they are having problems or he would never have contacted you. Not out of the blue like that. If they break up he will be coming on strong to you. I hope you stay strong. It is like him to contact ex flings or gf's when things start to go bad in a relationship... he's very much the type that cannot be alone. And, I'm quite sure I will never hear from him again, so I don't need to stay strong in worrying about whether or not I'd take him back. After our convo. on msn last week, he said he wouldn't contact me again and apologized for making me angry over contacting me and said he realized it was a bit selfish but didn't mean for it to come accross that way. Regardless, he said he wouldn't contact me again. So, I guess that's that then..... I'll never know why he contacted me... I wish I didn't miss him still. Link to comment
george237 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 When one misses the basket and another recovers the ball it is called a rebound. Link to comment
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