I hate phones...

[skittlesfae]

Okay so here's the deal. When my boyfriend and I first started talking as 'friends', we'd talk for an hour or two of actually TALKING. We'd discuss stuff like life, views on it, stuff we've been through, whatever. But now, our typical phone conversation involves "bzzz" [thatd be the static...] for at least 30 minutes of an hour. And this is a few times through the day as well.

 

As much as I love being on the phone with him, I don't enjoy silence as a method of communication. It's not my idea of fun. A little every bit is fine, I actually love that feeling of being comfortable to just 'be' and be silent, but too much is too much... Any suggestions on how to bring this up with him without it sounding bad or like I'm not interested anymore or something? I tend to screw up what I am saying, and then have to clarify and find it hard to do that, so I want to get it right the first time.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Say that you love talking but you feel as if there is too much silence. So, you wanna have quality instead of quantity. Which means you should try talking less.

[pumpkinmoon]

Maybe you both talk to long on the phone and it is causing you to run out of things to say. This would be the case to th longer yo have been together because the longer you have the more you know about eachothr so there is less and less to tell.

[skittlesfae]

Maybe you both talk to long on the phone and it is causing you to run out of things to say. This would be the case to th longer yo have been together because the longer you have the more you know about eachothr so there is less and less to tell.

Yeah.. That's what happened in my last relationship, a long with a number of other things, involving his jerkishness... But anyway.

 

Problem is we've only been together a month. Then again, though, we talked daily for at least a month before that, and then more frequently when we started dating.

 

Seems like he has started up doing all the things I had told him I hated about the last guy though.. little things, not the jerkish stuff. Just like, constantly bein on the phone, calling and talking for a few minutes then out of nowhere saying he is going to eat and that he'll call me back when he is done, but not calling back until two hours later or more. [i joked with a friend that they better be some friggin exquisite, top dollar, high quality Ramen Noodles...] It just gets annoying when your guy just starts doing eveyrthing you've said you hated about the other guy.... But I'm gonna mention it to him tonight I think, about to walk over there now. Finally lol.

[hockeyboy]

I never hold a conversation on the phone...I use the phone to set up a date and converse there.

 

Nothing worse then getting to your actual date and having this convo

 

person 1: "did i tell you about _______"

person 2: "yup. did i tell you about ________"

person 1: "yup"

person 2: "so...."

[hockeyboy]

Girl I'm dating now...I never talk to her on the phone (except to set things up).

 

When I see her, I have plenty to say and God knows she does too haha

[xRoh]

i'm like this with a lot of people. i can never have phone conversations because i always eventually run out of things to say. it can be quite awkward.

 

however, when i was with my ex, we used to talk on the mic literally all day and all night, every single day. we used to do a lot of pc gaming together and using mic is free so we never had to worry about phone bills. we never ran out of things to say. it was always so natural. that's one of the things i loved most about him. he was amazing to talk to.. *sigh*

[skittlesfae]

Girl I'm dating now...I never talk to her on the phone (except to set things up).

 

When I see her, I have plenty to say and God knows she does too haha

Well... As much as I think I MIGHT enjoy that... I have yet to be in a 'non highschool type' relationship. Its that whole 'having to talk daily, and mannnny times a day' thing that I am trying to break, but I dont want it to screw up our relationship. Then again, I figure, if that's what breaks things, then I dont even WANT to know what else could come that would as well........

[JeckyllNHyde]

I think after a few weeks or months of dating you kind of run out of new things to say and your views on life have already been mentioned.

You guys are still in a "highschool type relationship" from what I understood in your post? Does that mean you don't get to see each other any time you want, etc?

 

If you can see each other, I think it works better to spend less time on the phone. Limit it to a few short phone calls a day instead of 1 or 2 really long ones.

 

I personally prefer to call my bf 3-4 times a day but for a few minutes when I'm bored and just want to say hi. That's if I can't see him. If I can I'll call in the morning to say hi (and I'm at work) and in the afternoon when I'm not doing anything in my break.

[pumpkinmoon]

Yeah that's probably the best thing to do. And I can understand your frustration. Why phone someone if he knows he has stuff to do or has to eat, he should do that first and then call you.

[hockeyboy]

I personally prefer to call my bf 3-4 times a day but for a few minutes when I'm bored and just want to say hi. That's if I can't see him. If I can I'll call in the morning to say hi (and I'm at work) and in the afternoon when I'm not doing anything in my break.

 

To each his/her own...and if you two are happy with it, I think it's fine, but personally it would drive me nuts.

 

I think one thing the OP can talk about with her bf in one of these conversations is just how much they really need/want to chit chat on the phone....I know a lot of guys who take calls even though they really don't want to.

[skittlesfae]

Yeah that's probably the best thing to do. And I can understand your frustration. Why phone someone if he knows he has stuff to do or has to eat, he should do that first and then call you.

Yeah... And he did it AGAIN tonight! Granted, he had just gotten home from his mom taking me home, and said he would call.. But he could have either waited the few minutes to call [he is a REALLY fast eater btw] or talked a bit longer before running to get food. -_- I kind of sighed, and when he asked if I was alright I made the mistake of saying yeah. Because it's not that big of a deal that he does it, what is a big deal is that I HAVE mentioned my dislike over it even if not dealing with US... Of course, my brother is on the phone with his gf, so I missed his call-back. And I have been wanting to run to the neighbors to chill but I haven't because I was waiting on him to call, because he had to "eat" [which again does not, should not, take an hour, when he eats in less than 15 minutes typically. And that's him preparing the food AND eating slow...]

[skittlesfae]

To each his/her own...and if you two are happy with it, I think it's fine, but personally it would drive me nuts.

 

I think one thing the OP can talk about with her bf in one of these conversations is just how much they really need/want to chit chat on the phone....I know a lot of guys who take calls even though they really don't want to.

Well as for that last statement, it wouldn't be him taking the calls when he doesn't want to... I rarely get a chance to call him because he's already calling to say 'i'm gonna eat I'll call ya back when I am done'... Again, different story if it were ME calling when he is about to eat.

 

It does drive me nuts is the problem, and that I've mentioned it before as well. But chances are he's forgotten or thinks maybe it doesn't apply to him or something. I guess it's kind of sweet that he calls, but my caller ID has his number on it like 7 times a day, today had 7 and yesterday had like 5. That's a bit excessive to me and I don't get a chance to call him. And he's mentioned before that he disliked when his ex did a similar thing, so I just don't know why all of a sudden he's started up doing it. Thought it was just because today was a bit hectic-ish, with him having to get housework done and whatnot, before i could come over. But that was before he did it tonight after just seeing each other.

 

And wow I type too much... lol.

[skittlesfae]

i'm like this with a lot of people. i can never have phone conversations because i always eventually run out of things to say. it can be quite awkward.

 

however, when i was with my ex, we used to talk on the mic literally all day and all night, every single day. we used to do a lot of pc gaming together and using mic is free so we never had to worry about phone bills. we never ran out of things to say. it was always so natural. that's one of the things i loved most about him. he was amazing to talk to.. *sigh*

Well I WISH i could do the whole Mic thing, or even that I had speaker phone or something, because I hate having my hand glued to the phone, especially when my hands get sort of sore and stuff after keeping them one way for two long.. [and yes, I do switch hands and stuff...]

[skittlesfae]

Basically, yeah. We're both 18, but his mom STILL has yet to relinquish her total control over him. She's extremely controlling, and protective. Doesn't want to let him go. When he came over to my house the other night, he had to leave at 9, he had JUST gotten here at 6. It aggravates the living heck out of me. If I could see him more often, whenever I/we wanted, I'd probably cut the phone almost altogether. I hate phones, hate talking on them. Hate being tied down to it. If I had a cell, it MIGHT be a bit differnt, I could take it with me where I wanted, or have him text me like, hey ima eat, call ya in a bit, or something. but.... neither of us have cells, cars, or anything.