Void

[SMP]

I was broken up with earlier this month and have been trying to deal with my feelings. Suffice it to say, I'm having troubles. I feel stupid on one hand because we dated for such a short period. So short, in fact, that I'm sure she's just fine these days. She told me herself, being depressed was a waste of time, and that she didn't deal with it. Yet on the other hand, I miss her so much. She won't leave my head, and nothing makes me feel permanently better about life.

 

I've started drinking daily. When I wake up, when I get home from work, school, etc. I'm seeing a therapist in a few days, hoping he'll be able to help me. My daily routine is a foggy mess. Profound, exquisite sadness when I wake up, monopolizing my thoughts and leaving me a vapid corpse, staring at the ceiling. Her name runs over and over through my head, and I experience abrupt, vivid flashbacks to time we spent together. The sound of her voice, things she said, the softness of her body, her eyes, her lips, the smell of her hair, her breath...none of it leaves me, though the memories themselves become painfully dimmer every day, ripping themselves from me as though they're tearing my flesh away.

 

I can't cry anymore. I'm dried up and bitter, lashing out at other people on occasion. I was content before I met her. I was fine with the way my life was going. Then she came along and made me so happy. It makes me sick to remember how * * * * ing happy I was with her. The feelings she brought out in me were so intense, and the memory of them contrasts depressingly with the void that resides in me now.

[HajiMaji]

Alright man, it seems like you are struggling. Its alright though, a lot of people have been where you are right now. I have been there twice myself. I know how rough it can be, so know that its ok you feel this way.

 

I think therapy will help. It will help you get over this relationship, and if you work at the therapy, you might learn how to better live your romantic life. I went to a therapist after a break up once and it helped a lot. At first it was slow, but as time passed, my therapist really helped me come to terms with my break up. I also gained a lot of knowledge about myself and what I should be looking for and how I can improve in my future relationships.

 

For now though, its tough. Just know it gets better. It always does. Im sorry man. Keep tough.