will he be back?

[gugaguga]

2 weeks ago my boyfriend and i had a fight and ended up moving away from each other. now i have no contact with him at all. he said that he still loves me and that he wants us to stay true to each other but i don't have a clue about anything thats going on. i'm just waiting for him to clear his mind. i find it so hard being away from him but i don't want to scare him or bug him by always calling or emailing. i really need some advice on what to do next. if theres anyone out there who can help then please do so.

 

lost without him

[Medan]

Well first of all good luck to you. I know what it is like to be apart from the person you love!

 

You would really have to tell us a little more about whats going on. How long have yall been dating? What did yall fight about that drove yall apart?

 

Best wishes

[gugaguga]

well this is what happened. i really don't know. he came home and he thought that i was mad but i honestly wasn't. i told him that. it was like he wanted the argument. he kept everything going till he got what he was looking for. we had an awful fight about a lot. like we needed it. we were so mad that the relationship was bascially over. i left him because of the high emotions that were going around. i felt really bad and came back to see him the next day. it went from being over to taking a break to see where it was going. but we still had the love. as i was packing to leave he cried and my emotions were sent flying. we then spent the next 4 days together traveling back to our home town on bus. everything was great. he still told me that he loved me and that he would think about me all the time. we were still very close. kissing and cuddleing the whole way. when we left each other we said that we loved each other and that he would call when he was ready. that was 9 days ago. i havn't heard from him at all, only a few emails. and they were jokes. but its tearing me apart. i love him so much. its affecting everything that i do. i can't eat, sleep. i always cry and i never prayed so much for us in my life. its hard not knowing what hes thinking, or what hes even doing. especially since we live about an hour away from each other. i just miss him so much and i need some sort of healing for myself. i need him so bad. he is my life, the greatest love i ever had. we were dating for 2 and a half years and my life did a 360 in a matter of days. any advice you can offer? should i call, should i see him. should i wait longer. i don't know what to do. i miss him so much.

[Hopingpraying]

Guga,

 

I know how you feel. I know that by itself will not help you even a little bit, but I do know how you feel. I have lost 16 pounds since my wife filed for divorce, and I wasn't over weight to begin with. It sucks, but it really sounds like you guys are not going to breakup based on the information you provided. I would advise the no contact. He will start to miss you and call you. Bugging him will only push him away further. I did it with my wife when she was asking for space. All it did was get me a divorce. Had I found this forum prior to pushing her we may be trying to work out our problems right now.

 

Anyway. I wish you luck. And understand that even if your current relationship doesn't work out you will get through it.

 

Hoping & Praying for u.

[gugaguga]

i know that space is definitly what he needs right now. but i feel like he should know how i feel. i guess that he does anyways. but i feel that there are 2 people in the relationship and that i deserve to know what hes thinking. i will give it time but how much? i can't wait forever. i don't want to keep feeling this way. i've been asking advice from everyone that i know and they all keep telling me to give it time but that i can't wait forever. i've also been told to wait 2 weeks and then make it a point to get together to see him and find out what is really going on. but i don't know if thats a good idea either. why do realtionships have to be so hard and confusing? ahhhh!!!!. lol. when a person tells you that they love you still then that has to mean something dosn't it? there are so many questions in my mind. by all means whoever reads this post please get back to me with something. too much advice is never enough when your in this situation. thanks.

 

lost without him

[gugaguga]

well here the latest. i found out through a so called friend that my other is moving away. i don't know what to do or what i should say. this is where i wonder if the no contact thing should stop. why would he do that to me without telling me first. i really need to know whats going on now. please help and let me know what i should do. should i forget him an dmove on, should i call and find out whats going on. i really need help with this. please get back to me with advice.

 

hopeless

[dikaia880]

Thats a tough situation, sorry you have to be there. I've been trying to figure out at what point no contact should stop, or not be used, and I haven't many answers for that. I don't know if I completely understand your situation.....Your an hour apart now, and he's moving somewhere else? You left him? Anymore info would help.

 

I don't know you or him so it's hard to say what will work the best...i'd maybe email first, "Hey there!" "how are you" type thing. Lighthearted...this is not the time to let your sadness show..end it by saying you miss talking. Do not put love or anything to that effect in it, that will just pressure him...plus it will make him think a little. Then let him contact you, and when he does try to get a feel for what he's saying, and by all means do not try to read into what he's saying...

It seems to me that he does love you, but that theres something else in the issue...maybe he knew he was moving away and he thought it was just easier to get in a fight and have it end, rather than dealing with parting and missing each other...Let Keep talkiog and we'll keep trying to help...

Prayer also helps a lot...it helps heal, and if things don't work out you'll know that it wasn't in God's plans. Best of Luck!

[emma]

I agree with the previous post, in that sense that maybe he was planning to move away before and freaked out about having to tell you and discuss it with you. You have to find out in some way if that was the case. I'm pretty much in favor of the no contact rule, but if he is moving away you might want to talk to him about this. A lighthearted e-mail to get in touch would be the best and see how he responds to this. If you get to talk to him, be friendly, that's the only way to have a chance to know what's going on in his mind, what he wants to do in life and if you can deal with that. If you talk to him, at first keep it friendly, talk about him, about how he feels, don't show your own emotions (don't be heartless though, but put the focus on him without putting pressure, so as to know first what's going on).

 

Keep using this forum as a support tool, it helped me a lot in terms of taking it easy and not doing as many mistakes as I might have made without reading the posts on this forum where everybody has been or/and is going through very difficult time in their personal life. People in here share their experience and it helps a lot because most people know what they are talking about... and the most important thing I believe is that some experimented people in here have this ability to make you understand that there're hard times in life but eventually we all go through, heal, get stronger and move on.

 

Be strong, think about what's best for you too, and keep posting (you can pm me too if you want).

[gugaguga]

well this is the story up to this point. first off i want to thank all the caring people who actually took the time to come on this and offer me advice in this time of need. it was a blessing from all of you.

 

i still havn't seen my other since we left each other almost three weeks ago. and i havn't called. but i sent him an email about us and wondering what was going on with us. he left me with no sense of what was to happen to us. i sent him this email because i am hearing from mutual friends that we were broken up. this leaves me to believe that hes telling others that we are since i havn't told anybody about my feelings. and i've also heard that he was moving away. for all the girls out there i know that you feel that this would be a wise decision since we all need to know in times like these.

 

i have nothing left but the feeling that this is over and that this is his way of escaping us and what we had. you know the easy way out. but i've learnt that i am better then this. it was a hard road but i am doing better and i don't want to be involved with anybody who has to sit and think if this is really what they want.

 

so if i don't hear from him then oh well. hes really not the guy that i thought that he was. his loss cause i know that he'll never find anyone that will treat him any better then i trested him. maybe just as good but never better. so i have that in my heart. he was and is the love of my life. but i'm starting the process of moving on.

 

so thats that up to now. and for all who think that life can't possibly go on after a realtionship has ended. well i'm living proof that there is. just keep faith in yourself and everything will be fine.

 

regards

guga